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  1. #1

    Unhappy Legally Separating in Order to File for Child Support

    My question involves child support in the State of: Oregon.

    Okay, my situation is complicated, but here goes.

    My husband pays child support to his exwife for one daughter who is 16 (they have 3 joint children, but only one is under 21 or a child attending school). He is also now paying child support for a child conceived outside of our relationship in 2007 (paternity was established at the end of 2008).

    Child support for these two children takes exactly 50% of his earnings despite his remaining wages not meeting the states "self support reserve" (which is over $900). It leaves us with barely $700 a month to support our own daughter (which is what remains of his "self support reserve"- nothing out of child support's 50% goes to our daughter, despite claiming her as a non-joint child in the support calculations for the other two children).

    His child support is calculated to reflect exwife being unemployed despite the fact that she claims to have a well paying job (quite a bit higher than my husband makes). His child support for the child conceived in 2007 is calculated to reflect the fact that the mother claims she pays over $400 a month in childcare, despite the fact that my husbands adult daughter watches the child for free (but the adult child will not testify to this in fear of not being able to continue seeing the child, so I know there really is no way to prove that).

    So, I am filing for separation in order to protect our child financially. I also have daycare expenses, and medical expenses not covered by insurance (to the cost of $200 a month) that I intend to have calculated into the order.

    My questions are these;

    1. Will my child support be calculated out of the 50% of income that currently goes towards child support, meaning that they will have to recalculate both existing orders?

    2. If my husband agrees to pay $400 a month without going through the child support calculator, and we have that put in our separation agreement, and I submit that to the Department of Child Support, do they have to honor it? Will that amount come out of the 50% of his income currently going to child support, or will it come out of his "self support reserve" (which would leave him with only $300 a month to support himself, so of course he would never agree to that).

    3. Is there a way he could ask for verification of child care for the child conceived in 2007? He has no visitation with the child currently, and no contact with the child's mother (and she doesn't have an attorney to my knowledge) and does not desire any. I have pending harassment charges against the mother of the child.

    4. How to prove that the exwife is indeed employed? We believe that she is simply not responding to child support's efforts to get her to submit her earnings, which she has done in the past, so they automatically list her as unemployed, and assumed to be able to make minimum wage, so that is what the support is calculated as. They only proof we have is "screen shots" of her blog on a social networking site claiming that she makes $16 an hour, and listing her place of employment, which I am sure would be thrown out. Can't child support just look up her employment and verify, like they do my husband?


    Thank you in advance for any replies.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Legally Separating in Order to File for Child Support

    1. Will my child support be calculated out of the 50% of income that currently goes towards child support, meaning that they will have to recalculate both existing orders?
    check an online CS calculator.http://www.dcs.state.or.us/calculator/effective/

    2. If my husband agrees to pay $400 a month without going through the child support calculator, and we have that put in our separation agreement, and I submit that to the Department of Child Support, do they have to honor it? Will that amount come out of the 50% of his income currently going to child support, or will it come out of his "self support reserve" (which would leave him with only $300 a month to support himself, so of course he would never agree to that).
    if you intend on taking of any state aid, they are going to determine the CS. Your agreement means nothing.

    3. Is there a way he could ask for verification of child care for the child conceived in 2007?
    if he is paying for child care as a seperate item, yes. If it is merely paid out of his support, no

    He has no visitation with the child currently, and no contact with the child's mother (and she doesn't have an attorney to my knowledge) and does not desire any.
    that is his choice and does not alter his responsibilities to support his children.



    4. How to prove that the exwife is indeed employed? We believe that she is simply not responding to child support's efforts to get her to submit her earnings, which she has done in the past, so they automatically list her as unemployed, and assumed to be able to make minimum wage, so that is what the support is calculated as.
    when HE goes to court, he tells them.

    They only proof we have is "screen shots" of her blog on a social networking site claiming that she makes $16 an hour, and listing her place of employment, which I am sure would be thrown out. Can't child support just look up her employment and verify, like they do my husband?
    yes they can but you need to inform them, in the proper venue (in court during a child support hearing.)

    I know this sounds mean but, as Judge Judy says:

    do not have children if you cannot afford to support them. If he can only afford 1, then he should have stopped at 1. You do not keep having children you cannot afford to support.

    So, I am filing for separation in order to protect our child financially.
    so how is your husband having to pay for another residence and all the associated costs going to benefit you and your husband? I doubt you will see a net increase in income once you pay his rent and utilities.


    maybe it's time for him or you to start looking for a second job?

  3. #3

    Thumbs down Re: Legally Separating in Order to File for Child Support

    1. Thank you, but that does not answer my question at all.

    2. I do not intend on taking any state aid. I do not "breed 'em if I can't feed 'em".

    3. Due to the fraudulent child care claims, it doubles his support amount, as he is responsible for half of the costs of all child care.

    As far as his not having visitation or contact goes, I was only pointing that out to illustrate that why we cannot simply ask the mother of the child for child care verification myself, not to imply that he is not responsible for supporting the child.

    4. In our state, you do not appear in court. The department sends "fact finding paperwork" to each party asking for their wages. Child support is then calculated without any chance to rebut anything. We did not know she was claiming to be unemployed until my husband got the paperwork, stating what they have found the "just support amount to be", and when it will start. He now has to file for an appeal. The appeal hearing will be over the phone, and his exwife has yet to answer her phone for such a hearing in the 12 years they have been divorced, so they just enter her as unemployed and capable of making minimum wage, when in fact she claims to make double that.

    5. Thank you, but once again, no "court" is involved.

    And thank you for the wisdom you seem to have gleaned form a television personality, but I am sure you wouldn't be writing such a thing if I were the single mother in this case, who had a child by a married man. You'd probably be giving her tips on how to get the maximum amount child support allows. Considering that in BOTH the case of my husband's exwife, and this child born of an affair, the mothers have blatantly lied to obtain the maximum support amount. The amount that should be going to the child conceived in 2007 is less than half of what she is getting- according to the child support enforcement themselves- had she not claimed the child care, which she does not actually pay.

    So, thank you for the advice, but I am actually in search of legal advice, not the advice of someone with nothing better to do but sit around on a legal forum and attempt to belittle those in need of help- yes I have read your previous posts, and you my friend are a joke. I am sure you don't realize how jaded and bitter you sound, but maybe you should get off of the computer and search in reality for the happiness you are not going to find in this forum- leave the advice dispensing for those who are actually knowledgeable, and who truly wish to help others.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Legally Separating in Order to File for Child Support


    2. I do not intend on taking any state aid. I do not "breed 'em if I can't feed 'em".
    apparently you do since you cannot feed the one you have. Sorry, I did not put you in this position.

    3. Due to the fraudulent child care claims, it doubles his support amount, as he is responsible for half of the costs of all child care.
    then he needs to address this in the courts

    As far as his not having visitation or contact goes, I was only pointing that out to illustrate that why we cannot simply ask the mother of the child for child care verification myself, not to imply that he is not responsible for supporting the child.
    Ok, fine. It is often that parents do not feel obliged to support a child they do not see. My apologies.

    4. In our state, you do not appear in court. The department sends "fact finding paperwork" to each party asking for their wages. Child support is then calculated without any chance to rebut anything.
    BS. There is always some way to rebut.


    We did not know she was claiming to be unemployed until my husband got the paperwork, stating what they have found the "just support amount to be", and when it will start. He now has to file for an appeal.
    right there you go. You are rebutting the claim and you said you had no way to rebut the claims.



    5. Thank you, but once again, no "court" is involved.
    who do you think enters the order?

    And thank you for the wisdom you seem to have gleaned form a television personality, but I am sure you wouldn't be writing such a thing if I were the single mother in this case, who had a child by a married man.
    while I generally do not like Judge Judy, there is a lot of truth in her statement.

    and what does a single mother have to do with this?

    You'd probably be giving her tips on how to get the maximum amount child support allows
    .Huh? She would be allowed what the state allowed. That is it. I have nothing against anybody seeking what they are owed and in your case, you are claiming husband is paying more than what is owed.

    the courts apparently see it differently.

    Considering that in BOTH the case of my husband's exwife, and this child born of an affair, the mothers have blatantly lied to obtain the maximum support amount.
    and he has a right to contest


    The amount that should be going to the child conceived in 2007 is less than half of what she is getting- according to the child support enforcement themselves- had she not claimed the child care, which she does not actually pay.
    then contest the claim of child care expenses.

    So, thank you for the advice, but I am actually in search of legal advice, not the advice of someone with nothing better to do but sit around on a legal forum and attempt to belittle those in need of help- yes I have read your previous posts, and you my friend are a joke
    . believe what you want but my advice is correct. You simply do not like it because it is not what you want to hear.

    Oh well.

    you never did respond to the statement about how you believe husband moving out would benefit you financially.

    Oh, I think I know. He isn't really moving out, is he?

  5. #5
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    Lightbulb Re: Legally Separating in Order to File for Child Support

    I could be incorrect but I am getting the impression the OP is legally separating in order to file for CS to financially protect her husband from the other baby mamas - and not to protect the child she has with him as indicated from the post at the beginning of the thread.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Legally Separating in Order to File for Child Support

    Quote Quoting 525601minutes
    View Post
    I could be incorrect but I am getting the impression the OP is legally separating in order to file for CS to financially protect her husband from the other baby mamas - and not to protect the child she has with him as indicated from the post at the beginning of the thread.
    That is what I see as well. I said nothing opposing that.

    what I see is; she is attempting to cause the 50% limitation of withholding to be divided amongst the three families instead of the two. I understand her intent.

    but; if she separates and expects CS, daddy is going to have the expenses of separate housing and expenses unless OP intends to defraud the courts like she is claiming the other mama is. I can see no net gain in income from her actions.

    I suspect that is why the out of court agreement and not allowing the courts to set CS. It sounds like a paperwork sham.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Legally Separating in Order to File for Child Support

    Actually, I didn't post the "facts" of our situation, on the off chance that either "baby mamas" may be lurking here currently, but if you must know;

    My husband recently acquired a job that is over 200 miles from the town we live in (due to the company he worked for being shut down). He works out of that region most of the week- traveling between 3 states, and stays in the house of a mutual friend the nights that he works in the city his job is located in, so "maintaining a separate household" is not an issue at all. He lives off of his meager per diem, and pays the rest of MY bills with the little that is left of his pay check- purely out of guilt, I am sure, and claims he will continue to do so once we are divorced, but I highly, highly doubt that. Especially once another woman comes along, which obviously has never been problem for him, has it?


    The reason legal separation would benefit my child financially- correct me if I am wrong, but if I just "left him", I would not be entitled to child support for my child unless I had paperwork to prove it. My child deserves financial support, as well as medical insurance, life insurance, etc, just as much as the other children.

    Would you like any other information that is none of your business and has nothing to do with my question??? I certainly hope not. How dare you people- who are obviously not as educated in the actual laws as you would like to think- hang out on a LEGAL forum and badger people who have come here when they are hurting and honestly in need of advice. Why did I not respond to why I "think filing for separation would benefit me"- because it is personal information, and it is none of your business, at all. You are a stranger on a legal advice forum!

    Maybe you should all stop jumping to conclusions, stop assuming the worst about people, and stick to the facts posted.

    I am going through the worst time in my life. The man I am married to screwed over his family having an affair, and I am now leaving the father of my child who I vowed to spend the rest of my life with. I have no one to talk to about it, because that would require admitting that my husband cheated on me and ruined our family financially because of it, something I am just not ready to do.

    So, I go to forum that offers free legal help, because going to the local legal aid would make me feel like I was asking for a hand out, and this is what I get.

    Thank you all.

    I hope you can maintain your smug demeanor knowing that someone out there who is torn apart on the inside came here looking for help, and you helped put another nail in their figurative coffin. I am glad that you have found an outlet that allows you further decimate someones hope, when they are already in their darkest hour.

    Congratulations to you all.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Legally Separating in Order to File for Child Support

    Maybe you should all stop jumping to conclusions, stop assuming the worst about people, and stick to the facts posted.
    Maybe YOU should consider posting ALL of the facts, instead of sticking VOLUNTEERS with guesswork. And stop dripping snotty all over the place. You're getting it on the floor.

    Frankly, your initial post shrieked "fraud, fraud, do not want!" at me. So I left it be, because I wasn't about to help anyone commit fraud.

    The next time you go looking for free help, don't withhold important information that could DRASTICALLY change the answer you'll get. Now go look elsewhere, because with your stunning condescension, I doubt you'll find help here now.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Legally Separating in Order to File for Child Support

    Quote Quoting wifeandmommy
    View Post

    Maybe you should all stop jumping to conclusions, stop assuming the worst about people, and stick to the facts posted.
    I did. You failed to present "the facts" that were critical to your story. All of a sudden now you claim you are getting divorced. Initially, there was nothing said about a divorce. In fact, the ONLY reason for the seperation was to be able to split the CS allowed to be taken from his pay 3 ways instead of 2 so your child could benefit.

    Now you come with this story about him moving and all sorts of BS.

    Did you forget this:

    1. Will my child support be calculated out of the 50% of income that currently goes towards child support, meaning that they will have to recalculate both existing orders?
    if you are actually separating, why would it make any difference? You deserve what you deserve and the state will order what it does.


    2. If my husband agrees to pay $400 a month without going through the child support calculator, and we have that put in our separation agreement, and I submit that to the Department of Child Support, do they have to honor it? Will that amount come out of the 50% of his income currently going to child support, or will it come out of his "self support reserve" (which would leave him with only $300 a month to support himself, so of course he would never agree to that).
    ibid

    3. Is there a way he could ask for verification of child care for the child conceived in 2007? He has no visitation with the child currently, and no contact with the child's mother (and she doesn't have an attorney to my knowledge) and does not desire any. I have pending harassment charges against the mother of the child.
    why would you care? If you are getting divorced, this falls under: it's none of your business. His problems are his problems

    4. How to prove that the exwife is indeed employed? We believe that she is simply not responding to child support's efforts to get her to submit her earnings, which she has done in the past, so they automatically list her as unemployed, and assumed to be able to make minimum wage, so that is what the support is calculated as. They only proof we have is "screen shots" of her blog on a social networking site claiming that she makes $16 an hour, and listing her place of employment, which I am sure would be thrown out. Can't child support just look up her employment and verify, like they do my husband?
    ibid

    and don't forget the coup de grace:

    It leaves us with barely $700 a month to support our own daughter (which is what remains of his "self support reserve"- nothing out of child support's 50% goes to our daughter, despite claiming her as a non-joint child in the support calculations for the other two children).
    It leaves US? Us would be who? Well, by the context, it is easily determined that it would refer to you, your husband, and your joint child.

    If you are getting a divorce, US is not in the picture.

    and the title itself:

    Legally Separating in Order to File for Child Support
    where did divorce enter?. You clearly stated that you intended to file for separation simply to be able to file for CS.




    You can come back and make up whatever story you want but the new story does not even come close to fitting with the original story.
    Have a nice day.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Legally Separating in Order to File for Child Support

    Typically, when there is one or more previous orders for CS, the amount paid for those orders are deducted from the NCP's income. Then, the new order will be based on what is left.

    So, since your husband is paying 50% of his income for the previous orders the amount you will recieve will be very small to begin with.

    There is something else that you need to understand- since Federal Law limits the amount that can be garnished to 50%, yes, the 50% will be divided among the 3 orders. HOWEVER, this is going to send your husband into arrears on the 2 previous orders, and possibly yours also.

    Do you know what happens when a NCP falls into arrears?
    They can have thier DL suspended (which is usually the first action taken), they can be jailed, etc.

    How is your husband losing his job and DL and possibly being in jail going to help your child?

    Since you initially stated that you were going to seperate in order to financially protect yourself and your child, it is NOT going to work out like you think it will.

    If you and him are not really wanting to divorce, you and him should figure out ways to increase your combined incomes, such as getting secondary employment, etc.

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