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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    11

    Default To Tell, or Not to Tell

    If you found out your ex was dating and living with a person who has prior Felonies for Drug Possesion, ID Theft, and and other misdemeanors such as Shoplifting, Mail Theft, Credit Card Fraud, Brawling and others..

    Knowing that, would you inform your minor children (1 preteen, and 1 under 10) in order to protect them, or will you be looked at as trying to pit your child against your ex in a change of custody case?

    The EX may or may not be aware of this persons criminal history and communcation with the ex is almost non-existent. My kids have descriped drug 'accessories' like bongs, joint rolling machines etc in the house that this person brought into the Apt. I feel like I'm in a potentially explosive situation here. i feel as though I must protect my children and inform them, since there 'parent' recently tried to drink herself to death (documented, police report) in front of them. CPS is a total joke and can do/has done nothing unless there is a body on the floor, bottle in hand etc. I just want to know what you all would do - to tell or NOT to tell...that is the question.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,773

    Default Re: To Tell, or Not to Tell

    Quote Quoting kinoman2008
    View Post
    If you found out your ex was dating and living with a person who has prior Felonies for Drug Possesion, ID Theft, and and other misdemeanors such as Shoplifting, Mail Theft, Credit Card Fraud, Brawling and others..

    Knowing that, would you inform your minor children (1 preteen, and 1 under 10) in order to protect them, or will you be looked at as trying to pit your child against your ex in a change of custody case?
    This should be a no brainer. NO, you should NOT inform your children.

    Apparently, none of the convictions have been for violent crimes, even if they were the proper way to handle it would be to report the situation to CPS.

    What you should do is to talk to your children about drug use in general, WITHOUT mentioning any names. Just tell them that they should not accept any drugs, nor should they touch anything involving drugs, from anyone. Again, do NOT mention any names.

    Then let your attorney know about the situation.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    11

    Default Re: To Tell, or Not to Tell

    Do you live on Fantasy Island?

    Actually he does have a conviction for a 'violent' crime. Domestic Assault Inflicting Bodily Harm. I did go to CPS, and they cannot do anything and I was told and I quote 'pot isn't a big deal, if it was meth, we may have other options. So I did more searching today and found further police reports for him and a Meth Possesion arrest.

    I guess I'll wait for my son to tell me the cigarette rolling machine was working and that the guns in the home are just bb guns. Honestly I feel if I don't warn my children about bad people making poor decisions, I just sugar coat a serious enviornment. That is not protecting the children IMO, that's setting them up to be a victim. I appreciate your response though.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Re: To Tell, or Not to Tell

    Talk to your lawyer about the situation, and form a strategy for moving forward.

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