Results 1 to 10 of 10
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    6

    Angry Can a Minor Child Choose or Change Primary Residence

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: INDIANA

    Quick history/overview of divorce:
    -joint custody
    -I have primary residential of our 2 children for 6 years
    -he regularly pays child support accordingly
    -flexible visitation schedule agreed upon in lieu of IN state guidelines due to his irregular extensive travel schedule
    -i have ALWAYS accommodated his visitation requests
    -father visited 1 weekend in the last 4 months - typical rare visits
    -I have remarried 2yrs ago & have a financially/emotionally stable home w/ other step children in the home.

    A little more drama:
    -he constantly makes negative derogatory remarks about me, how much $$ I 'take' from him, bad e-mails, etc about me to the child(without merit or reason other than his own unresolved anger)
    -child was in counseling with abandonment/anger issues
    -i am the 'bad guy' although the provider of a stable, loving, supportive environment
    -after repeated unheeded requests for him to cease, I filed legal complaint to make him to stop, even brought the e-mail PROOF! -the lovely judge ordered BOTH of us to attend a parenting class

    PROBLEM:
    He is currently trying to persuade this same child (age 13 -soon to be 14yrs) to come live with him in a nearby town. He told her that "when you are 14 you can decide for yourself & tell the judge you want to live with me".

    He is rarely home, always traveling, however has recently remarried his next victim and now they have a new baby. With his replacement family intact he feels that the kids should come & live there, despite his absence.

    QUESTION:

    --Is this true? Can a minor child 14yrs IN state go before a judge to state their wishes of residence?
    --Is his continuous absence a factor even though there is a new 'step parent & new baby step-sibling"? Our child minimally knows this woman as there has been so little overall visitation and exposure to her.
    -- What are my options??

    --As a lawyer, what you YOU do??!!

    Thanks,
    Z

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Minneapolis/St. Paul area
    Posts
    497

    Default Re: Can a Minor Child 14yrs Choose/Change Primary Residence

    From my experience and understanding with the courts (as a party, not a lawyer) a judge will listen to your 14 year old's opinion and desires, just as he/she will listen to yours and your ex's. The child's wishes will NOT be the determining factor. They may be influential to the judge, but they will not make the decision. So...if your child decides that he/she wants to stand in front of a judge and ask to move in with dad, that does not necessarily mean that the child's wish will be granted. You will have the opportunity to present your argument and that will be a deciding factor as well.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Can a Minor Child 14yrs Choose/Change Primary Residence

    The child's wishes alone are NOT going to decide custody; Dad needs to first show a change in circumstance and THEN add kiddo's wishes to the mix.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    424

    Default Re: Can a Minor Child 14yrs Choose/Change Primary Residence

    And new wife and baby are not a change in circumstances.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: Can a Minor Child 14yrs Choose/Change Primary Residence

    If a new wife & baby are not a 'change in circumstances' - What events trigger a 'change in circumstances' and what events are irrelevant?

    There is none of the following issues present in my/our home or life: substance/physical/emotional/verbal abuse, legal issues or character related issues, etc. We are pretty much are a mellow semi-normal & boring mid-upper suburban family in a very safe neighborhood.

    Does my ex husband have to send ME a request first prior to filing a petition to modify with the court?

    I am no psychologist but - to put a child on the stand in the presence of both parents & make such a statement seems like it would cause painful emotional after effects. No matter what their opinion expressed they would internally experience a sense of betraying the other parent. It is putting the child in the middle & not in their best interest!!

    I appreciate your thoughts / response on this!

    Thanks,
    Z

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: Can a Minor Child 14yrs Choose/Change Primary Residence

    If a new wife & baby are not a 'change in circumstances' - What events trigger a 'change in circumstances' and what events are irrelevant?

    There is none of the following issues present in my/our home or life: substance/physical/emotional/verbal abuse, legal issues or character related issues, etc. We are pretty much are a mellow semi-normal & boring mid-upper suburban family in a very safe neighborhood.

    Does my ex husband have to send ME a request first prior to filing a petition to modify with the court?

    I am no psychologist but - to put a child on the stand in the presence of both parents & make such a statement seems like it would cause painful emotional after effects. No matter what their opinion expressed they would internally experience a sense of betraying the other parent. It is putting the child in the middle & not in their best interest!!

    I appreciate your thoughts / response on this!

    Thanks,
    Z

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Can a Minor Child 14yrs Choose/Change Primary Residence

    Quote Quoting Zippygirl
    View Post
    If a new wife & baby are not a 'change in circumstances' - What events trigger a 'change in circumstances' and what events are irrelevant?

    There is none of the following issues present in my/our home or life: substance/physical/emotional/verbal abuse, legal issues or character related issues, etc. We are pretty much are a mellow semi-normal & boring mid-upper suburban family in a very safe neighborhood.

    Does my ex husband have to send ME a request first prior to filing a petition to modify with the court?

    I am no psychologist but - to put a child on the stand in the presence of both parents & make such a statement seems like it would cause painful emotional after effects. No matter what their opinion expressed they would internally experience a sense of betraying the other parent. It is putting the child in the middle & not in their best interest!!

    I appreciate your thoughts / response on this!

    Thanks,
    Z

    This site here contains some great information about what may constitute a change in circumstance.

    Your ex does not have to notify you or make a request of you before filing any sort of petition to modify custody.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,773

    Default Re: Can a Minor Child 14yrs Choose/Change Primary Residence

    Quote Quoting Zippygirl
    View Post
    If a new wife & baby are not a 'change in circumstances' - What events trigger a 'change in circumstances' and what events are irrelevant?

    There is none of the following issues present in my/our home or life: substance/physical/emotional/verbal abuse, legal issues or character related issues, etc. We are pretty much are a mellow semi-normal & boring mid-upper suburban family in a very safe neighborhood.

    Does my ex husband have to send ME a request first prior to filing a petition to modify with the court?

    I am no psychologist but - to put a child on the stand in the presence of both parents & make such a statement seems like it would cause painful emotional after effects. No matter what their opinion expressed they would internally experience a sense of betraying the other parent. It is putting the child in the middle & not in their best interest!!

    I appreciate your thoughts / response on this!

    Thanks,
    Z

    If he does actually file, the first thing you should request is that the court order a GAL (guardian ad litem) be appointed to your case.

  9. #9

    Default child abandonment?

    I am a grandmother of 3. Unf. my son is addicted to drugs and my husband and I have been taking care of his wife and the three kids under our roof for the past 3 years. She does not work but now gets help from the state for food stamps and school. She recently met someone at her school (ANOTHER MAN) and has not been taking care of her kids (we have) etc.

    Her attitude has gotten worse and will not abide by our rules anymore and has moved out but left the kids. She took the littliest one (one year old) and left her two girls with us.

    Do we have any recourse at all with her or with the kids.... what can we do?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: child abandonment?

    roznerconner, please start your own thread and when you do, tell us which US state you live.

    Thanks!

    1. Sponsored Links
       

Similar Threads

  1. Changing a Child's Name: How Can the Father and Primary Custodial Parent Change a Child's Name
    By bndboro128 in forum Name Change
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 05-02-2011, 11:12 AM
  2. Child Change of Residence
    By MaggiesMom in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 09-10-2010, 08:36 PM
  3. Renting Primary Residence
    By RomanB in forum Tax Law
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 12-19-2009, 05:00 AM
  4. Friends or Roommates in Primary Residence
    By kristen246 in forum Tax Law
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 05-03-2007, 07:05 AM
  5. Chapter 13: Can You Keep Your Primary Residence After Bankruptcy
    By fila12 in forum Bankruptcy Law
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 04-03-2007, 08:58 AM
 
 
Sponsored Links

Legal Help, Information and Resources