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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
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    2

    Default Non-Custodial Parent Wants Visitation Now That I Filed for Child Support

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Missouri
    My son's biological father was not in his life until he was eight by his own choice. My husband has been his father figure since he was 5mo and we have been married for 15 years with two younger sons. We have never been to court or had any custody set. He has never paid child support and I have never requested it until now. Since he was eight he has not made a big effort to spend time with him or keep in contact. My son is now 16 1/2 years old and my husabnd, son and I decided to file for child support so that he can afford to save for college, pay for his insurance, have some spending money & etc. As soon as I filed and he was notified he became upset. Now that the State of Missouri has found him to be responsible for $608.00 a month he is screaming lawyer & custody unless I agree to his terms. I have never stoped him from spending time with my son nor do I want to. But I am wondering what my rights are? Should I nogotiate with him or go straight to a lawyer. I do not and cannot afford a drugout expensive court process but am willing to do whatever I need to in the best interest of my son. Please help!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    2,031

    Default Re: Non-Custodial Parent Wants Visitation Now That I Filed for Child Support

    Quote Quoting lgcoondog
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Missouri
    My son's biological father was not in his life until he was eight by his own choice. My husband has been his father figure since he was 5mo and we have been married for 15 years with two younger sons. We have never been to court or had any custody set. He has never paid child support and I have never requested it until now. Since he was eight he has not made a big effort to spend time with him or keep in contact. My son is now 16 1/2 years old and my husabnd, son and I decided to file for child support so that he can afford to save for college, pay for his insurance, have some spending money & etc. As soon as I filed and he was notified he became upset. Now that the State of Missouri has found him to be responsible for $608.00 a month he is screaming lawyer & custody unless I agree to his terms. I have never stoped him from spending time with my son nor do I want to. But I am wondering what my rights are? Should I nogotiate with him or go straight to a lawyer. I do not and cannot afford a drugout expensive court process but am willing to do whatever I need to in the best interest of my son. Please help!
    A formal custody order is in the child's best interest. If Dad hasn't "bothered" to spend time with his child often, he probably won't even with the order.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Non-Custodial Parent Wants Visitation Now That I Filed for Child Support

    It does seem odd that he wants to spend time with him, just because you filed for support.

    Did you say anything to him before you filed? or just hit him with it?

    I know wouldn't be to happy about it, if I was just served with out warning. Not siding with him, just stating the obvious.

    I know the courts like to see people work it out, it maybe tough, but its better in the long run. No sense in some stranger getting rich off of the 2 of you not being able to work it out on your own.

    Don't make the mistake I did, file a copy with the courts.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    California
    Posts
    397

    Default Re: Non-Custodial Parent Wants Visitation Now That I Filed for Child Support

    Just do a regular court hearing about visitation. With the child being a teenager, most likely the childs wishes will be considered. If he hasn't bothered to see the child in 8 years, he'll have to prove why he hasn't and have a very good reason. Most likely, if dad continues to go thru with it, will get visitation, which could be determined if child wants to go.
    He's still responsble financially for his child, even if he didn't see him.
    You will not have a single problem... the law is on your side. Good luck!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: Non-Custodial Parent Wants Visitation Now That I Filed for Child Support

    Thanks everyone is been so helpful. I have had time to think about the whole picture. I am going to allow the Child Support office to continue with there process and if he wants to fight with them on the amount that is fine. At this point it is out of my hands. As to the visitation, my son, husband and I had a conversation last night and he wants to go visit for a few weeks but does not want to spend the summer. I have an appoitment with a lawyer about setting up visitation and will try to do what is best for my son. I think it is so sad that up till now it has been all roses for this man and now when he is asked to support his son it is all about money not about his son.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Florence, AL
    Posts
    29

    Default Re: Non-Custodial Parent Wants Visitation Now That I Filed for Child Support

    i agree with mrshiggins....the law is on your side....it is obvious him filing for visitation was just a spite thing trying to put some stress on you....and hopefuly the court will see that....if he is 16 1/2 they will probably just come out and ask your son what he wants to do....his bio-dad should help financially...

    i hae learned through the things that i have been going through tho that child support and visitation are two seperate issues and whether he gets the visitation or not he will still be responsible for paying his child support....good luck

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    California
    Posts
    397

    Default Re: Non-Custodial Parent Wants Visitation Now That I Filed for Child Support

    I honestly don't think that consulting a lawyer will be worth it. You have so much going for you with your facts and the childs age that unless you want to protest your childs wishes, there's no reason to pay for a lawyer. I would just go straight to court, saying my son wants this and that, I agree to this and see what dad says... being the child is older, there's no reason to fight anything... unless dad is WAY TOO unfit like drugs and abuse. Seriously, save the dough... My husband has been thru many lawyers and not one of them was worth it in my opinion... But good luck anyway!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    carroll, iowa
    Posts
    1

    Default Re: Non-Custodial Parent Wants Visitation Now That I Filed for Child Support

    I have somewhat of a similar situation. I have 2 year old twins and the father has not really tried to be in their lives. I also had moved to another state. I have started the filings for child supprt only because the state of Iowa tells me I must for medical insurance for myself, even though my children are covered. My children's father knows of this and he had stated that if he is made to pay child support than he will get visitation rights and thus making me move to the state he lives in. Is that possible?

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Non-Custodial Parent Wants Visitation Now That I Filed for Child Support

    Quote Quoting twinmom1230
    View Post
    I have somewhat of a similar situation. I have 2 year old twins and the father has not really tried to be in their lives. I also had moved to another state. I have started the filings for child supprt only because the state of Iowa tells me I must for medical insurance for myself, even though my children are covered. My children's father knows of this and he had stated that if he is made to pay child support than he will get visitation rights and thus making me move to the state he lives in. Is that possible?

    You won't be forced back to his state now - if he never objected to the move then, he can't hold it against you now.

    He will, however, be entitled to visitation should he file in court and at least initially he'll be expected to visit in your current home state.

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