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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    1

    Default Malicious Harassment by Phone, Email and Facebook

    My question involves criminal law for the state of: Alabama or North Carolina

    I am being harassed by my fiances ex. She called trying to be my friend while saying all kinds of things to destroy my relationship with my fiance. My fiance and I have a baby of 6 months which seems to be the catalyst to this womans problems. She found me on facebook and tried adding me as a friend I ignored this and checked all my settings to make sure my profile was as private as possible. After the first 2 phone calls I stopped answering the phone to her. She then resorted to really nasty emails and voicemails saying all kinds of malicious things about me and my baby. She keeps demanding a DNA test like its her business. One evening she called me 20 times within one hour. I have blocked and reported her to facebook, changed my home and cell phone numbers and blocked all the emails she has been emailing me from. She has taken a photograph of my profile picture on facebook and keeps emailing that to me.

    This is all very upsetting. I live in another country and the police here can't do anything because she lives in the States. I contacted the police in North Carolina and they tried to trace her phone numbers but they are not registered so they say there is little they can do.

    Help? This is all affecting my appetite and my sleep - the last thing I need with a young baby!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Re: Malicious Harassment by Phone, Email and Facebook

    When you make a complaint about being harassed, you should make it to your local police. Given that this crosses state lines, though, it will be difficult for the police to act.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Toledo, OH
    Posts
    16,306

    Default Re: Malicious Harassment by Phone, Email and Facebook

    ...if not impossible, since you say you don't live in the US.

    If your local police department cannot or will not act, you need to cut off all avenues of access for her. You've locked down your Facebook and changed your phone numbers, which is a good start. You need to change your e-mail address, too.

    You can also send a complaint to the abuse department of her ISP. Include copies of harassing messages that she has sent, including full headers. (If you don't know how to find your e-mail headers, click your e-mail client's name here, and follow the instructions.)
    I'm not a lawyer, but I play a researcher on the internet!
    Caution: I bite. WARNING: Do not send questions or complaints by PM. I'm likely to post them publicly and embarrass you half to death.
    I'm training for the MS Society's Bike to the Bay - and blogging about it!

  4. #4

    Default Re: Malicious Harassment by Phone, Email and Facebook

    International law enforcement isn't going to get involved in an email harassment case. Even if they had absolute proof that she was harassing you via email, neither the US nor your unnamed country are about to spend thousands of dollars to fly you back to the US, feed you, put you up at a hotel for a couple of days, etc. just so you can testify at trial for a misdemeanor - where even if she's found guilty, she'll most likely pay a fine and go home. Murder case? Millions embezzled? Certainly? These circumstances? Just isn't going to happen.

    Simply contine to delete her emails, without opening them, without responding to them. Or use your privacy settings to allow ONLY certain people for a while until she gets the hint that you're not going to participate in the conflict she's looking for.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    California
    Posts
    666

    Default Re: Malicious Harassment by Phone, Email and Facebook

    I don't see how anyone can be harassed by email except in the case of spamming large numbers of messages that take a long time to delete. Just delete any that she sends you without reading them. She can't make you open or read them; you are doing that to yourself. Same for voice messages.

    Letting her upset you is what fuels her to continue.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    6,808

    Default Re: Malicious Harassment by Phone, Email and Facebook

    Like Missy said, change your email address.

    Next...block her from your email account. You can do this in any Windows program by going into (using Windows Vista here): Message....Create Rules from Message. Enter anything possible. When the message has her name in it or in the subject, her email address, etc.

    Just don't even bother reading her messages. As another poster said, she is winning by upsetting you.

    And know this: If you are in another country, and she is calling you....it is somehow costing her money, whether it be an upgraded calling plan or an expensive call not covered in a calling plan....

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