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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    20

    Default Ex Lied About Vasectomy

    My question involves paternity law for the State of: California

    My question is actually two parts.

    Background: I dated someone for two months during the summer until I learned he was an alcoholic with supposed ties to the mafia (could be all talk). I have seen a very violent side to him (he's got restraining orders against him, he's been to prison for attempted murder, etc.) and wanted nothing more to do with him. When I met him, I informed him that I was not on any form of birth control because I am "allergic" to the hormones. I already have 5 children. He swore to me he had a vasectomy (I have proof of his claim in email and text messages).

    The last time I was intimate with this psycho was August 3. I had a period on August 17. I started seeing someone else (an ex) and we were intimate on August 25. I found out I was pregnant on September 11.

    According to all fertility/ovulation/conception charts & calculators, I should have concieved between the 25th & 28th so my ex and I assumed it was his (and sonograms all confirmed my conception date as did my doctors). However, just to be sure, he paid for a DNA test that was performed when I had my amniocentesis. The results came back that the baby is not his. Unfortunately, at 20 weeks pregnant, I am stuck and am forced to have the baby anyway.

    The psycho is avoiding me and keeps telling me he had a vasectomy and leave him alone, etc.

    I need to know the following:

    Can I force him to undergo DNA testing before the baby is born (since the baby has already been tested), and establish a support order that would go into effect when the baby is born? What I really want is for him to sign away any parental rights, and I believe the threat of yet another support order (he already has 4 against him) might "persuade" him into doing so. I also want the DNA test to rule out lab error (which is what I suspect based on the gestational age).

    Second, if he truly lied to me about having had a vasectomy, is there any way to sue for damages based on this? I relied upon his promise of sterilization, which is why I did not make him use a condom (stupid me!). Isn't this a form of promissory estoppel? Or fraud?

    Any help is appreciated. I am pretty desperate at this point - I found out the DNA results the day before Christmas, and I've been emotionally devastated since then and need to know how to proceed.

    Thanks!!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Re: Ex Lied About Vasectomy

    There's no magic form somebody can sign to give up parental rights. If you want to compel him to take a paternity test, you would do so by filing a paternity action - which, if he's proved to be the father, would establish his parental rights.

    Vasectomies are not foolproof. He may well have had one.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    20

    Default Re: Ex Lied About Vasectomy

    Actually, I am filing a paternity action tomorrow - I printed out the forms and filled them out this afternoon. I know I can't demand he sign over his rights, my hope is that he will willingly do so under the threat of child support (he already has 4 children and support orders - and is over $100k in arrears). Honestly, it is my sincere hope that he's actually not the father - but I need his DNA to confirm a lab error regarding the other possible father.

    If it does turn out to be his child, I wholeheartedly believe that he was lying about the vasectomy. I realize that vasectomies aren't foolproof - what I want to know is whether I have a cause of action if I can prove he DID lie and did not in fact undergo the procedure.

    I attempted to "mitigate my damages" by begging him for the truth about the Vas (when he had it done and by who) and telling him that if there were any chance it was his, I would terminate immediately. He refused to give me any details - only telling me that he had it done and that I should "f*ck off", etc. Due to my reliance on his word, I continued the pregnancy too far to terminate.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    9,096

    Default Re: Ex Lied About Vasectomy

    I get the feeling that you want to sue the doctor that performed the procedure.

    You will not succeed there.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    20

    Default Re: Ex Lied About Vasectomy

    I never said anything about suing a doctor. I firmly believe he NEVER had it done and that he lied to me from day one (so there would be no doctor involved). I want this jerk to submit to DNA testing to establish or rule out paternity. And IF paternity is established, I think he should be liable for lying about his sterility.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    24,521

    Default Re: Ex Lied About Vasectomy

    IF paternity is established, you STILL have no proof that he didn't have a vasectomy. There is a certain amount of failure rate with them, and in an admittedly small but definitely not non-existant percentage of men, it sponataneously heals.

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