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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
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    Default How Can I Protect My Unborn Child from Father Establishing Paternity and Threatening

    My question involves paternity law for the State of: Florida

    I've been on and off with my ex for three years, during one of these breaks I was seeing someone else then got back with my ex, I am now pregnant and not sure who the father is. The other man and I came to an agreement that we wouldn't test for DNA because he's happy with his life and I can raise my child on my own, but my ex is threatening that if the baby is his he will take me to court, spend all his money and fight to take my unborn son from me.

    My ex has had domestic violence charges against him, I was to much of a coward to ever file a report when it mattered, but I am going to file one now because I am scared for my child's life and mine and want documentation, he tried to get me to abort my child numerous times, has been physically, mentally and emotionally abusive towards me several times, sends me naked pictures of the girls he's having sex with, has a drinking problem and says things like 'I'm embeded into him', 'he 'see's me', 'I am under his skin' and 'will come for me', he's scaring me, I can't seem to get rid of him and now that their is a little life involved I'm afraid it's only going to get worse. He's already said that the baby isn't his and he doesn't want it, told everyone I'm a whore and it's not his, but now that he's found out it's a boy he wants custody and the baby to have his last name, I told him I'm not married so the baby will have my name and I'm not doing a DNA test because I don't want him involved, his response 'Bitch I'll make sure I have a say, see you in court, f**k off Cunt'. He also tried to force me to get an amnio to establish paternity now, which they were going to do because of test results showing a possiblity of downsyndrome, which he asked me to abort again (results show baby is fine though) I refused to get amnio because of miscarriage risk which has made things worse.

    Sorry for all the info and language, but it's important for some history for a better response of what legal rights I may have or not, so after all that, I need to know can he force me to do a paternity test? Can he force me to change the baby's last name if it is indeed his? and what's the possibility of him getting custody with his history? I fear that I already know the answer but any legal information would really help!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Toledo, OH
    Posts
    16,307

    Default Re: How Can I Protect My Unborn Child from Father Establishing Paternity and Threaten

    You are documenting all of this, yes? And are filing for a restraining order, yes?

    If not, do that.

    Yes, he can sue to establish legal paternity. Then he'll have to pursue visitation. But take the baby entirely? No, he'd have to prove you unfit, and given what you've written here...not likely.

    He can't do ANYTHING until after the child is born, so in the meantime, get your duckies in a row. File for a restraining order. Document, document, document. And get thee to an attorney.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: How Can I Protect My Unborn Child from Father Establishing Paternity and Threaten

    One thing.

    Dad doesn't necessarily have to prove mom to be unfit to obtain custody.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: How Can I Protect My Unborn Child from Father Establishing Paternity and Threaten

    Yes I've went through all my old calendar journals and written every incident down to file a report, I've contacted the officer his ex girlfriend filed a report with because she already told him about me and the pregnancy and knows the situation. I do intend on filing a restraining order as well.

    Thank you so much for the information, I'll be sure to get everything together in the next six months I have until giving birth so I am prepared for whatever may happen, thanks again.

    Can you elaborate on not having to prove mother unfit to obtain custody? How does that work?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,867

    Default Re: How Can I Protect My Unborn Child from Father Establishing Paternity and Threaten

    a father has as much right to custody of a child as the mother does. A court will look at the situation and make a determination in the best interest of the child.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,773

    Default Re: How Can I Protect My Unborn Child from Father Establishing Paternity and Threaten

    Quote Quoting mami21405
    View Post
    My question involves paternity law for the State of: Florida

    I've been on and off with my ex for three years, during one of these breaks I was seeing someone else then got back with my ex, I am now pregnant and not sure who the father is. The other man and I came to an agreement that we wouldn't test for DNA because he's happy with his life and I can raise my child on my own, but my ex is threatening that if the baby is his he will take me to court, spend all his money and fight to take my unborn son from me.

    My ex has had domestic violence charges against him, I was to much of a coward to ever file a report when it mattered, but I am going to file one now because I am scared for my child's life and mine and want documentation, he tried to get me to abort my child numerous times, has been physically, mentally and emotionally abusive towards me several times, sends me naked pictures of the girls he's having sex with, has a drinking problem and says things like 'I'm embeded into him', 'he 'see's me', 'I am under his skin' and 'will come for me', he's scaring me, I can't seem to get rid of him and now that their is a little life involved I'm afraid it's only going to get worse. He's already said that the baby isn't his and he doesn't want it, told everyone I'm a whore and it's not his, but now that he's found out it's a boy he wants custody and the baby to have his last name, I told him I'm not married so the baby will have my name and I'm not doing a DNA test because I don't want him involved, his response 'Bitch I'll make sure I have a say, see you in court, f**k off Cunt'. He also tried to force me to get an amnio to establish paternity now, which they were going to do because of test results showing a possiblity of downsyndrome, which he asked me to abort again (results show baby is fine though) I refused to get amnio because of miscarriage risk which has made things worse.

    Sorry for all the info and language, but it's important for some history for a better response of what legal rights I may have or not, so after all that, I need to know can he force me to do a paternity test? Can he force me to change the baby's last name if it is indeed his? and what's the possibility of him getting custody with his history? I fear that I already know the answer but any legal information would really help!
    First, there is only 1 way to absolutely prevent him from filing to establish paternity, and that would be to have an abortion.

    He cannot file anything until the baby is born, but once the baby is born he has the legal right to file to establish paternity.

    You should have called the police at the time the DV incidents happened. Since you didn't do so, your list of incidents isn't going to get you a restraining order. Before you can get an order you will need to prove that he has recently, (within the last 2 days) threatened physical harm, or has physically harmed you.
    Calling you obscene names, trying to force you to get an abortion, threatening to get custody, saying he's going to force you to chamge baby's name are not illegal or threatening.

    For now, just tell him that you don't want to speak to him and that he is free to file a paternity suit as soon as the baby is born. Then, begin to document any unwanted contact or threats by calling the police at the time.

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