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  1. #1
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    Jan 2009
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    Default What Are My Chances in My Child Custody Case

    I am writing this from PA.

    I am going for custody of my son. now his mother blantantly disobeyed the court order and set her own guidelines of me seeing my son. She must meet my girlfreind and only after that will she allow my son two weeks in the summer with me. well she never met her and i saw my son like two weekends. then she allowed me to see him for a few weekends into the school year and then bam! she started again, i let her have him for thanksgiving and then the next weekend i was getting married and wanted him then but it was a no go with her. so then i went on my honeymoon and came back and tried to get my son and again a no go.....but this time she left a nasty message on my cell phone saying she doesnt want me to come and get him and that she doesnt want me around and neither does he and when i want to act right she will think about letting him come see me. i have this all recorded. She already had a contempt case against her from this in the past, yet here we are again. her family blocks me from getting my son also. i get abusive and nasty texts that i still have, saying that i no kind of father when i try to state to her that my son is very unhappy and close to depressed. i know this because he only talks to me and will say that he cant talk to his mother. I try to pass the info along to her only for her to tell me im not a good father.

    I am not sure what the factors are in the state of pennsylvania for modification of custody, but just a few things about me the comparisons.....i have lower crime rates, own my home, superior school district, enrichment programs, self employed,no history of substance abuse, stable household(with me, my wife and daughter), my wife has an excellent backround,financially stable, and postive male perspective, i will also let him stay in contact with his mother.
    She has...high murder rates, lives with her parents(mom,dad,son,daughter and herself)and they rent the house,philadelphia school district(that speaks for itself),she doesnt let him go outside to hang with freinds at 14 because of the crime rate, she drinks but doesnt get terribly drunk, but her dad smokes and my son has asthma,her mom is retired and dad has no job, she has a problem letting me see or speak to him when i want or when the court says so.

    So my chances are?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Custody Case Coming Up. My Chances Are

    What has changed in your child's circumstance to justify a modification of custody?

    Have you been filing contempt each and every time she's withheld visitation?

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Custody Case Coming Up. My Chances Are

    well he wants to live with me, he seems depressed and she wont get him help because she doesn't believe in it. he is not doing good in school and he has no fear of consqeunce since he doesnt listen to her. He constantly lets her know hes bigger than her and that she cant hurt him. I got married and am now self employed and can make my own hours so i can spend more time with him. i can put him in program so he can have goals in life rather than just sitting on a couch and playing video game.
    There is really no change of circumstance but there is a benefit to living with me the will be in the best interest of the child.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Custody Case Coming Up. My Chances Are

    Quote Quoting pralims
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    well he wants to live with me, he seems depressed and she wont get him help because she doesn't believe in it.

    Has he been diagnosed with any depressive disorder? Is he talking to his school counselor?

    he is not doing good in school and he has no fear of consqeunce since he doesnt listen to her. He constantly lets her know hes bigger than her and that she cant hurt him.
    And what are YOU doing about this obvious lack of respect for his mother?


    I got married and am now self employed and can make my own hours so i can spend more time with him. i can put him in program so he can have goals in life rather than just sitting on a couch and playing video game.
    There is really no change of circumstance but there is a benefit to living with me the will be in the best interest of the child.

    You will, as a rule, be required to prove a change of circumstance.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Custody Case Coming Up. My Chances Are

    he doesnt have a school counselor to speak with, and i want to have him speak to a therapist.
    Thing is I corrected him in the past about the disrespect of his mother, but then she turns right around a disrespects me so then he in return disrespect her. but he would never speak to me sideways, and she doesnt lke it.
    this change of circumstance thing is the chunk of ice that could sink my titanic.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Custody Case Coming Up. My Chances Are

    Quote Quoting pralims
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    he doesnt have a school counselor to speak with, and i want to have him speak to a therapist.
    Thing is I corrected him in the past about the disrespect of his mother, but then she turns right around a disrespects me so then he in return disrespect her. but he would never speak to me sideways, and she doesnt lke it.
    this change of circumstance thing is the chunk of ice that could sink my titanic.

    I'm not even sure you had a canoe, let alone a Titanic. Sorry, but it is what it is.

    With that said...how old is your son?

  7. #7

    Default Re: Custody Case Coming Up. My Chances Are

    You have a change in circumstance in that his grades are suffering. He's 14, his opinion isn't going to decide anything, but would be considered. So, his advancing age and falling grades are what you go with. You could <maybe> have a compelling argument in that he's reaching an age where his interaction with his father is going to affect the kind of man grows into. Make sure that yours is not the "fun" and permissive household. If so, his desire to live with you will not be viewed to be in his best interests.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Custody Case Coming Up. My Chances Are

    Quote Quoting pralims
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    he is not doing good in school
    implies the assertion about grades that I made earlier. However, pralims, I noticed you didn't answer Dogmatique when asked if you've been making any type of legal response to your son's mother withholding visitation.

    I would also urge you to consult with a lawyer. You are claiming that you would provide better access of the mother to your son than she has, through her past behavior, provided access to you. An attorney could help you construct a plan to put yourself in the best possible position to start a modification process.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Custody Case Coming Up. My Chances Are

    thank you guys for your help.....
    his grades are indeed suffering because his mother is ok with him getting c's and d's when in my household nothing less than a b is tolerated amd thats even pushing it. His mother says that his grades are ok....but he doesnt try until the end of the year when threatened with flunking the grade. she doesnt punish him and only wants to buy him things. I am very hard on my kids to do well and the house motto is work hard, play hard. so it may seem like fun but you have to work for the fun. i mean even socially...he cant leave the house...can you imagine a 14yr old not leaving the house without an adult and that only to go to the store and not to play or anything.

    But thank you guys...i have contacted an attorney an will let you guys know what happened.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Custody Case Coming Up. My Chances Are

    Quote Quoting pralims
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    thank you guys for your help.....
    his grades are indeed suffering because his mother is ok with him getting c's and d's when in my household nothing less than a b is tolerated amd thats even pushing it. His mother says that his grades are ok....but he doesnt try until the end of the year when threatened with flunking the grade. she doesnt punish him and only wants to buy him things. I am very hard on my kids to do well and the house motto is work hard, play hard. so it may seem like fun but you have to work for the fun. i mean even socially...he cant leave the house...can you imagine a 14yr old not leaving the house without an adult and that only to go to the store and not to play or anything.

    But thank you guys...i have contacted an attorney an will let you guys know what happened.


    But have his grades CHANGED? And you understand that for some kids, even when doing their best, a B just isn't attainable?

    You have to be reasonable here.

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