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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
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    3

    Default 2nd/3rd Offense in Shoplifting

    My question involves criminal law for the state of: New Jersey
    My daughter was caught shoplifting for the 2nd/3rd time. She is 14 years old. She stole from 2 places the first time but was only really charged at Macy's-so far. This happened about last moth. The items she stole was $15 from Macy's and $100 from Bloomingdales.
    I had to pay a $150 fine.
    Today, she was caught shoplifting at Spencer's. This case was sort of special though. She helped her friend steal a shirt by ripping off the tag and stuffing it in her friends bag. She wasn't charged with anything yet but she has to go to court.
    What's the worst thing that could happen? Will this be put on her record or ruin her life? Additional information would be great.

    Also, where do you suggest I get a good lawyer?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Inland Empire
    Posts
    1,410

    Default Re: 2nd/3rd Offense in Shoplifting

    Quote Quoting starster
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    My question involves criminal law for the state of: New Jersey
    My daughter was caught shoplifting for the 2nd/3rd time. She is 14 years old. She stole from 2 places the first time but was only really charged at Macy's-so far. This happened about last moth. The items she stole was $15 from Macy's and $100 from Bloomingdales.
    I had to pay a $150 fine.
    Today, she was caught shoplifting at Spencer's. This case was sort of special though. She helped her friend steal a shirt by ripping off the tag and stuffing it in her friends bag. She wasn't charged with anything yet but she has to go to court.
    What's the worst thing that could happen? Will this be put on her record or ruin her life? Additional information would be great.

    Also, where do you suggest I get a good lawyer?

    This is her third time getting caught for this crime and she is only 14 ~ she's very close to getting her name engraved on her own jail cell.

    Why are you still letting her out of the house?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: 2nd/3rd Offense in Shoplifting

    I told her she should stay at home more often but she doesn't really listen. It doesn't help that the mall is very close to her school (walking distance) so most times she stays after school to go the mall without notifying me.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Inland Empire
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    1,410

    Default Re: 2nd/3rd Offense in Shoplifting

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    I told her she should stay at home more often but she doesn't really listen. It doesn't help that the mall is very close to her school (walking distance) so most times she stays after school to go the mall without notifying me.
    Are you her parent If so, might I suggest some parent classes.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
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    3

    Default Re: 2nd/3rd Offense in Shoplifting

    ...
    I really don't understand why all I'm getting is negative comments about parenting. I wanted advice about my daughter's situation.

    If you're such a great parent why don't you tell me what to do.
    -I've asked nicely
    -I've tried grounding: she sneaks out
    -I've tried picking her up at school, she finds ways to avoid me.
    -I've talked to teachers.
    -I've asked her friends if they could send her home.
    Heck, I've tried every non-violent thing I could think of.

  6. #6

    Default Re: 2nd/3rd Offense in Shoplifting

    As the parent of 10, I've learned:

    Asking nicely only works if there is respect.
    Asking friends is useless.
    Grounding doesn't work unless it means something (and that includes ALL privileges... we are only REQUIRED to feed them, clothe them and provide them shelter.... and that doesn't include McD's, GAP or a mansion!)
    If she avoids you at school, then sit in the classroom with her (they REALLY hate it, but thats ok).

    I'm the 'mean' mom, and that's ok with me. If one of my kids needs 24/7, so shall it be. Super glue has nothing on me. I can stand outside the bathroom door, I can go to classes with you (and have), I can be you new 'best' friend. If thats what it takes to make you behave, that is what has to be done. It doesn't have to be violent, but it CAN be embarrassing and unpleasant. Just ask my kids. Need tips? Just ask... with kids from 32 down to 6, I've got all the tricks down. *wink*

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    9,096

    Default Re: 2nd/3rd Offense in Shoplifting

    Quote Quoting starster
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    ...
    I really don't understand why all I'm getting is negative comments about parenting. I wanted advice about my daughter's situation.

    If you're such a great parent why don't you tell me what to do.
    -I've asked nicely
    -I've tried grounding: she sneaks out
    -I've tried picking her up at school, she finds ways to avoid me.
    -I've talked to teachers.
    -I've asked her friends if they could send her home.
    Heck, I've tried every non-violent thing I could think of.
    Here is the thing.

    Your daughter is going to get the book thrown at her. These charges will not be deferred and will haunt her the rest of her life.

    A judge may even decide that a little time in juvy is worth considering... because your daughter doesn't seem capable of taking a hint.

    She is screaming for help.

    You keep saying you "tried" this and "asked" that. I don't care if it involves taking her shoes... you get the two of you in therapy and start setting some rules.

    You stop asking and trying.

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