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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2009

    Post Getting Guardianship of an Elderly Parent

    My question involves guardianship in the State of: Maryland
    DESPERATE for help. My mother is 80 & no longer capable of handling her financial affairs and is extremely vulnerable. There are 5 siblings. The three closest in distance have POA over affairs & I have POA over health care. My mom has always been very private. Just recently after seeing that mom was throwing money to every solicitor via phone or mail my sister took over handling her accounts (She is completely trustworthy). My mom's health has been going down hill and we have seen recent signs of paranoia. We feel she should no longer live alone and have been trying to establish her financial situation over the last several weeks so we can determine an approriate place for her to reside such as assisted living (where her friends now live). We have been communicating between the 5 of us very openly via emails. After taking her to doctor we found out many new, quite serious facts. We also discussed her recent lack of memory & paranoia. Since she knew her name, address, and some other simple questions (although she thought it was fall in Aug) she passed the cognative test which is now being used against us. We had to take her car keys according to her eye Dr. which was horrible for her. After open communication about possible heart surgery, the need for cornea replacement, and the financial mess we were sorting through my distant sister in FL felt it necessary for my mother to "go on vacation". We stressed it was a bad time to leave due to the latest news of her health and we needed to get her financial affairs in order. We also know what she is capable of doing. We had all origianlly agreed she should proceed to Florida when the weather was cooler and certainly not when all this was time sensitive. She proceeded with the trip anyway without our knowledge. I was unable to locate mom and after 7 agonizing hours my sister in FL finally answered the phone. We have since discovered my mom thought she was going to florida for 1 week. My sister said no it was always for 2 weeks. She did not return. We checked her bank accounts and she had run my mothers credit report almost immediately when she got there. We decided we were going to go down and get her after speaking with an attorney and before we could get on a plane we received a letter revoking our POA's. My sister closed her accounts in which we pay her bills, changed her address to FL and we have been unable to speak with our mom. "She'll give her the message". WE ARE FREAKING OUT! I have spoken to 2 attorneys who have stated we can petition for guardianship but it will be difficult and expensive especially since she passed the cognative test. My mom is weak, vulnerable and easily persuaded. I am also told in order to get guardianship we have to prove she is COMPLETELY incompetent by dragging her into court (again she will portray us to be the bad guys). My FL sister has made a life out of using people and is quite frankly a predator. She is following "internet 101" for how to establish residency. The only thing she hasn't done yet to our knowledge is buy a burial plot. WE ARE COMPLETELY DISTRAUGHT.
    1. Should we file for guardianship and prove my mom incompetent? 2. Do we need an attorney in FL or MD? 3. Can we just go get her? 4. How can we stop this....she won't stop until she gets exactly what SHE wants...not what's best for my mom. 5. Any and all ideas...PLEASE HELP.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Toledo, OH

    Default Re: Getting Guardianship of an Elderly Parent

    1) You've spoken to 2 attorneys, who have explained what you need to do, and that it will be difficult and expensive. You need to decide, based on what you've been told by professionals, whether this is something you want to do.

    We can't tell you whether you should or not. Only you know what's in your Mom's best interests.

    2) Florida, since that's where she is.

    3) Depends on whether she wants to go with you.

    What you need is a good attorney.

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