Hello,
I recently was in a grocery store and purchased my medication from the pharmacy. Then I went to the beauty products aisles and concealed 28 dollars worth of merchandise, in my bag. I left the store quickly and was apprehended by three men who led me to the merchandise recovery room. At first they were very aggressive but then I started shaking uncontrollably and crying because I was dumfounded at myself, why did I do this? They kept asking me if I had drugs in my bag or a previous criminal record. They said, what are you so upset about? Wow, what was I upset about???? Oh, I felt so guilty and weird and not myself. A policeman came and charged me with Retail Fraud III. The store guys took a picture of me. My court date is May 10. I don't know what to do!!
--I had just started taking a new medication, not that it excuses me, but I think it must have had something to do with what happened. Because this is not me. At all. For more background, I was unemployed at the time, and my first day of work was coming up. My boyfriend of four years, for whom I moved here to Portland, Oregon from small town Maine, was verbally abusive. I was in a lot of pain (still am) because, as it turns out, I have some kind of a tumor. I was totally out of it. (I still am pretty out of it, but I have a good job at a hospital, with insurance for my health issues, and I'm better off for my boyfriend leaving. ) I have been going to church again. I am trying to figure out why I would do such a thing.
Anyway, I still don't have much money and would likely qualify for a court-appointed lawyer. Should I get one? Should I send a money order to Theft Talk, an organization that counsels people who shoplift, for an online class? The store and has since sent a demand letter for $250 and the $28 dollars. I have called them but they haven't called back. I will make a payment plan with them asap.
Though I'm practically numb with guilt, I really don't think it's appropriate somehow for this to be on my record--- and I need to know how to explain to the judge why this is so. I am prepared for the worst consequences, however. I did a bad thing.
I have never committed a crime. I was a journalist and knew all the police and sheriff's men in the small town I came from. This is so out of character! I want to show the owners of the store that I care. That I'm repentant. I'm writing them a letter. It's all so terrible. I don't know what I can do that would or could matter at this point. Please help me figure out what to do next. I have no idea.

