Hi,
just wanted to say there is someone in the same boat. my boyfriend gets SSI and would lose all his benefits, which he needs to survive since he has hemophilia and his blood products cost $15,000/month-------see my posting under 'disability and marriage'. just wanted to give you hope and let you know there are options such as having a commitment ceremony where it is like a wedding, just not a legal marriage. a good site for this is: unmarried.org
i know it is sad and frustrating, but don't let the government stop you from being together.
just be creative and keep hope.

