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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    California
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: Splitting Up

    The mother is not necessarily the primary caregiver per say... What you need to do is call the police and have them give you a report stating home abandonment...

    Having that police report, you already have some proof that you were providing housing for her and your daughter at the point of splitting up. It's also proof of a stable home for your daughter... Doing so might get your daughter back to you for the time being... You can then proceed to the family law court and file for divorce and custody of the child...

    This is something I did wrong when my ex left me and took my daughter...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
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    Default Re: Splitting Up

    Quote Quoting OGs
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    The mother is not necessarily the primary caregiver per say... What you need to do is call the police and have them give you a report stating home abandonment...
    Wifey moving out as part of a divorce proceeding does NOT constitute abandonment.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    California
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: Splitting Up

    Quote Quoting bcd
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    State is TX
    ...I will not really have much control over the issue because I have to work and she does not. She will just take her during the day.

    What should I do once this happens. Do I call the police and report it as a kidnapping? Do I go to her mothers house and demand to get her back, Call the police if not?
    ...
    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    Wifey moving out as part of a divorce proceeding does NOT constitute abandonment.
    My mistake. Didn't see/know that the divorce was already in motion (not mention in op). I thought they were barely breaking up and that he was worried that his wife would take his daughter without his consent while he was at work.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
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    Default Re: Splitting Up

    They haven't filed yet - and Mom leaving will NOT be considered abandonment for custody purposes in Texas.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    2,031

    Default Re: Splitting Up

    Quote Quoting OGs
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    My mistake. Didn't see/know that the divorce was already in motion (not mention in op). I thought they were barely breaking up and that he was worried that his wife would take his daughter without his consent while he was at work.
    That still would not constitute "abandonment".

    Please check the state, in question, statute before offering "advice".

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    16

    Default Re: Splitting Up

    Correct, we are just starting the break up process. I know it is coming. She knows it is coming. She does not know that I know it is coming. See my other post about disability backpay for more info on that, long story.

    As far as custody goes, I am honestly not certain if it is our daughters best interest to be with her or me. In some ways, it would be better for her to get custody since she does not work and most likely never will. She is to lazy to get a job. It would be easier for her to take her to school, doctors, etc. On the other hand, that is not a value that I wish to instill in my child. I was brought up to work for my money and be proud of what I do, not see what the government will hand me.

    As long as she is living with her mother, I would not really have a problem with her having custody. Is there any way that I would be able to specify a condition that if she were to move her and the child out of her mothers house, that we would be able to go back to court and change the agreement?

    I have looked at the standard visitation schedule and I would be ok with that I think. I have also looked at the child support of 20%. That would be way cheaper than all the expenses I currently incur from my wife and all of her stuff. It would be like getting a large raise to me not to have to pay for her insurance, cell bill, doctors appts, meds, fuel, fast food and her shopping.

    I just need to know if I should call the police or take any action once she leaves to look more favorable once this goes to court.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
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    Default Re: Splitting Up

    Quote Quoting bcd
    View Post
    Correct, we are just starting the break up process. I know it is coming. She knows it is coming. She does not know that I know it is coming. See my other post about disability backpay for more info on that, long story.

    As far as custody goes, I am honestly not certain if it is our daughters best interest to be with her or me. In some ways, it would be better for her to get custody since she does not work and most likely never will. She is to lazy to get a job. It would be easier for her to take her to school, doctors, etc. On the other hand, that is not a value that I wish to instill in my child. I was brought up to work for my money and be proud of what I do, not see what the government will hand me.

    But you're Dad - you get to influence her values too

    As long as she is living with her mother, I would not really have a problem with her having custody. Is there any way that I would be able to specify a condition that if she were to move her and the child out of her mothers house, that we would be able to go back to court and change the agreement?

    Custody is always fluid. A significant change in the child's circumstances is always a reason to modify.

    (No, Mom moving out in and of itself won't be considered such but if Mom moves and wants to take kiddo out of kiddo's current school district...that may be considered a significant change).

    I have looked at the standard visitation schedule and I would be ok with that I think. I have also looked at the child support of 20%. That would be way cheaper than all the expenses I currently incur from my wife and all of her stuff. It would be like getting a large raise to me not to have to pay for her insurance, cell bill, doctors appts, meds, fuel, fast food and her shopping.

    I just need to know if I should call the police or take any action once she leaves to look more favorable once this goes to court.

    Calling the police will do nothing - no crime has been committed. Like was suggested, file for divorce and request temporary custody. And bear in mind that if Mom has been primary caregiver you're going to have an uphill battle to have that changed unless Mom is willing to go along with what you want.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    16

    Default Re: Splitting Up

    OK, thank you.

    One other thing, I do not know if it makes a difference. We are common law married. There are no official documents or anything. We have filed taxes together for the last 5 years and all our family and friends know us as married. Way back when, we talked about getting it formalized, but just never had the spare money to do so.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Splitting Up

    You will generally need to obtain a formal divorce in Texas - you are considered married.

    Here's an interesting article on common-law on TX:

    http://www.co.travis.tx.us/dro/common_law.asp

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