Ok...well, my Mom has not passed on yet, but she is 82 yo and as time has gone by over the years, there are some questions which seriously bother me. I don't want to feel like or seem to others like a vulture, but on the other hand there are some legal things I need to know and don't know where else to get the information.
First... There has been great division in my family for decades, largely based on greed. There have been no family traditional holiday sharing mostly beginning before my father's death and as each year passed less. In fact, I don't think there is any family gathering at all for more than a few years.
I was the odd man out since I am the only child who embarked on a career completely seperate from the family business, paid my own way while sister, two brothers and their wives all worked for my parents for some time in which they had company vehicles, gas and other company credit cards and benefits, maid service, ect.
My parents owned a large, moderately wealthy company which as far as I know, my mother is still owner and President of. The company does have public stock. Upon my father's death, my younger brother left the company he was working for (he'd worked for my parents for about 10 years, left after an argument with them) and my mother installed him as company manager, while she continued to work there until she was in her upper 70's. He pressured her to leave. They no longer speak, nor is my mother willing to have relationships with ANY of her children since she became involved with an elderly man in his late 70's. She has basically sought estrangement from all her children and grandchildren since my father's death.
Right after my father's death and for several years after, my mother told me her WILL provides for a equal portion of her estate to each of the 4 children or their heirs upon her death. She made the youngest of her children, my brother, the company manager, her executor. That was a change from one of her nieces as co-executor. Who the other executor was I don't recall.
She told me the company, if my younger brother did not buy it, was part of her estate and it would have to be sold. She also told me that it was my brother's responsibility as executor that upon her death that her home was to be locked and its contents divided between the children. She has said over the years that she was assigning specific things to specific individuals, but I don't know for sure that she has done that.
I lived on the west coast for almost 20 years and only came home for my Father's funeral. Little family greeting, in fact, rejection continued from 10 years before because I married a black man and we are still togethor 22 years later.
We recently moved back to our home state, North Carolina. I tried before we left WA state to contact by both email and phone ...all of my family to let them know we were coming home, with no response. Once we arrived, I called and called, leaving messages... NOT about the estate, but because I truly want back the family I still love and want traditional holidays togethor like we always did. No response, not even from my Mother until I called from a phone in which caller ID did not reveal my name and that conversation was tight. No phone calls, 6 months later.
None of them have relationships with each other either. Its a big mess. I am not even sure anyone will let me know if my Mother is sick, in hospital, nursing home or has died. They did not let me know when my Grandmother died, who I was very close to for all my life and still was even though she and my Aunts and Uncles knew of my marriage and biracial children.
So what I need to know now is:
1) How do I find out who the executor of my Mother's estate is now? Just to be sure its still my brother.
2) What are the legal responsibilties of the estate executor? Before and after. Isn't he supposed to know my address and phone number.
3) What are my legal rights and responsibilities before, during and after her death?
4) How do I find out if my parent's company has been sold already or what the arrangements are upon my Mother's death? She had previously told me she cannot simply GIVE the company to my brother, since its part of her estate. ?? The company, she had told me, is worth around 20 million and has 6 branch offices throughout NC.
5) I know my brothers and sister. They will do exactly what they did when my Grandmother died and literally ransack my Mother's home for anything and everything of value, keepsakes and treasures of sentimental value. They will allow their own children to do the same.
I need to know how to prevent that from happening IF my brother the executor abuses his authority and engages in that himself or allows it to happen.
All I seek is equitable and fair division of funds and property from my Mother's estate, which is supposed to also include disbursement of funds from the sale of my Father's company and the family home and lands, rental properties owned by them and properties owned in several other counties in NC.
Since I cannot ask family members these questions I have no choice but to ask legal experts.
My younger brother has milked money in the thousands from my Mother for years. $250,000 at one time for the company he said. Another time, it was $40,000.
I'm not totally sure anymore what is going on or just how bad it is. I am also very concerned about my Mother's state of mind and this fella she calls her "friend" and his family, his rights and whether my Mother may have altered her WILL on his behalf or for some other reason.
Hope this wasn't too awfully long. Please help.

