That is not an assurance that anyone can give.

What you CAN be relatively assured of is that after 14 years, things aren't going to change. If the violence in your relationship continues, or increases, you may BOTH loose open access to the child - him for committing abuse in front of the child, and you for failing to protect the child by returning to a known violent relationship.

Custody for either party is possible. The possibilities decrease if there has been a documented history of violence, BUT, without there having been violence directly toward the child, the reality is that the father will be given SOME level of custody/visitation, even if that visitation is supervised. Remember that in the eyes of the court, you've been with this man and his history for a considerable amount of time, and still chose to have a child with him - even WITH his abusive history. So you're really working against your own endorsement of him as a father to the child. Police reports are one thing, but it's CONVICTIONS that really count. Did criminal charges or arrest ever come about? Were the pics of injuries taken by police? If so what happened with those charges?

The bottom line is that the arrival of the child means that you and this man will likely have SOME level of contact due to visitation for the next 18 years, even if you leave and divorce him and end up with primary custody. T

he dynamics of abuse in relationships isn't something that you just get out from under in a day, and statistically, violence INCREASES when victims attempt to leave. You really need to get some help - and a divorce - which is something you CAN do for yourself. Contact your local domestic violence program and find out what kinds of legal, emotional, counseling, advocacy, safety planning, restraining order assistance, or other services they can provide for you and your child. You cannot force HIM to get help in any way.