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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    8

    Question Dispensation of Mom's Estate - What Are My Rights and Responsiblities

    Ok...well, my Mom has not passed on yet, but she is 82 yo and as time has gone by over the years, there are some questions which seriously bother me. I don't want to feel like or seem to others like a vulture, but on the other hand there are some legal things I need to know and don't know where else to get the information.

    First... There has been great division in my family for decades, largely based on greed. There have been no family traditional holiday sharing mostly beginning before my father's death and as each year passed less. In fact, I don't think there is any family gathering at all for more than a few years.

    I was the odd man out since I am the only child who embarked on a career completely seperate from the family business, paid my own way while sister, two brothers and their wives all worked for my parents for some time in which they had company vehicles, gas and other company credit cards and benefits, maid service, ect.

    My parents owned a large, moderately wealthy company which as far as I know, my mother is still owner and President of. The company does have public stock. Upon my father's death, my younger brother left the company he was working for (he'd worked for my parents for about 10 years, left after an argument with them) and my mother installed him as company manager, while she continued to work there until she was in her upper 70's. He pressured her to leave. They no longer speak, nor is my mother willing to have relationships with ANY of her children since she became involved with an elderly man in his late 70's. She has basically sought estrangement from all her children and grandchildren since my father's death.

    Right after my father's death and for several years after, my mother told me her WILL provides for a equal portion of her estate to each of the 4 children or their heirs upon her death. She made the youngest of her children, my brother, the company manager, her executor. That was a change from one of her nieces as co-executor. Who the other executor was I don't recall.

    She told me the company, if my younger brother did not buy it, was part of her estate and it would have to be sold. She also told me that it was my brother's responsibility as executor that upon her death that her home was to be locked and its contents divided between the children. She has said over the years that she was assigning specific things to specific individuals, but I don't know for sure that she has done that.

    I lived on the west coast for almost 20 years and only came home for my Father's funeral. Little family greeting, in fact, rejection continued from 10 years before because I married a black man and we are still togethor 22 years later.

    We recently moved back to our home state, North Carolina. I tried before we left WA state to contact by both email and phone ...all of my family to let them know we were coming home, with no response. Once we arrived, I called and called, leaving messages... NOT about the estate, but because I truly want back the family I still love and want traditional holidays togethor like we always did. No response, not even from my Mother until I called from a phone in which caller ID did not reveal my name and that conversation was tight. No phone calls, 6 months later.

    None of them have relationships with each other either. Its a big mess. I am not even sure anyone will let me know if my Mother is sick, in hospital, nursing home or has died. They did not let me know when my Grandmother died, who I was very close to for all my life and still was even though she and my Aunts and Uncles knew of my marriage and biracial children.

    So what I need to know now is:

    1) How do I find out who the executor of my Mother's estate is now? Just to be sure its still my brother.

    2) What are the legal responsibilties of the estate executor? Before and after. Isn't he supposed to know my address and phone number.

    3) What are my legal rights and responsibilities before, during and after her death?

    4) How do I find out if my parent's company has been sold already or what the arrangements are upon my Mother's death? She had previously told me she cannot simply GIVE the company to my brother, since its part of her estate. ?? The company, she had told me, is worth around 20 million and has 6 branch offices throughout NC.

    5) I know my brothers and sister. They will do exactly what they did when my Grandmother died and literally ransack my Mother's home for anything and everything of value, keepsakes and treasures of sentimental value. They will allow their own children to do the same.

    I need to know how to prevent that from happening IF my brother the executor abuses his authority and engages in that himself or allows it to happen.

    All I seek is equitable and fair division of funds and property from my Mother's estate, which is supposed to also include disbursement of funds from the sale of my Father's company and the family home and lands, rental properties owned by them and properties owned in several other counties in NC.

    Since I cannot ask family members these questions I have no choice but to ask legal experts.

    My younger brother has milked money in the thousands from my Mother for years. $250,000 at one time for the company he said. Another time, it was $40,000.

    I'm not totally sure anymore what is going on or just how bad it is. I am also very concerned about my Mother's state of mind and this fella she calls her "friend" and his family, his rights and whether my Mother may have altered her WILL on his behalf or for some other reason.

    Hope this wasn't too awfully long. Please help.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Re: Dispensation of Mom's Estate - What Are My Rights and Responsiblities

    1. You ask your mother.

    2. The person designated as executor has no responsibilities until a court in fact appoints him executor of the estate. He has no present obligation to talk to you or take your contact information, as there is no estate.

    3. Your a legal heir, so you have the right to notice of the probate proceedings, including the proposed distribution of the estate's assets.

    4. You ask your mother, or your brothers who are involved in the business, or anybody else who is involved in the business who may know and be willing to talk to you. If in fact the company is publicly traded there will be SEC documents you can check.

    5. If your mother will give you access to her home, you can take photographs or video of its contents.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    25

    Default Re: Dispensation of Mom's Estate - What Are My Rights and Responsiblities

    Knowitall has it about right

    But I would get the documents on the company

    If it is traded publicly you can quickly and very
    easily see who owns it.

    I would think if your mother it would be in Trust
    so looking at SEC filings you would see Trust
    of Mrs or MS your mothers name ect

    Go and check this now

    If it is not public you can still see the ownership
    by getting the state listing of owners from the state
    corporate filings that must be done for any corporation
    within most states

    If you wounder than do some investigation.

    SKI

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Dispensation of Mom's Estate - What Are My Rights and Responsiblities

    Thanks for the replies. I am just now getting back due to hectic holidays.

    At any rate I have now checked the SEC and am not sure I understand what I am seeing. My younger brother, the youngest of the 4 siblings is listed as registered agent. Does that mean he owns the company?

    If thats true, then my Mother would have had to have given it to him somehow cause I am very sure he did not buy it from her.

    My Mother told me, some years ago and for reasons I cannot remember that she cannot just hand over the company to one of the children, that it must be sold or upon her death, becomes part of her estate and will have to be sold and divided between the surviving children.

    Principle officers are listed as my brother as President, his daughter as Vice President and my Mother as Treasurer.

    So... shall I assume my brother now owns my parent's company built over the last 60 years? That he can just walk in right after my Dad's death and take it?

    I WANT to ask my Mother, but she's 82 and I don't want to upset her. Both of my brothers have always manipulated my Mother, which my Dad kept in check. When he died and she brought my younger brother in to "manage" it with her. She was still President last I heard, which I admit has been several years.

    She used to discuss all these matters with me freely. Now she seems reluctant to talk to me at all. My younger brother will not accept, nor return my calls. My older sister and older brother are incognito as well. Nobody talks to anybody anymore and we all used to be close before GREED drove a wedge between them all.

    I was always on the edge since I never worked for the company. Whats crazy is that my younger brother, who now sits as President, only worked for the company for a few years right out of high school in parts only and then was away for 20 years. Upon my Dad's death my Mother installs him directly into my Dad's office.

    Soap opera, I know. But I AM very concerned about whats going on since it appears to contradict all my Mother told me about how the company would be handled.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,867

    Default Re: Dispensation of Mom's Estate - What Are My Rights and Responsiblities

    due to the amount of money involved and the situation, you should speak with, and possibly hire, an attorney that will help you through this. It can be quite complex considering the business situation. You can bet the estate will have an attorney advising the executor and you not having one to confer with, advise you, and possibly act on your behalf will leave you on the outside looking in.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Dispensation of Mom's Estate - What Are My Rights and Responsiblities

    Quote Quoting jk
    View Post
    due to the amount of money involved and the situation, you should speak with, and possibly hire, an attorney that will help you through this. It can be quite complex considering the business situation. You can bet the estate will have an attorney advising the executor and you not having one to confer with, advise you, and possibly act on your behalf will leave you on the outside looking in.
    Well, I think that is exactly where I am at this point. The company is public, shares at $100 each. I've found that much out at least. And I now know that at least, according to the company website, my Mother was still the owner in 2006. But, looking at the yearly reports I see a change from her being listed as Agent up to 2005 and now my brother is listed as Agent. I don't know what any of this means.

    What kind of attorneys represent people like me?

    My Dad'd sister is 86.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    121

    Default Re: Dispensation of Mom's Estate - What Are My Rights and Responsiblities

    Registered agent is not owner, just the person officially representing a corporation:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Registered_agent

    If it's publicly traded, then your mother is not the sole owner. Nothing prevents her from willing her shares to anyone she wants to. Your confusion over her statement is well justified.

    There are attorneys who specialize in estates and probate. Depending on where you are, the category may be "Wills, Trusts, and Estate Planning" under Attorneys. You definitely need one. By preparing you may be able to forestall vandalism of the house etc -- I don't know but that's by far the best place to find out.

    Realize that at her age, your mother's change in communication with you may be a result of age-related brain changes. (This can be the start of Alzheimer's, but more likely is simpler aging changes.) You are trying to avoid hurting her and others, which is admirable, but at her age you may have to take actions based on what you know her beliefs were in the past, without being able to discuss it with her.

    I am not a lawyer.

    Edward

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