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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    1

    Default Custody Dispute After Mother Secretly Moved to Another State

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Nebraska

    I'm going early Monday to hire an attorney that I've been recommended to so I am posting here for some feedback/information and opinions regarding this issue. For starters, my son's Mother and I went through divorce in 2006 and joint physical custody was the judge's order back then where we would get equal time, week to week. Fast forward to now, our divorce process got "thrown out" by the judge (she didn't show up) one question, because the divorce got thrown out, does that too mean that our custody order was thrown out as well? (We still continued week to week like usual up until now.)

    Moving on, last March of 2009, my son's Mom told me they would be moving but didn't say exactly where. She said she was going to get a relocation petition to move and that I would have to sign it. This document never came to me whatsoever. And I never gave any kind of consent for her to move to a new state, neither was I aware of her intentions. So from March, 2009 to October, 2009, I continued picking my son up every week at the same location I have been for the past 3 years. It was until mid November that I found out she did move to another state and that my home state was actually forcing her to pay child support (albeit a small amount.)

    At that time, his Mother kept telling me to sign the waiver to drop child support or else I wouldn't see my son and because we supposedly had no custody order in place, she said there's nothing I can do about it. I then went ahead and signed whatever this paper was and had it faxed over so I could pick my son up. It was then his Mother told me I'm going to have to drive 200+ miles to pick up my son. I was angry because she never told me she moved. I was aware that she said she "might" move but I assumed it never happened due to the fact I was picking my son up from his grandmother's home like usual. The next week when she was supposed to pick him up she said she couldn't because she didn't have the money for gas to drive here.

    Now as of right now, to the best of my knowledge, she lives in a new state with her new child and her boyfriend at his parents house. As far as her boyfriend goes, he seems to me to be the violent type. He has, in the past, called me on my cell phone and made verbal threats (though I have no proof/recording or documentation to prove that) take my word for it, he has called me and made physical threats before.

    I have also noticed whenever I would pick my son up, his attitude was violent. He would be saying bad words. He even said Big Fat N-Word and I asked him where he heard that. He said "Mommy said it." I was furious about it and I still am. To be brief, I kept my son with me after I had picked him up in her new home state, that until we have legal documentation over this situation, I will not allow you to have him in your new home state. She was furious and actually showed up at my house numerous times even when I wasn't home.

    2 1/2 months pass by, and his Mother isn't making any attempt to call or see our son. She randomly shows up at my house a few times in the beginning of January. And now, last night, she wanted to come over to my house to visit our son and drop off Christmas presents. She did that. Then I noticed something fishy when she wouldn't let go of my son, she then turned her back to me and said "Okay, we're going!" And ran to her car.

    Her boyfriend appears from the corner outside of my front door and attacks me, grabs me by my shirt, pushes me back, and then starts getting "too close" like he is going to attack me while my son's Mother runs to their car and locks the doors. I had to put a physical restraint on her boyfriend to get him off of me so I could get to my son. (Note: This is not the first time he has gotten in between my ex and our son and myself.) I did call the police and they said it was a civil matter and told me to get a lawyer.

    To sum things up

    I had my son for 2 1/2 months with his mom making little to no contact.

    I know I made a mistake not filing for anything sooner but due to financial problems I could not do anything at the time.

    His mom lives with her boyfriend and their new kid even though we are separated, not divorced, have a prior engagement with our son, they move to a new state 200+ miles away from me without notifying me at all.

    My son has shown aggressive behavior, attitude, and any time I pick him up after he has been with his mother, he has a very bad mouth.

    She pays child support through the state of NE.

    The 2 1/2 months my son was with me, his attitude shifted, he was way more affectionate, not violent AT ALL, stopped saying these bad words, and had stability through me.

    I guess my main question is, what can I do and what should I do? His mother sent me a text and said "My lawyer told me to get him back" and that I would see him at the end of February if I agree to her terms. I really would like some help over this issue and I do think that my son could be in danger because of his mom's boyfriend and his history of violence towards me (threats in person, phone calls, texts) none of which I have documentation of.

    What would you guys suggest I do immediately (I know; get an attorney, and I am) but what do you think my attorney will suggest? Do you think that she wanted to take him from me on Saturday so she could file for something on Monday?

    Another question, is this kidnapping? A friend of mine that attends law school told me that her moving out of state without notification to me, the state of NE or our district court -- will usually grant the left behind parent (me) physical and sometimes sole custody, sometimes with supervised visitation for her since she moved without going through proper process/paperwork and through court.

    I apologize for the long post and look forward to some responses. It would be very helpful and appreciated.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Toledo, OH
    Posts
    16,307

    Default Re: Custody Dispute After Mother Secretly Moved to Another State

    but what do you think my attorney will suggest?
    We can't answer that. We don't know your attorney, and we don't have access to all of the details of your situation.

    I know you're looking for reassurance, but we cannot give that to you. You're already embarking on your best course of action - retaining counsel. Work closely with your attorney and do as s/he tells you to do.

    Another question, is this kidnapping?
    No, as you have joint legal custody, per the court order.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    25

    Default Re: Custody Dispute After Mother Secretly Moved to Another State

    perhaps you can update the thread and let people know what actually happens in the case as others might be in a similar situation and find your information useful to them.

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