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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    4

    Default Leaving an Emotionally Abusive Spouse

    My child and I are needing to leave our home quickly. We are in an emotional/verbally abusive situation. I have no children with this man and he has no legal rights to my child. We own a home, 2 vehicles, credit card debts and a joint back account.

    I need to know that my child and I will be financially stable. I work but do not make much of an income and do not receive any form of child support.

    What will be my financial responsibilities and what happens to the home, vehicles and debts, etc?

    He has threatened to "screw" me over if I try to leave and that me and my child won't make it. I need to leave but I also need to know where I will stand.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,906

    Default

    The home, cars, and credit card accounts are all jointly held/titled?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    4

    Default reply to aaron

    The house is joint. He has horrible credit so we put everything in my name. Is this all they look at - who's name they are in? Or do they look at the time frame when the accounts were opened or used? Furniture was purchased and it had to be in my name but is for the household.....vehicle is in my name, as are the credit cards.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,906

    Default

    Is there a mortgage on the house? In your name only?

    And to be clear, you are presently married to the man?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    4

    Default reply to aaron

    yes there is mortgage on the house........we've only been in the house 5 years and it is in both our names. I do not want the house as it is full of horrible memories. During a previous seperation, he stalked me, showed up drunk so I would rather be someplace else where he can't harm us. Yes I am married to him.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,906

    Default

    If you file for divorce, you will continue to be liable for all of the joint debts or debts that are in your name until they are paid off or refinanced. You will probably want to ask that the court order the home sold, with the mortgage and marital debts settled from the proceeds.

    Although it is possible to have the court order that one party pay certain debts, and hold the other party harmless against creditors and indemnify them if they have to pay, the creditors are not obligated to respect such an order. That is, if your husband is ordered to pay certain debts during the divorce, but does not do so, the creditor can come after you and you'll be stuck trying to get the money back from your ex- (who doesn't sound like he would pay).

    The money in a joint bank account is presumed to belong to either party to the account, and either can withdraw all of the money. (If one spouse does so, the other may nonetheless have a claim to have the money included in the marital estate.) If he has signing privileges on any of your credit cards, you would presumably want to remove those privileges when you initiate the divorce.

    If this guy is abusive and controlling, as appears to be the case, you should consider working through a lawyer.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    4

    Default Very disheartening

    Aaron,
    I appreciate your responses. I do find this very disheartening as he informed me last night that he will see to it that I pay for everything. He said that he will check to make sure I am paying everything on time or he will take me to court to sue me.

    There are repairs that need to be made to the home as he starts many home projects and never finishes them and he also advised me that he will have the judge order me to pay for half of all the repairs when I leave so he can sell the house. He reminded me that we (my child and I) will never make it and that will be all MY fault because I just don't know how to "respect my husband."

    I know he will hire someone better than I possibly could because he makes almost triple the income that I make and he is very convincing when he has a hidden agenda.

    Again - thank you.

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