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  1. #1

    Unhappy Broke Up and Mother Refuses to Work Out Custody

    I recently (less then a week) got dumped by my gf. I'm in Florida and she's in Georgia. I have the child here with me and he's 16months of age. We broke up on great terms. I mean GREAT. Recently I found out while she's up there that someone's been telling her and manipulating her into hating me, being irrational with me, and now I feel they have her trying to take my son and I heard this from her own family, but I cannot name them as resources later on because I told them it's confident. She's not being herself and she brick-walls any attempt to fix or handle things or she hangs up. She hung up when I spoke about handling custody of our son and wouldn't agree to not seeing him but every other month. I love him too much and plan to fight for her to move back down to her father's here in Florida so we can do a bi-weekly custody. They just moved to a bigger house in GA and have yet to get me a contact number so I keep calling the old number. I can't get a hold of any of them and she has yet to call me and I keep hearing that she's with another guy who's talking her into doing it and that I believe is saying things to scare her into believing that I'll take him. I want it fair for our child and both parties. Now I hear things like she might be planning to not call and just to come get him and leave. I want to work this out in a civil manner because we both love him and it's not fair to him to be drug through this. She's supposed to show up on my birthday for her stuff and our child (April 10th).
    Questions:
    Did her leaving the state constitute as abandonment?
    Does possession of the child mean I have him until other legal arrangements are made and can I keep him here so she doesn't run off with my son to god knows where?
    What are some things I can do about all of this?
    What does temporary residential custody do and what does it take to get it?

    Any info would be great.. Thanks!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,867

    Default Re: Broke Up and She Refuses to Work Out Custody

    Did her leaving the state constitute as abandonment?
    in itself, no


    Does possession of the child mean I have him until other legal arrangements are made and can I keep him here so she doesn't run off with my son to god knows where?
    no

    What are some things I can do about all of this?
    go to court for an order of custody and visitation

    W
    hat does temporary residential custody do and what does it take to get it?
    it gives one party temporary residential custody until the courts can make a permanent order. File for temp custody when you file for the permanent stuff.


    Curious: has paternity ever been legally established? If not, all this is moot and it is her child only until such time paternity is established.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Broke Up and She Refuses to Work Out Custody

    So she can just come take him from my hands but I can't take him right back? I don't get why I should have to let my son go back with her to that life of scum she calls her family.

    I plan to talk to a lawyer tomorrow, but I'm not sure what to do while she's gone.

    I don't get how I could prove paternity. I'm his father we both know it and I was there at the hospital when he was born and I've put a roof over his head and food in his mouth. How can she be proven he's hers and I can't?

    I don't plan to release my child to her until she decides to rationally sit down and work out a custody plan with me. A legal one drawn from a lawyer.

    What are some things I have to do to do this?

    What does it take to call it child abandonment?

    What other laws might I use to help me out.

    I love my son dearly and she's being manipulated into taking him from me. I'm just totally blown away by all this and the fact that you're saying I can't do anything if she comes. No offense to you of course. I'm just extremely scared and hurt. This isn't a family dog or gravy boat.. This is MY SON.

    I NEED TO ACT FAST AND I NEED A PLAN OF SOME SORT OR I RISK LOSING HIM.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,867

    Default Re: Broke Up and She Refuses to Work Out Custody

    I don't get how I could prove paternity. I'm his father we both know it and I was there at the hospital when he was born and I've put a roof over his head and food in his mouth. How can she be proven he's hers and I can't?
    You're kidding, right? A child that came from her body and you question the child being hers?



    Did you sign an affidavit of paternity and is your name on the birth certificate?

    If not and if you have not been legally established to be the father via a paternity test, you have no rights to the child until such time it is proven. You will have to file for a paternity test (DNA) with the courts. Until that time, the child is hers and hers alone.

    I don't plan to release my child to her until she decides to rationally sit down and work out a custody plan with me.
    Not real smart if you are not the legally accepted father (as in one of the methods noted above). That would be called kidnapping and could result with your spending some time away from not only your child but everybody.

    What does it take to call it child abandonment?
    generally no contact or effort to provide any support for greater than a year.

    This is MY SON.
    then prove it.

    I NEED TO ACT FAST AND I NEED A PLAN OF SOME SORT OR I RISK LOSING HIM.
    If you are going to need a DNA test, it will not be fast enough to prevent mom from taking her child in April. It just isn't possible to be completed that fast.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Broke Up and She Refuses to Work Out Custody

    This hurts bad, man. This guy's gonna take my kid away. She's in an emotional state right now to see what he's doing. It's not his. This isn't right at all.

    Say I got the DNA testing willingly instead of through the court and presented that and bought some extra time to get results back (products offering 3-5 business day for the time it arrives and I can overnight it via UPS or FedEx). Then what?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Toledo, OH
    Posts
    16,307

    Default Re: Broke Up and She Refuses to Work Out Custody

    Then nothing. They're not court approved. You NEED to do it through the courts. Truthfully, this all should have been done right when the child was born, to ensure legal recognition of your parental rights.

    Right now, you don't have ANY, and you won't until the court recognizes you as the legal father.

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