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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
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    Post Domestic Violence Mutual Fight

    My question involves criminal law for the state of: Louisiana

    The state of Louisiana pressed charges against me for Domestic Abuse, when my boyfriend and I had gotten into a fight, someone called the police from next door, and the police arrested me, because they said that I was "changing my story and they had to take someone to jail" No charges were pressed against my boyfriend, and it's not like the fight was all me just going crazy. I went to 'court' which was not court at all, they sent me to the DA's office, where they gave me a piece of paper to sign for a first time offender, in which I had to agree to pay fines and take an anger management class. I want to press counter charges on him, because I don't think it's right that the police can just choose who they are going to charge, and spare the other person that was just as much involved. Is it too late for me to do so? I hadn't read the statements that the police gathered that night, but now I was told what they say, and his story is false against me, so I'm convicted of Domestic Abuse and Battery, because of a false statement, and when they collected my statement, it was about 5 seconds after the fight, and I was so upset that I didn't want to talk about it at all, (especially not to 5 male officers with flashlights in my face) so what they got from me isn't very much, and doesn't tell what really happened... which in short is, I fell asleep, he tried to wake me up to have sex with me, I told him no, he jerked me out of bed, and threw me accross the room, screaming at me about anything he could think of, none of which registered to me at all at the time, and I still don't remember what he was saying, so I slapped him open handed on the cheek and told him to leave me alone, and he pushed me against the wall and held me in place by my arms, and I tried to get away from him, he told me to hit him, so I did, and he threw me accross the room again, and told me to get my stuff and move out. I ripped all my drawers out of my dresser and started pulling out my clothes, there were drawers and clothes slung all in the room (which I did) and then I started to walk out the door, and I was met on the stairs of the apartment by 5 male police officers, that wouldn't let me by, and I couldn't even stop crying to talk to them, so they just went to get his story. In his statement it says that I woke him up from a dead sleep by punching him in the face, and he pushed me in self defense, and I got upset and threw my drawers at him............. so that is why they took me to jail. I was unaware at the time what his statement said, until after I went to the DA's office for my conviction. I didn't want to get him in any trouble, I thought maybe I just had bad luck, and that's why I was the one that was taken to jail, that and they said "we have to take someone to jail." Now that I know what his statement says, and know why I have all these fines and classes to take, I don't believe it's right at all for him to get away with it, if it is a mutual fight, and he was more aggressive than I was, it seems to me, if I must have the charges, then he should have also been charged. Any help with this matter would be greatly appreciated.

  2. #2

    Default Re: Domestic Violence Mutual Fight

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    My question involves criminal law for the state of: Louisiana

    The state of Louisiana pressed charges against me for Domestic Abuse, when my boyfriend and I had gotten into a fight, someone called the police from next door, and the police arrested me, because they said that I was "changing my story and they had to take someone to jail" No charges were pressed against my boyfriend, and it's not like the fight was all me just going crazy. I went to 'court' which was not court at all, they sent me to the DA's office, where they gave me a piece of paper to sign for a first time offender, in which I had to agree to pay fines and take an anger management class.
    No, you didn't HAVE to agree. You COULD have demanded that the case go to trial. What you did was make a choice to accept a known outcome and known penalties instead of risk an unknown outcome with potentially greater penalties.



    I want to press counter charges on him, because I don't think it's right that the police can just choose who they are going to charge, and spare the other person that was just as much involved. Is it too late for me to do so?
    Yes, it is. Police arrest whoever they feel they have probable cause to, whether that's one person or both people. Similarly, the DA brings charges against whoever they think they've got a case against. When you agreed to the anger management instead of trial, you effectively admitted to being guilty as charged and the DA isn't going to now go back and reopen and refile charges on the other party.


    I hadn't read the statements that the police gathered that night, but now I was told what they say, and his story is false against me,
    Which you would have had ample opportunity to address had you chosen to take the case to trial. But you didn't.

    so I'm convicted of Domestic Abuse and Battery, because of a false statement, and when they collected my statement, it was about 5 seconds after the fight, and I was so upset that I didn't want to talk about it at all, (especially not to 5 male officers with flashlights in my face) so what they got from me isn't very much, and doesn't tell what really happened... which in short is, I fell asleep, he tried to wake me up to have sex with me, I told him no, he jerked me out of bed, and threw me accross the room, screaming at me about anything he could think of, none of which registered to me at all at the time, and I still don't remember what he was saying, so I slapped him open handed on the cheek and told him to leave me alone, and he pushed me against the wall and held me in place by my arms, and I tried to get away from him, he told me to hit him, so I did, and he threw me accross the room again, and told me to get my stuff and move out. I ripped all my drawers out of my dresser and started pulling out my clothes, there were drawers and clothes slung all in the room (which I did) and then I started to walk out the door, and I was met on the stairs of the apartment by 5 male police officers, that wouldn't let me by, and I couldn't even stop crying to talk to them, so they just went to get his story. In his statement it says that I woke him up from a dead sleep by punching him in the face, and he pushed me in self defense, and I got upset and threw my drawers at him............. so that is why they took me to jail.
    So during all of this YOU never bothered to call police and report the battery against you???? When a neighbor has to call police, because you are too busy tearing up clothes and flinging drawers, that doesn't do anything to make you appear to be a clear cut victim (even if you were). Yep, throwing things makes you feel better, but doing so, right or wrong, certainly changes your impression from a demur victim to an equal fighter looking for vengence. Unfortunately, when victims decide to fight instead of to flee or report, things escalate to BOTH parties resorting to violence, and it comes down to word vs word, and changing stories never bodes well.

    I was unaware at the time what his statement said, until after I went to the DA's office for my conviction.
    Only a JURY or a JUDGE can convict. You didn't get a conviction. You accepted an offered deal. You COULD have chosen to take the case to court and face the stiffer consequences.

    I didn't want to get him in any trouble,
    The famous phrase spoken by some 90% of victims - a huge number of whom are the ones who end up in jail or other legal nightmares themselves in the course of protecting an abuser from their own actions. That's a choice that you have the right to make. But next time remember that he won't make the same choice so YOU don't get in trouble - apparently he's perfectly ok with YOU taking the hit on this rather than him. So long as victims are willing to protect their abusers, abusers will continue to abuse. It really is that simple. Next time, leave, or pick up the phone asap and call 911 and if he has to face consequences LET HIM. Otherwise YOU are at risk to be the one facing the music, again.

    I thought maybe I just had bad luck, and that's why I was the one that was taken to jail, that and they said "we have to take someone to jail." Now that I know what his statement says, and know why I have all these fines and classes to take, I don't believe it's right at all for him to get away with it, if it is a mutual fight, and he was more aggressive than I was, it seems to me, if I must have the charges, then he should have also been charged. Any help with this matter would be greatly appreciated.
    Complete your anger management classes. If you haven't already, do some research on the dynamics of domestic violence and get a good understanding of exactly HOW common your situation is - and how to both get OUT of a relationship with someone willing to treat you this way, and how to recognize the signs of such relationships so you don't get right back into another one with the same dynamics. Take this as a learning experience; abusers are perfectly willing to throw YOU to the wolves if you are not ready to act quickly in abusive events. They start it, you fight back, some little discrepancy in stories, poof, you go to jail. Get out of this relationship. STAY out of it. And learn NOT to get into similar ones. This one is over and the time and process to address HIS actions is now gone and out of your hands. Take control of what IS in your hands and move on to better things.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: Domestic Violence Mutual Fight

    I guess its easier said than done. Its easy for me to look back and say what I should've done, or what I did wrong, but the fact of the matter is, I didn't. I didn't call the cops in the midst of all the fighting, because that's not what was going through my head at all. All I was thinking about was getting away, and no I didn't take time out to throw the drawers, and I didn't do it out of vengeance, or to make myself feel better. I was just already angry, and getting my things out of the drawers, so I just pulled them all the way out, dumped my stuffed, and threw the drawer on the floor instead of putting it back in the dresser. I didn't tear clothing though, not sure where you got that.
    Just because police have the power to arrest whomever they think they should, still doesn't make it right. I had bruised ribs from being thrown, and they could clearly see the fingerprint bruises on my arms, they even had pointed it out, and still didn't take him to jail. Yeah, they had the power to make that decision, but doesn't make it right.
    I should've went to court, I know that now, but at the time I didn't realize that I had a choice, they simply handed me a sheet of paper, told me that they did this special for first time offenders to sign it and be on my way. So that's what I did. They never mentioned taking anything to court, or even mentioned that I had a choice to bring it to court. I just thought that I was already presumed guilty, and didn't realize by signing that paper that I was admitting to guilt. I've never had to deal with anything legal before, because I've never been in any trouble before, or had any reason to go to court, or to a DA's office or anything of that sort.
    But I didn't get back with him, it was over, it's still over, I moved out immediately, but didn't have the required means to get the furniture, he said that he would bring it for me, it's been 2 months, and he still hasn't brought any of the furniture. And to make things worse, I'm pregnant with his child, and not supposed to be working because of complications with the pregnancy, so I have no way of paying the fines, because I have no income, and yes, I was pregnant during all of the fight and jail and so on and so forth. Having a kid on the way makes things a little more difficult, because he wants to still come around, and he wants to go to doctors appointments, and he wants to be there when the baby is born, and I'm sure that this domestic violence thing will go against me if he ever tried to take me to court over it.

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