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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2010
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    Unhappy Where Do I Start

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Texas

    I'm expecting a baby as the result of infidelity(on my part). I'm still married and for the time being the plan is to stay that way. The affair partner/expectant mother is currently going through a divorce(that was filed prior to the discovery of this pregnancy, (and supposedly had nothing to do with our affair). The affair partner/expectant mother has stated that she does not want nor expects anything for me. This is unacceptable for me as I want to be a part of this child's life(assuming it is mine), and help to provide for it. I know that the first thing I will need to do is to establish paternity. What is the best way to go about this, should I get a lawyer, or ask for it on my own. My fear is that the expectant mother will want to limit my access to the child. I do not want to be one of the stories that you hear about in which one parent denies the other access to the children. Do I have any legal right to demand that she give the baby my last name? How does her being involved in a pending divorce affect me and this pregnancy? I don't really know how she is going to behave once the baby is born, and I just want to be a part of the child's life, help support it and have fair access to the child and visitation. I anticipate that there will be great resentment from her family once they find out what's going on, and that they will be a big influence on her as they provide a great deal of support for her (financially). They also have considerably more resources (financially) than I do. Where do I start???

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
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    35,894

    Default Re: Where Do I Start

    Quote Quoting inapickle
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Texas

    I'm expecting a baby as the result of infidelity(on my part). I'm still married and for the time being the plan is to stay that way. The affair partner/expectant mother is currently going through a divorce(that was filed prior to the discovery of this pregnancy, (and supposedly had nothing to do with our affair). The affair partner/expectant mother has stated that she does not want nor expects anything for me. This is unacceptable for me as I want to be a part of this child's life(assuming it is mine), and help to provide for it. I know that the first thing I will need to do is to establish paternity. What is the best way to go about this, should I get a lawyer, or ask for it on my own. My fear is that the expectant mother will want to limit my access to the child. I do not want to be one of the stories that you hear about in which one parent denies the other access to the children. Do I have any legal right to demand that she give the baby my last name? How does her being involved in a pending divorce affect me and this pregnancy? I don't really know how she is going to behave once the baby is born, and I just want to be a part of the child's life, help support it and have fair access to the child and visitation. I anticipate that there will be great resentment from her family once they find out what's going on, and that they will be a big influence on her as they provide a great deal of support for her (financially). They also have considerably more resources (financially) than I do. Where do I start???

    I would speak with an attorney.

    Mom cannot, once your paternity has been established, deny you access to your child. You can do it pro se (without an attorney) but since Mom's divorce won't be finalized by the time the child is born (assuming she's honest and informs the court of the pregnancy, that is) you have the added complication that her current husband will be presumed to be the legal father and his paternity will need to be disestablished first.

    So much may depend on how much you think Mom will fight you on this.

    If you think she'll eventually come around, by all means call the court house and ask which forms you need to file a paternity action. The clerk can tell you what you need (though cannot help you fill them out or anything else). Then you can file for joint custody/visitation.

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