Bravo! Glad, things worked out for you!
Bravo! Glad, things worked out for you!
Thank you for sharing your story. I was caught shoplifting last week and am currently wait for the civil claim which I was told by the man might be pursued into a criminal crime if the store decided to. For the past week since that day I have been reading every thread on this forum, trying to learn as much as I can about what is to happen to me if i do have to go to court but yet too ashamed to share my experience. Reading your post was somewhat of a comfort to me to know that it is possible to get out of this mess we've made of ourselves and learn from it.
So much of what you wrote of your experience perfectly describes the situation I am in. I have never stolen before that day last week but ever since I was 10 and accidentally walked out of a store in a hair clip I had tried on and forgot about, I have found myself noticing certain items in stores and thinking, "it would be so easy to take that...". At that time however, I realized I still had the hair clip on and ran in from the parking lot to return it but the thought stay with me...I knew it was an unhealthy mentality to have, cataloging things into "easy to steal" and "too obvious" or "security tag attached" but the compulsion to try it was what ruined me last week.
I drove to the store that morning simply with the intent to shoplift. I didn't have anything in mind and didn't even need anything but that didn't stop me from ignoring my screaming conscience and stealing a bunch of small items (from my mental "easy to steal" list). I also bought some things so that I'd have a shopping bag to carry but obviously I hadn't thought it through as well as I thought I did because I got caught. I don't think this scene has stopped replaying in my mind since that day...I remember holding my breath the entire walk out the store and just when I'd made it to the edge of the parking lot, a man ran up to me: "hey there, lemme see what's in your bag." I knew that was it for me right there. I must have stood there staring at the lp for a good long minute in gaping horror because he had on this expectant sneer like he was waiting for me to bolt so he can chase me down. Because denial is what is expected of thieves. And now I am one.
It never occurred to me to deny it though and after looking desperately at anywhere but him, I just said, "I did it." He sighed and said "come on" and lead me to another doorway in the store that lead to a room with a bunch of security cameras where he'd apparently been keeping track of my progress throughout the aisles. He even made small talk, asking me if I did this often but as my mind was cursing me out in self disgust, I just blindly followed him in and emptied my handbag. It was a lot of stuff and as I was taking them all out it actually surprised me to realized that I'd actually stolen mostly travel sized items and half of them were $1. Travel sized baby wipes, toothbrush, medicine holder, vitamins...I couldn't even use any of of these things anyway but yet I stole them. I stole. I think that was the reason why the man wasn't as harsh as I felt like I deserved. I remember repeating, in a very clear and (falsely) calm voice, over and over to him: "I stole." It must have been at least 20-25 little items that totaled over $100. He told me I was lucky he wasn't calling the cops and I wasn't even properly relieved to hear that since by now I'd progressed into numbness. He checked if I was in the system and I told him it was my first time. He was disbelieving because of the amount I dared to take. He had me fill out some form that even till now I don't know what it was...admission of guilt perhaps?
He explained that I was to wait for them to send me something in the mail for me to pay and that if I paid it, then it would be alright. He told me he was letting me off easy since I didn't try to lie to him. It puzzled me that anyone would try to lie once they got caught. Stealing. I didn't know I was excused and just sat there until he said: "What? Unless you want me to call the police?" No. No police. Please. The walk across the parking lot felt like a spotlight was trained on me and I could just about imagine "shoplifter" was labeled on my expression.
For the past week I've stayed home whenever I could just thinking about what I've brought on myself. I knew and feared that if the store decided to pursue criminal charges this could go on my record and I could be ruined for life. I mean, who would want to hire a shoplifter? Who would want to befriend one? I know I will never even think about stealing again but who is going to believe a thief? Its going to be long time before I can face the world and not feel so much like dirt.
The man told me that as long as I paid the claim and stayed clean then there would be no additional legal issues from the store but reading all the stories on this forum about the possible criminal charges that might be filed, I am doubtful I would get off with just the fine. The monetary total for the items were over $100. Naturally all I want is to cooperate, pay the fine, learn from this and put it behind me but a big part of me knows I deserve to be pursued further. I mean the store can't afford to just let thieves simply pay a fine and be done with it right? With the way I'm feeling now, I am going to be agonizing over this for a good long time. The fear and shame is enough to haunt me for the rest of my life. I know I am still a long way from getting through this but again I appreciate you telling us your story so that I can get this out also. Reading it has help me deal with this a little bit better and hopefully I can find a way to resolve my situation as best as a can, both legally and with myself.
I really glad to hear that my story put you at ease somewhat. It really is an eye-opening experience, and it took me a while to forgive myself, i mean REALLY forgive myself and accept that fact that i'm a GOOD person that just made a mistake. We are all capable of correcting them! The real problem, I think, is when people recognize they have a problem and chose not to correct it. And believe me, i'm almost complete with my community service days, and during those days i met a lot of people who committed some really STUPID acts, and i felt as if i was the only one there that was truly repentant of what I have done. So you are already ahead of most people, I think! Don't be so hard on yourself, if only for that reason.
It looks as if you have done a lot of research about this so far, and that's really good! So have I.. if the LP said he wasn't calling the cops, chances are he really wasn't going to. I mean, as we have heard before on this forum "we can't predict the future" but I think the chances are slim. You feel as if you should be punished further because you feel guilty- that's good. Guilt is a strong tool to use for your benefit. One of the main reasons i will never shoplift again is because I realize now that no item, no amount of money saved is worth my peace of mind. After my case is dismissed, i'm a free person. I have no record. I can apply for jobs and say i've never been convicted of anything. I can go into a store and know i won't steal, and know no one will stop me on the way out! That's priceless.
Just think about it this way- if you do, one day get that letter in the mail from the courts to summon you- at least judging by the way you speak you know you would be able to handle it with grace and dignity and truly be regretful of your actions. And this won't ruin your life! Look at me. I went through the process, and by August, given I don't get into trouble (and i won't!) my case is dismissed. I never had a mug shot or fingerprints. I have no record. THIS IS POSSIBLE. To learn to forgive yourself. Breathe. Relax and learn. That's all you can do, and I promise it will get easier.