Moving Closer to Kids but Wages Would Be Lower

[scared of law]

....also she messing with my visitation, changing dates a couple days before our arrangements and changing them to days in the middle of the week when I work. Can I petition or file for an order so that the visits take place at the same time everytime so she can't play that game. I mean, I have to work and arrange for my son to have someone watch him, it's really tricky and expensive for me to take a trip to s.Cal and then she just sends an e-mail saying 'that date no longer works for me" or something and I have to scramble like mad or she'll go into court saying I'm a bad dad and missed visits!!!

Also she insists on supervising the visits, I feel this is super risky for me. How expensive is it to have a court appointed supervisor and can I even do that?

[LawResearcherMissy]

Also she insists on supervising the visits

Does your visitation order specify that visits are to be supervised?

[scared of law]

yeah, It started out that way because I was in Hawaii when the baby was born in CA. I guess the mediator said that was pretty much the way it always is. I didn't feel I needed to be alone with a 2 month old anyways. I have since moved to CA but had to move up near Sacramento because my family is here and I needed the help with arrangements to make the move as a single parent and an old company I used to work for helped me out with a job. I was hoping to be down in s. cal by now, but can't find the work at my current pay.

Actually what happened before that was I had asked for us (the ex and I) to get a lawyer together work things out because it was impossible to communicate with her and I thought I could at least tell the lawyer what I wanted and come to an agreement. Instead she got a lawyer in Cali and filed an ocs to terminate my rights, banking that I would just no show from hawaii.... It was like I woke up and she had pieced together a bunch of e-mails of me trying to placate her but instead making it look like I wanted to abandoned my daughter and want nothing to do with her, none of it is true, I had spent almost every penny I had on baby stuff already! the woman is a master manipulator. It was terrifying.

I was able to make it out here for the mediation and court date, but after the plane ticket had no money for a lawyer, but I did keep 2 hours a months supervised visits with the plan to change that through the courts when I could. She insists on supervising the visits I think just so she can have access to me and mess with my head. I had no idea what i was doing and basically just sat there and nodded my head through the whole thing. Now I'm paying half her law fees from that.

Anyways after I moved here she was messing with my visitation even then, not answering my e-mails and texts for requests so I used all the money I had left and borrowed some to get a lawyer and file an ocs to get more vistation and have them not be supervised, but right then my son got sick with this rare skin condition (follicular mucinosis) that they thought was lymphoma (it finally turned out not to be) but it requires treatment 3 times a week for months and I miss work due to it so I basically went into court broke without a lawyer and said I can't make it to socal any more times a month until I can return to work full time and the treatments are done. I got increased to one-6 hour visit a month and again she insisted on supervising it. I hoped that agreeing to let her supervise would "make nice" and she would let me have more access.... nope. And now I'm paying legal fees for that too!!! and now I'm afraid she's gonna use the visits to say I abuse her or the baby or something.

omg Missy thank you soo much for reading my posts. You don't even know..

after the mediation, I had also asked on the ocs to have my daughter put on my health insurance, but it was like the judge was suprised we came to an agreement and never read any of that, I didn't know if i should ask him or what. I do get a hardship for being a single parent, her lawyer did that, I think she felt bad for me...