Results 1 to 2 of 2
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    1

    Question Cross State Contact/Visitation Issues (Colorado and Missouri)

    My question involves a child custody case from the States of Colorado and Missouri. Divorce took place in 1999 in MO, father was abused and moved back to CO, attemtped to file statutory rape charges on mother for having sexual affairs with minors (14 years old [two of them] however, charges were not just dropped, but blown off). child was 2 at the time. Mother (who had custody) ended up robbing a convenience store at gunpoint, and went to jail for 3 months, and was on probation for 5 years. Father had legal written custody of child for three months (and technically, still to this day, written custody has never been changed back) while mother was in prison. When mother was released, she and her lawyer went to Colorado to pick up child from father, using Colorado police to back her plight. when lawyers and courts were contacted, father was told that there was nothing anyone could do about it, and he was ordered to pay child support again. Suspicions were raised after 2 years of not being able to talk to child, that child was not living with the mother. Again, father was told by FSR and lawyers that there was nothing he could do about it. When contact was attempted by the father, it was met with either phones being disconnected, letters being returned, or seemingly endless conversations with the mother on the rare occasions that he could get a hold of her, 'waiting' for the child to get home from 'grandma's house'.

    October of 2008 child tries to make contact herself (she is 11 years old by this time) and calls the father's parents. father calls back, and they speak for the first time in almost 8 years. child discloses to father that the mother has told her that her father didn't want to have anything to do with her, has never tried to make contact, has never sent cards or gifts (which he has numerous times) but she knew her mother enough to know better, and wanted to find out for herself. the child and the father exchange a few phone calls, and suddenly, contact stops again for at least 6 months. in April of 2009, child text messages the father's long term (8 years) girlfriend's cell phone number, which was enclosed in a card that was sent to the child for Christmas the year before. in the numerous texts she asks for $50, which was sent in a card for her birthday a few days later (which the child said she never received). Father attempts to contact mother numerous times and is met with 'voicemail' then 'disconnected' messages. child stops contacting, then again, no contact for another six months.

    October/November of 2009 (current), the child begins texting and calling the girlfriend's phone again, and discloses information including the following things: Child did not live with mother until she was 9 years old, but instead lived with her half sister with her mother's parents (child support is and has been always kept up to date, sent to mother thru colorado support registry); mother has 'blocked contact' on child's cell phone from any and all phone numbers of the father's (work and cell) and the father's parents; child has been told that father wants nothing to do with her, never has, and that the father doesn't care about her; that the father has never called the mother or the household to attempt to make contact; child is unhappy and feels that the mother 'loves the sister more than her'. Child also discloses that she does not talk to her mother, they have no relationship, and she wishes she could be in Colorado with her father. She also explains that the mother does not want her to have contact with her father, until the father can get to know the daughter (and vice versa) but the mother will be comfortable with nothing but letters (and we worry that the child wont get them in the first place). The child discloses that the family has moved yet again, and again the mother has neglected to disclose the address and contact information to the Father. The child gives the mailing address and expresses fear that she won't be allowed the mail, and suggests mailing letters to her school so that she will receive them. The child was given the father's alternate work phone number in case the girlfriend's cell phone number ends up blocked as well. The child feels she has to hide contact with the father to avoid very bad fights with her mother, including disguising the phone number in her cell phone as a friend from school.

    My questions: Is it okay to mail the child at her school, or could there be retaliation? What is the age in these states in which the child is allowed to petition the courts herself on which household she wants to live in (she will be 13 in May)? Are there any legal grounds in which the Mother can legally keep the Father away from the child (there never was any abuse from the father, nor any type of restraining orders)? Do you have any suggestions for us to continue contact - legally - with the child?

    Thank you for your time, and your answers, they are greatly appreciated...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Minneapolis/St. Paul area
    Posts
    497

    Default Re: Cross State Contact/Visitation Issues (Colorado and Missouri)

    My questions: Is it okay to mail the child at her school, or could there be retaliation? What is the age in these states in which the child is allowed to petition the courts herself on which household she wants to live in (she will be 13 in May)? Are there any legal grounds in which the Mother can legally keep the Father away from the child (there never was any abuse from the father, nor any type of restraining orders)? Do you have any suggestions for us to continue contact - legally - with the child?

    I too have a divorce wherein we live in separate states (mine is Kansas/Minnesota, until I shift jurisdiction to MN, and my ex lives in Missouri). I don't have quite the struggle that you do, but I think I can offer some help.

    First of all, you will probably be unsuccessful trying to use the child's school as a mailing point. Legally, they can't/won't want to get involved in this matter. I think your best alternative is to buy a P.O. box for child, or send any and all correspondence via certified mail, requiring a signature. Granted, certified mail can still be withheld, but at least you have more definitive proof that you are indeed attempting to contact child. Also, make sure any money you include is in the form of a check, and get copies of the check from your bank once it has been cleared.

    As for petitioning the courts to live with her father, the fact is that that is a motion that needs to come from a parent. Dad needs to file for a change of custody, and then the child will meet with the judge and he will most likely take her opinion into consideration (13 is old enough for such a move). If you can document the facts of your case, then I think you may have a good chance. But bear in mind that due to their limited relationship, a custody change may not be granted. At the very least, however, a judge will award dad visitation time. If he is denied that visitation, then your chances for a change of custody increase.

    As a side note, if dad gets awarded visitation time, make sure dad's lawyer gets the order stated as enforceable. For me, whenever I go to Missouri to pick up my kids and my ex refuses, the cops have no recourse. All they can do is give me a police report and tell me that they can't do anything. My parenting plan, currently, is only a civil order. However, after I change jurisdiction, if my ex refuses to give me the kids, my lawyer tells me that the cops will be able to take them from him and enforce our parenting plan.

    Moving on... No. There are no legal grounds upon which the mother can keep the kids from Dad, unless the courts have ordered something. Basically, as their father, he has the right to see them. The only thing that would prevent that is a court order prohibiting it, but it doesn't sound as though that is your case, so the short answer is "No, she can't keep the kids from him".

    As for continuing contact legally, in addition to continued phone and mail contact (which you need to document), I'd strongly recommend actually seeing the child. Send notice of your intent to exercise visitation, and then attempt to do so. If possible, go to the child's school. Spend a weekend in her town. etc. Show the courts that you acknowledge the unfamiliarity between Dad and child, and you want to make the reaquaintance as painless as possible.

    Granted, mom may deny dad his visitation. She may hide the child from him. But by attempting to see the child, and having the proof that the attempts were made (receipts, police reports, etc.) it will aid the change of custody case (if dad decides to pursue that).

    Finally, get to a lawyer! At the very least a motion needs to be filed to modify visitation, or contempt of court against mom needs to be pursued. Dad should be able to see his child, and the fact that he is basically a stranger to the poor thing is incredible to me.

    1. Sponsored Links
       

Similar Threads

  1. Grandparents and Third Parties: Cross-State Grandparent Rights
    By rshopelmt in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-10-2011, 05:39 PM
  2. Cross-State Custody Issue
    By paradexes in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 02-04-2011, 12:21 AM
  3. Suspended License in Missouri, Want One in Colorado
    By amandat in forum Driver's Licenses
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 01-21-2009, 10:09 PM
  4. Divorce: Cross State Jurisdiction
    By knittagirl in forum Divorce, Annulment and Separation
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 11-27-2008, 09:07 PM
  5. Assault & Battery: No Contact Orders in Colorado
    By keglebear in forum Criminal Charges
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 03-28-2007, 08:14 AM
 
 
Sponsored Links

Legal Help, Information and Resources