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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    4

    Default Step- Parent Adoption Advice

    My question involves adoption law for the State of: Colorado/ NY state

    Hello everyone.

    I have 3 children. Two of which are ages 8 and 4, from a previous marriage. My other child , is my now husbands child.

    In the year of 2005, I was separated and my ex husband and I had it out in a lengthy 2 year custody divorce battle. After money got rough on both sides, and him trying to prove me as unfit,and wasn't able to prove that, we agreed to joint custody, and we also agreed to visitations, child support , ( which I resided in TX at that time and CS was going through TX ), and I was the boys custodial parent and I was able to move and reside anywhere in the US without having to give notice to my ex husband, as he was also able to move anywhere in the US. The first two visitations, for the summers of 2006, and 2007, he had both of our boys for the whole summers, and declined his holiday time with them. For a while, he was calling and kept communication with them, but was getting into a lot of trouble with not taking care of his responsiblities and stopped paying child support.

    In the year of 2007, my fiance ( at the time) and myself with the children moved to Colorado state. My ex husband has not voluntarily done anything ( except a birthday card, and christmas presents), and has not taken his visitation time in 2 years. It has gone from him calling the kids all the time, to calling one month and then waiting 2-3 months and calling, and then the same pattern. I have had my oldest son is counseling , because he has wrestled with dealing with his feelings of why his father does not call and why he has not been able to see him.

    I have made contact with my ex husband about my concerns and have tried to work with him on many things. I have webcam, and etc, though he refuses to use it for out of state communication with our two boys. This year, my husband and I have talked a lot about him adopting my two boys. I'm willing to take the steps in hopes that my ex husband will come around and be a father to our two boys, get to know them, and be a responsible father, and share this wonderful life with us, but have yet to see him do as such.

    If he fails come around, what are the chances that the boys step father can adopt them as his own? What would need to be done for that to happen? Currently , NY state carries jurisdiction on custody, until I can change it to Colorado, which if things keep going the way they are going, I will try to have it changed and many more. I don't want to be heartless and I want our boys to have the best of both worlds, but I'm at a standstill. Any advise will be appreciated

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    424

    Default Re: Step- Parent Adoption Advice

    It will be difficult without dad's consent.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,344

    Default Re: Step- Parent Adoption Advice

    Did the father consent for the children to move out of state? Since he was not the one who removed the children from the original state, and it seems he was a big part of the children's lives until you did that, I don't see any way you are going to get his parental rights terminated unless he voluntarily agrees.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: Step- Parent Adoption Advice

    Quote Quoting Bubba Jimmy
    View Post
    Did the father consent for the children to move out of state? Since he was not the one who removed the children from the original state, and it seems he was a big part of the children's lives until you did that, I don't see any way you are going to get his parental rights terminated unless he voluntarily agrees.
    Yes, we stood up in a NY state courtroom and he gave consent. Him and his lawyer also did the separation agreement which stated that I could move anywhere with the children in any state, which also went with the divorce decree.

    Although, I was able to talk to my ex husband this morning. We are gonna work on our issues and try to find a better way for him to be there for our boys. As you can see, I'm trying my best to do what is possible so that he has a relationship with the boys. I appreciate the feed=back. Thank you.

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