13 Year Old Runaway to Father, Him Condoning It

[clotus]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Missouri

I apologize in advance for a lengthy post. I will try to keep it short.

My sister has been divorced for over a year. She has custody of 4 children 10 days, he has them 5.

He wants more custody in order to pay less child support. Last year at their Christmas break, he kept them from her, saying they wanted to live with him. The police would do nothing. Eventually, he gave them back. He really doesn't want them full time. They ended up in court to the current situation he agreed on: the time above and money.

But, ever since, he is perpetuating a disagreeable relationship between the two older kids and their mom, rehashing the fact that "she" broke up the family, etc. The exes sister, a 30 year old, even created a Facebook page to that effect with my 13 year old niece on it. He lets the kids do whatever they want, not shower in his care, swear, etc. He is also telling my niece that she is 13, and can choose where she wants to live, for all the kids, which by browsing this forum looks untrue.

The mom has been documenting what she can. So, my first question: how can the mom stop this behavior from the father? Does it have to go to court? and under what context?

Second, this same 13 year old is now threatening to run away, and break the mom's stuff, if she can't go live with Dad. If she does run away, but returns to the father, does the mom have any recourse?

I really appreciate any and all help. This forum is a wealth of information!

[cyjeff]

I say this often.

A court order is just that... an order. It has the force of law upon those named within.

It is not a guideline or a suggestion that can be altered by the wishes of either party... and certainly not by the wishes of a minor child.

Get your sister to her attorney's office to begin an action outlining the ex's contempt of the court order... and have her do it NOW.

[aardvarc]

AND, someone should let the CHILD know that it's not up to HER....OR to her father. As CyJeff points out, it's up to the JUDGE.

The reality is that the more the child acts out (running away, destroying property), the LESS time she's likely going to get to spend with dad. If dad is filling her head with ideas that tantrums are a useful tool, or encouraging runaway behavior under the VERY mistaken idea that this is going to be overlooked or tolerated by the court, he is seriously setting up BOTH himself AND the child up for a reality shock.

Dad may, of course, in one manner, get more visitation time, but unless he plans to conduct that visitation in a juvenile holding facility when the actions he's encouraging catch up to this child, his tune needs to change.