My question involves child support in the State of: Tennessee
I have full custody of our 2 sons, ages 14 and 17. (My ex also has an 11 year old daughter from his 2nd marriage; he has joint custody of her.)
My ex-husband is wanting to have his child support modified because our youngest son, who is 14, has stayed with him 3 out of the last 4 weeks. (They go hunting and fishing after school, etc.) My ex says this constitutes as our son "living with him". This son has not decided if he wants to live with his dad full time, me full time, or split 50/50 (every other week). My ex is trying to bully me into writing a letter to the local child support office stating that our son now lives with him (this in order to start the process for modification of support. He says he 'needs' the money and 'needs' it to stop being taken out of his check every week as soon as possible). I am unwilling to do that until our son makes up his mind as to what he wants to do. My ex says if I don't write the letter, he will do it the 'hard way' - which I guess means get a lawyer and take me to court. In the 13 years since our divorce became final, he has never gotten the boys consistently, as allowed by the divorce papers (every other weekend, three weeks in the summer, etc.). He has never paid child support according to what was set in our divorce papers and is currently approximately $2500.00 in arrears (he didn't pay anything for almost a year). He is supposed to pay all medical which is not covered by insurance as well as carry them on his insurance - both things he has not done (he, at one time, paid their medical but has never paid the non-covered liabilities). I never pushed these issues as I'd rather deal with my ex as little as possible. According to the last wage assessment sheets drawn up a year ago, we sit at a 57% (me) to 43% (him) ratio...these numbers are based on a lesser paying job than he currently has now. He has stated on several occassions that if child support wasn't automatically being taken from his paycheck, "I wouldn't see a dime from him."
Here are the scenarios I am looking at and need answered please:
A. Will I be required to give up full custody?
B. If the youngest son chooses to live with his dad full time, will child support be null and void (neither of us pay) since one son lives with me and one with him? Will my ex then be responsible for paying tuition to keep our son in the city school system? (I live in the city, ex does not.) Will I then have to pay him child support for the youngest, once our oldest son turns 18 and "ages out"? Also, in TN, does he have to pay CS up until the age of 18 or upon High School graduation? (or is that contingent with whatever was drawn up in the divorce papers?)
C. If my son chooses to live with us both 50/50, how is support affected? Tuition?
D. At my son's age (14), does it do me any good to fight to keep him in my home? Is it his choice no, matter what? My ex lives with his mother and stepfather; he does not pay rent or any living expenses that I am aware of....my sons do not have their own bed or room to sleep in when they do visit (nor does their half sister). My ex has also been violent to me and our oldest son in the past (oldest son and his dad rarely speak due to this)...the police, both city and county, have been involved. My youngest son also made the statement to me that "if his dad didn't have to pay child support, he could afford to 'live'"...wonder where he heard that from?? (can grounds be made that he is somehow unfit?)
E. If he does get a lawyer and we go to court, can any of the past issues be brought into play now? (non payment of their non-covered medical expenses - I have 13 years of receipts!, not paying what the divorce papers stated he had to, etc.)
F. If there is anything I have not asked about, but should be aware of, please let me know.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and hopfully reply; and apologies for it being so lengthy.

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