Emancipation of 16 Year Old Where Parents Do Not Object

[winchester169]

No offense taken. I apologize. I am on several forums etc trying to find a solution and am getting frustrated. I had one where I was just verbally attacked my a mother calling me scum for trying to "evade my support obligations" so perhaps my nerves are a bit exposed.

I was sincere however when I thanked you for your effort and time.

[Dogmatique]

Um..just fyi. Most of us who post here also post on the other legal forums...

Jes' sayin'

[winchester169]

Hold on a sec.

If your child goes to live with her other parent why do you feel you should not reimburse that parent for the costs involved?

That IS what child support is for, remember...

Firstly because I have never asked for support from her. Second because I would allow my daughter to live there not because I am legally obligated to do so but because arguments over everything she wants to do and her mother allows is not conductive to a healthy parent child relationship.

I would just assume to keep her in my home by my rules (like, missing assignments or poor grades are a groundable offence, for her mom, who cares, her other three failed out of or dropped out of school) and recieve no support but that would only cause more stress for us and more opposition and damage from her mother. She suffers PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome).

I would continue to help my daughter but since I am not obligated to turn over custody I refuse to pay. I am uncertain if that makes any sense to you but to put into words my thoughts and beliefs is a bit difficult.

[Rushia]

Hold on a sec.

If your child goes to live with her other parent why do you feel you should not reimburse that parent for the costs involved?

That IS what child support is for, remember...

As soon as the mother attempts to get assistance the state is going to make Dad pay support whether he likes it or not.

OP, your options are simply to make your daughter to continue to live with you if you do not want to pay support.

If you allow your daughter to live with her mother, and she files for a custody change due to status quo then she will be entitled to support.

[Dogmatique]

Firstly because I have never asked for support from her. Second because I would allow my daughter to live there not because I am legally obligated to do so but because arguments over everything she wants to do and her mother allows is not conductive to a healthy parent child relationship.

I would just assume to keep her in my home by my rules (like, missing assignments or poor grades are a groundable offence, for her mom, who cares, her other three failed out of or dropped out of school) and recieve no support but that would only cause more stress for us and more opposition and damage from her mother. She suffers PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome).

I would continue to help my daughter but since I am not obligated to turn over custody I refuse to pay. I am uncertain if that makes any sense to you but to put into words my thoughts and beliefs is a bit difficult.

Two things.

First, the fact that you never asked Mom for support has no bearing at all on whether you should, could or would be paying Mom child support should kiddo go and live with Mom.

Second, for your own sake - drop the PAS. Seriously. PAS has been discredited by every reputable agency and authority in the country. While parental alienation is possible, if you want to use this, drop the "syndrome" part.

[LawResearcherMissy]

She and I fight daily because I do not and will not condone the lifestyle her mother chooses to allow her to live when there

Being a good parent is hard when the other parent is trying to be a buddy. Keep at it, though.

but rather than make her a prisoner in my home I feel I should let her leave, but there is no way I will pay her mother support or be responsible for the actions she and her mother choose to allow her to do that could be harmful, illegal or otherwise damaging to her and/or to me.

It doesn't work that way. Until she is 18, you're responsible for her.

Emancipation seemed from what I have read the only way. I will obviously still support my child, I will do so emotionally and financially until the day I die, but I will not pay one cent to her mother.

You will if you allow your daughter to move in with her mother, and Mama either requests support or attempts to file for government assistance. Count on it. The courts hold that children are entitled to financial support from BOTH parents. You can tell the court "No, I won't" if you want, but the court will just shrug and take steps to garnish your wages.

You're not paying Mama, you're supporting the child you helped create. That's just the way the situation rolls.

If emancipation is out, what other options do I have so that I a) do not have to pay support to her mother, b)am not responsible for her neglect resulting in unpaid bills of any sort whether medical, contractual or otherwise and c) I cannot be sued for her negligent activities such as car accidents, criminal activities or other.

You retain custody and keep a short leash on her, no matter HOW loudly she howls. It's your JOB. Yes, it's stressful and you'll fight and she'll wail and gnash her teeth and you'll want to chuck her, her mouth, and her bad attitude out into the street.

But you WON'T, because you're actually possessed of give-a-damn (else you wouldn't be here asking questions), and you'll get through it and will know - even if she leaves the instant she turns 18 - that you did right by her and did your level best to keep her safe. And eventually, she'll get her head screwed on straight and understand it, too.

Teenagers can righteously suck. I know for certain - mine are creeping up on 18 and 14. But you stay firm and do your best, and keep doing your best. It's all you can do, and it's what's right for her.