Unfortunately, all we have at this point is a verbal agreement. He says he can't afford to contest what I ask for, so I'm filing a support request for the full $3500. But our divorce won't be finalized before early October. In the meantime, well, he has a recent history of somewhat erratic behavior where our relationship is concerned, and I don't want to piss him off and lose my current support. I can't live on unemployment, and the only job offer I've gotten so far in my field is part-time and temporary (seven lousy weeks)--and doesn't start for another two months.

I know that if he gives me support that is not ordered by the court, I can always say that the money was a gift, and he can't escape paying tax on it. This is my ace in the hole. I would hate to use it, though, even as a threat.

I just want to make sure that he has enough net income, after spousal support and the usual deductions, to meet his own needs. But I guess it's up to him to set up his withholding so that he can do that. I have to look out for my own needs first.

This divorce was his idea, not mine. Not that that has anything to do with it, but I get frustrated that he thought he could cut me loose with a couple thou and a recent job loss, and just go on his merry way as if we had never been married. Ever since he found out I wasn't going to allow that, he has taken every opportunity to gripe about it, and he frequently gives me attitude and snark when we meet to conduct business. He feels that I'm taking advantage of him when I'm just trying to survive. I feel guilty as hell asking for support, but the job market sucks right now and I don't know what else to do. Anyway, it's only for a couple of years. We weren't married that long.

Sorry about all the whining. I'll stop now.