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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    7

    Unhappy My Ex is Trying to Say the Assault Was My Fault

    This is for the state of Minnesota.

    My ex has a history of assault, with me, and on his minor record with a girlfriend from high school. A year ago, I was pregnant (not his child), and he punched me in the stomach. The charges ended up being dismissed due to lack of evidence (the baby was born healthy and I had no marks of any kind) and I also backed off because I still wanted to be with him (which obviously was a bad idea.) Regardless, weeks after the case was dismissed he attacked me again leaving more than enough evidence on my body for the police to document. I filed the charges come to find he has served ne with a restraining order that he got in another county (different from where the assault was and where I filed my report.)

    His family has more than enough money to fork out for a good lawyer and he threatened me with the last assault that if it went to trial he would make sure I was the one charged and prosecuted with domestic assault. We haven't spoken since I reported him this time, but since I have been served with a restraining order, I am scared he is going to try and do the same thing. What could I be facing from him? What can he do to me?

    I will admit that I scratched him and bit him in self defense as he would hold me down and refuse to let me go but I'm not sure if he has marks from any of those incidents. Even if he does, can he use that against me? What kind of arguments have been used in the past as a defense for assault? I'm just very nervous that me finally reporting him and being strong about it, is just going to come back and hurt me.

    Please help.

  2. #2

    Default Re: He's Trying to Say the Assault Was My Fault

    As for what he can do, it is going to look fishy if you have a case against him and he just now tries to play she is the one who assaulted me. If he has proof then I guess he could legally try, but the chances of a DA taking that would be slim to none. Everyone always claims the other person did it first or whatever. Stand your ground and stay persistent. Do not worry. So you now have a restraining order against him? If he contacts you in any ways, immediately contact the authorities about it as it would be against the law.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: He's Trying to Say the Assault Was My Fault

    No, he went and got a restraining order on me when he found out that I reported the assault. I'm assuming it is because he wants to look as though he is the one that feels threatened by me in court.

    We haven't been to court yet so there hasn't been a no contact order issued by them yet. He hasn't even been picked up because the investigator wants to build a case on him first. I still see him at our college campus fairly often though. So I am also worried that he might try and call the police on me while on campus if he thinks I have violated his order against me.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    7

    Angry I Want Him to Go to Jail

    This is for the state of Minnesota.

    Please do not respond to this posting unless you can help answer all of my questions. I have posted on this site before and after receiving just one response, no one else responded to it because I'm sure they had already seen a reply to it. I am in desperate need of SERIOUS advice.

    I have been in an abusive relationship for a while now and on Oct 30th 2009 my ex choked me (leaving brusing), kicked me (leaving brusing on my legs), and bit me multiple times on my back and shoulder (again leaving scabs where he broke skin, and bruising.) I however did not file the report because I initially didn't want to, we had been going on like this for a long time and didn't think it was any different. However, on Nov 2 2009 I came to the conclusion that this can't go on any longer and filed my report with the police. He knew I was filing the report and on that same day he got a restraining order on me and filed a report against myself saying that I had broken into his apartment and assaulted him with bite marks and scratches which I do not deny him having as they were in COMPLETE self defense. The investigator I spoke with about my case told me that they cannot charge him with anything because there was no way to prove what actually happened. I think this is so wrong and I need to know how to get around this. I would hopefully like to get a lawyer and take this to a trial and hopefully have him found guilty of the assault. However I have been told numerous times that this just can't and won't happen because the report was filed too late even though I took pictures from the night of the incident and the police took pictures when I filed my report of what was left (which was still a significant amount of damage.)

    Please someone tell me what I can do, or even put me in touch with an appropriate type of lawyer to deal with this case. This is not justice that my attacker now has a restraining order on me and has ruined my life in a million ways and now goes on living his life all fine and dandy if you will. I need help and I want him to go to jail. All advice is appreciated but like I said, please don't post to this unless you really can help me, I do not want to be overlooked because someone sees there has already been a response. Thanks

  5. #5

    Default Re: Assaulted-I Want Him to Go to Jail

    Serious advice? If you've managed to get out, then STAY out. Ultimately, injustice or not, you cannot force the system do to something. If the DA thinks they can make the case, they'll pursue it. If they don't (due to insufficient evidence, among many other possibilities), then they won't. It certainly doesn't make a case their number one priority if there have been past problems with the victim being uncooperative in trying to hold the offender accountable. Getting a lawyer won't help you in this situation - the STATE, on behalf of victims, is the one who decides if charges will be brought. A private attorney COULD assist you if you were suing him for things like injuries, pain and suffering, damaged property, time lost from work and things of that nature. But in the realm of criminal charges, it's the DA's ball game.

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