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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    7

    Default My Story, from Beginning to (Kinda) End

    This is very long- but worth a read if you have time. If you are interested in the legal process and what happens, it may be useful.
    (Forgive the dramatics- it’s just the way I think)

    I would like to recite the details of my experiences purely for the benefit it might have on people that may be in a similar situation. I used the forum quite a bit in the beginning, and told myself that I would later detail everything that happened to me so that I might be able to ease a troubled mind or prevent a troubled mind from going somewhere where it really should not. I supposed if someone came to me and said that something like this could happen, it would really put things in perspective early on, and maybe prevented me from stealing. I know it’s sad to think that I would NEED that, I consider myself an intelligent person, but we all make mistakes. So- my story. All truth.
    Ever since I was young I stole. Small things. I remember the moment I stole something over $5. I told myself I would never steal cloths/from certain stores/with anyone else. Needless to say I kept graduating to bigger and better things. Bigger and better stores. To the point where I would steal just to steal. Everything- food, cloths, cosmetics. Now I need to point out, friends would consider me a “normal” person. In fact, I don’t drink, never did drugs. I work a 9-5 job. Have a B.S. Lots of friends. Functional. But here I was, stealing EVERY DAY sometimes several times a day. I even remember telling myself that I would never be able to stop- unless someone stopped me.
    And someone did.
    I was at a local clothing chain on my lunch break… to steal. Now this was normal for me at the time. I had done this many times before. I tried to steal a pair of shoes, a couple of shirts, a skirt, lotion.. I don’t even remember what. I remember not even trying to hide the fact that I was stealing, which was strange. Usually I took a little care at least, but not this time.
    As I was exiting, I did the usual “pretend I’m talking on the phone” thing, I don’t know why I thought that made me look less guilty.. I’m almost to me car when I hear a women yell after me. “Excuse me, miss!” I saw her out of the corner of my eye and just assumed that I had dropped my wallet, because she was holding some sort of wallet. Little did I know that it was an L.P Officer badge.
    I totally freaked out, I didn’t even know how to handle myself. She said I had to come with her, I knew why. I said some bull about having left my wallet in the car. Out comes the store manager. He was funny, you could tell he totally reveled in the fact that he was catching a shoplifter. He was very out of breath from his short jot to meet me and the LP. I imagined him imagining himself as an undercover police officer, or a vigilante. He was a smartass. But then again, I was the shoplifter- which is far more pathetic.
    When I came inside the store, the manager asked where the stolen items where, I said “my purse” and he took it from me as we walked to the back. I had a moment of panicked desperation and we walked past the check-out counter.. Still trying to talk my way out of the hopelessness, I looked at one the cashiers and said something like “I do this all time, I was just getting my wallet, she knows!” Oh. My. God. I was going crazy. I was out of my skull.
    Anyway. I was totally defeated when I came to the back. They told me where to sit down. The store manager and the LP actually turned out to be very nice to me, undeservingly. I was honest. I told them I’ve done this before. I told them I had never been caught. I told them I had my wallet. They said right away they were going to call the cops and prosecute, but I wasn’t going to go to jail. The LP was a girl who looked about my age, dressed in normal cloths so she was obviously undercover. She comforted me, I wasn’t crying or anything just clearly VERY disappointed in myself. She said since it was my first time I really had nothing to worry about- at the time I didn’t know what she meant by that, now I know she probably meant I’d get a diversion or deferred sentence, but at the time I’m thinking “oh, this case will be dismissed!”. Hah!
    I remember the panic I felt as she rang up all that I stole… at the time I had a vague idea that the more I took the worse I was off. I took about $100.00 worth of junk. Junk of course that I didn’t need, or want.
    They told me about the civil demand. They said the cops would have to come to the store because my address was wrong on my license.. but they weren’t going to arrest me, just give me a ticket. We waited for a while, and I could tell the manager was a bit impatient. I told him I have every other item of identification on me (birth certificate, ss card, school Id’s) if that would help. He looked at them and said he was satisfied that I wasn’t lying about my identity. He said I could go. It was strange how calm I became talking to them… they didn’t treat me like trash, but were very kind. I didn’t understand it, probably because I FELT like trash.
    I assumed they would walk me out, but they didn’t. It sort of felt very “to catch a predator” like, as I was walking to me car I could just see a bunch of cops waiting to pounce on me, but that didn’t happen. I went back to work. Promptly found this forum and read EVERYTHING.
    I thought for a while I could hide this from my live-in boyfriend. I contrived some sad stupid story about having to go to court because my license address was wrong and I was pulled over and it was a misdemeanor. He had to know that I was dealing with legal issues but I couldn’t bring myself to admit the sad truth. He knew I stole things in the past, but was very against the habit. Eventually the stress of the situation became too much, and I admitted to him what happened. He was very supportive, and the process of rectifying my wrongs had begun.
    I contacted everyone I knew who knew about law, was in law school, had dealt with shoplifting in the past. In actuality, most of the information I got from them, was incredibly inaccurate. The most useful information I got, was from this website. And also from contacting local criminal defense attorneys and I got that information from this forum.
    I was plunged into a very deep depression. The day I got caught, I felt like going to so many stores and stealing so much stuff. In my effed up mind, I thought “okay, I’m going to have to pay a ticket that’s $500, and civil demand that’s $200 and whatever else.. I have to go steal that amount of stuff to break even!” I know. It’s messed up. I obviously had a problem.
    Through a different shoplifting forum I heard about an anti-shoplifting course that judges may smile upon. In this forum I actually read people suggesting against it, but I decided I needed to do SOMETHING to help myself. I took the course and actually liked it quite a bit. I took the course before I got my first letter from the courts, so I didn’t send it to any judge.
    I got my first letter In December. I was caught in October. My first letter was for my arraignment, I didn’t quite know what this meant. I thought I was getting it all done at this visit. On the letter it told me what I was being charged with. RET FRD ORD.
    I found out from one of the any attorneys I spoke to that I was probably being prosecuted through the city, and even if I was convicted since it was just an ordinance violation it wouldn’t be on my record. I still don’t know how accurate that information was.
    I showed up for my arraignment beyond nervous. There were like three other people there and that’s it. I didn’t realize that all they would be doing to telling me what I was charged with and asking me to put in a plea. I, of course, stood mute and they entered a not guilty plea for me. I was given a pre-trial date.
    My pre-trial was set for about a month later- so in January I came back. Nervous again, I knew what I needed- a diversion program or a deferred sentence. I decided that if the city attorney would talk to me before hand I would mention it, but if not I was ask for a public defender.
    I was very surprised that again, there were only like three other people at my pre-trail. But.. They all had lawyers. Nerve-wracking. I sat inside the court and the assistant city-prosecutor asked me to approach him. He was so incredibly kind, I was shocked. He mentioned the deferred sentence before me! I think I said “yeah, I want that!” I’m usually rather articulate, but I noticed a trend- that whenever I was at the court I turned into a fumbling idiot.
    As I was waiting to go up, a girl turned to me (she had heard me talking to the ACA about my violation) and said she went through the deferred sentence program for shoplifting, her case was dismissed and she was fine. She was trying to comfort me! It was like a little gift from above. I was so incredibly remorseful and spent hours upon hours wishing I had never done this. Someone up there knew it.
    When I stood before the judge he asked me what happened- I was very honest. The assistant city attorney suggested to the judge a deferred sentence. What now? I wondered. The judge said sure, but that I would have to meet up with a probation officer to see if I’m even eligible. He also gave me a sentencing date, for a month later. He told me where the office was and as I left said “Good luck!” He wasn’t at all impressed with me and my crime- I felt like he thought I was wasting his time, but still was a nice guy.
    I set up a meeting with a probation officer. I felt lots better now. I knew I would qualify. I had never even had a ticket.
    I met with my him and again, sucha nice guy! I am the luckiest unlucky person I know. He interviewed my for 15 minutes about what happened, and then told me what he would suggest to the judge. I wouldn’t need to take a anti-shoplifting course because I already took one, I would have a fine of $415 plus probation costs, probation for 6 months and 3 days jail/work time (community service). Honestly about what I expected.
    My sentencing date was PACKED. I thought I would be there all day. I felt a lot better seeing my probation officer there. Most of the cases before me were ridiculous- drug convictions and DUI’s with punk kids who were refusing to take drug tests. I thought “Wow, I’m going to look like a shining star next to these punks.” I had a brief flight of fantasy thinking that the judge may take off my jail/work time.. I don’t even know why. I got up in front of him and he did the usual slap-on-the-wrist don’t ever do this again sing song. I only say this because I KNEW I had learned my lesson- good and hard. I was at first taking preventative issues to try not to shoplift (not bringing my big purse to stores, not even going to stores at all unless I’m with someone) and had just realized that my addiction was nearly completely under control. I was honestly having a hard time imagining not stealing, but now I can’t even imagine doing ANYTHING like that again. I still am careful; I still take the same measures. But all of the stress of the legal system, my own morality, the depression I went through really did a number for me in the learning my lesson department. I haven’t stole ANYTHING since the day I was caught. I know I will NEVER again, but you can’t put a price on not having to worry. I told the judge that stealing was “the worst mistake of my life.” It truly was, but I can’t so anything about it now except learn from it- and I have!
    So the judge said he would take the probation officers suggestion- I would pay $415 right then, if I complete my jail/work time in a month and not get in trouble for 6 months my case gets dismissed- no conviction!
    I have a meeting with the probation officer next week to set up my three days of work. To be honest, I’m looking forward to it. Not only to get it over with, but to savor that experience. I never want to have anything like this happen to me again, and I want to pay my debt to society. I know I am and can be a better person. Through all of this, I have to admire the legal system. It really did its job for me. It really woke me up, and to be honest saved me in a lot of ways.
    I just want people to know that even though I was incredibly LUCKY to have things go as smoothly as they possible could go in situations like this that it doesn’t always turn out like this. I wish I could talk to my past self, but I can’t- I can talk to people who are like how I was, and give them a shake of a collar and tell them “it’s not worth it! Get help! Or a hobby!” but I don’t know if that would work. It’s worth a try. All I know is that I was addicted to shoplifting. I knew it. And I even knew I wouldn’t stop until I was caught. And I was right! I was caught! And it stopped me.. I will NEVER do it again!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    6,808

    Default Re: My Story, from Beginning to (Kinda) End

    Thanks for posting your story.

    I think it's great to see what happened with someone and know how they made out. It's also great reading for someone who is going through it, give them an idea of what the process is like.

    Glad you have stopped stealing....the first experience is scary enough, I can't imagine a second....

  3. #3

    Default Re: My Story, from Beginning to (Kinda) End

    May God bless you and keep you.

    I have battled the same demon. I learned my lesson the hard way about shoplifting (stealing) and I am a better woman for it. And it sounds like you have as well. You will be OK, you will do just fine in this life. Because you "get it", you accept responsibility for your actions. That shows your outstanding character.

    Now if her brain could be "cloned" to some of these other bozos who boo hoo and post on here, blaming everyone except themselves for their troubles.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: My Story, from Beginning to (Kinda) End

    Thank you both for your comments. I do feel as if I have drastically changed for the better. I can only be thankful for the lessons that i've learned... people can change, can heal and can start a new. I can't wait to continue down the path that i've already started! It really feels great.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    9

    Default Re: My Story, from Beginning to (Kinda) End

    Bravo! Glad, things worked out for you!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    1

    Default Re: My Story, from Beginning to (Kinda) End

    Thank you for sharing your story. I was caught shoplifting last week and am currently wait for the civil claim which I was told by the man might be pursued into a criminal crime if the store decided to. For the past week since that day I have been reading every thread on this forum, trying to learn as much as I can about what is to happen to me if i do have to go to court but yet too ashamed to share my experience. Reading your post was somewhat of a comfort to me to know that it is possible to get out of this mess we've made of ourselves and learn from it.

    So much of what you wrote of your experience perfectly describes the situation I am in. I have never stolen before that day last week but ever since I was 10 and accidentally walked out of a store in a hair clip I had tried on and forgot about, I have found myself noticing certain items in stores and thinking, "it would be so easy to take that...". At that time however, I realized I still had the hair clip on and ran in from the parking lot to return it but the thought stay with me...I knew it was an unhealthy mentality to have, cataloging things into "easy to steal" and "too obvious" or "security tag attached" but the compulsion to try it was what ruined me last week.

    I drove to the store that morning simply with the intent to shoplift. I didn't have anything in mind and didn't even need anything but that didn't stop me from ignoring my screaming conscience and stealing a bunch of small items (from my mental "easy to steal" list). I also bought some things so that I'd have a shopping bag to carry but obviously I hadn't thought it through as well as I thought I did because I got caught. I don't think this scene has stopped replaying in my mind since that day...I remember holding my breath the entire walk out the store and just when I'd made it to the edge of the parking lot, a man ran up to me: "hey there, lemme see what's in your bag." I knew that was it for me right there. I must have stood there staring at the lp for a good long minute in gaping horror because he had on this expectant sneer like he was waiting for me to bolt so he can chase me down. Because denial is what is expected of thieves. And now I am one.

    It never occurred to me to deny it though and after looking desperately at anywhere but him, I just said, "I did it." He sighed and said "come on" and lead me to another doorway in the store that lead to a room with a bunch of security cameras where he'd apparently been keeping track of my progress throughout the aisles. He even made small talk, asking me if I did this often but as my mind was cursing me out in self disgust, I just blindly followed him in and emptied my handbag. It was a lot of stuff and as I was taking them all out it actually surprised me to realized that I'd actually stolen mostly travel sized items and half of them were $1. Travel sized baby wipes, toothbrush, medicine holder, vitamins...I couldn't even use any of of these things anyway but yet I stole them. I stole. I think that was the reason why the man wasn't as harsh as I felt like I deserved. I remember repeating, in a very clear and (falsely) calm voice, over and over to him: "I stole." It must have been at least 20-25 little items that totaled over $100. He told me I was lucky he wasn't calling the cops and I wasn't even properly relieved to hear that since by now I'd progressed into numbness. He checked if I was in the system and I told him it was my first time. He was disbelieving because of the amount I dared to take. He had me fill out some form that even till now I don't know what it was...admission of guilt perhaps?

    He explained that I was to wait for them to send me something in the mail for me to pay and that if I paid it, then it would be alright. He told me he was letting me off easy since I didn't try to lie to him. It puzzled me that anyone would try to lie once they got caught. Stealing. I didn't know I was excused and just sat there until he said: "What? Unless you want me to call the police?" No. No police. Please. The walk across the parking lot felt like a spotlight was trained on me and I could just about imagine "shoplifter" was labeled on my expression.

    For the past week I've stayed home whenever I could just thinking about what I've brought on myself. I knew and feared that if the store decided to pursue criminal charges this could go on my record and I could be ruined for life. I mean, who would want to hire a shoplifter? Who would want to befriend one? I know I will never even think about stealing again but who is going to believe a thief? Its going to be long time before I can face the world and not feel so much like dirt.

    The man told me that as long as I paid the claim and stayed clean then there would be no additional legal issues from the store but reading all the stories on this forum about the possible criminal charges that might be filed, I am doubtful I would get off with just the fine. The monetary total for the items were over $100. Naturally all I want is to cooperate, pay the fine, learn from this and put it behind me but a big part of me knows I deserve to be pursued further. I mean the store can't afford to just let thieves simply pay a fine and be done with it right? With the way I'm feeling now, I am going to be agonizing over this for a good long time. The fear and shame is enough to haunt me for the rest of my life. I know I am still a long way from getting through this but again I appreciate you telling us your story so that I can get this out also. Reading it has help me deal with this a little bit better and hopefully I can find a way to resolve my situation as best as a can, both legally and with myself.

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