Here's the deal. Quit being a "friend" and be a PARENT.

First off: Counseling. Sounds like you both need it. She obviously has a problem with shoplifting. You have a problem controlling your child.

You need to establish rules. You need to enforce grounding.

Grounding: No phone, no cell phone, no computer, no PlayStation, no friends over, so Prom, no middle school athletics or extracurricular activities.

She sneaks out? How about doing random checks on her at night? Make it so she knows you can AND WILL enter her room in the middle of the night, at random times, and she best be there, in bed, or she will be grounded.

You could also drive her to school and pick her up from school. Or even get a Babysitter for after school. Embarassing, yes. But it gives you tabs on her.

Keep letting her walk all over you, sneak out, etc...you may find yourself not only with a kid with a criminal record, you may find yourself raising your grandchild also.

PS: Suggestion....make your kid pay her criminal fines, even if it means she has to sell favored items to do so. When she has to pay that fine, it will be a nice little wake-up call.

Part 2:
This is how I was raised.

I was a LatchKey kid. We did not have cell phones back then. I had to call my mom and work and let her know I was home. She could ask a neighbor to verify I was home. She could call at any random time and I had better answer that phone!

When I moved in with my grandparents:
- They knew if I got up to pee at 2:09 am.
- They knew my friends and my friends parents. They knew WHO I was with, WHAT we were doing, WHEN, WHY, HOW.
- When I got my drivers license and used the car...I had to pay my own insurance, gas, maintenance. They also checked the mileage. If I said I was going to Meijer, there better be only 10 miles on the car when I returned.
- Friends were welcomed over. Bedroom door open.
- When I started working...they would either stop in and "shop", or call and verify that I was at work.

Strict? Yes. Maybe overprotective.

But...I never got into any trouble. I did not end up like some of my peers - dropping out of school, getting into drugs/booze, and I was not a pregnant teenager.

I knew I would be grounded, and it would be MISERABLE and all privileges would have to be earned back.