Unsure of What to Expect in Step Parent Adoption

[mytwosons]

This is in Tennessee-

My husband is adopting in my son from a previous marriage. We've hired an attorney and my ex husband has been served with papers three weeks ago. For several years, my ex husband has talked about giving him up, he even sent an email a few days before he received his papers saying that he didn't want him, cussed me out, etc. He never calls my son, has seen him less than five times in the 6 years we've been divorced- only one of those visits was unsupervised, and when he returned my son started wetting the bed, let me know of several awful things that happened to him, he was told awful, hateful things, etc. My ex has also skipped several months of child support. He and his new wife have made our lives a living hell.

Now, we have reason to believe that he may be contesting the adoption. As far as I know, nothing has been filed yet and I'm just hoping that he's just "blowing smoke". If he contests this, my attorney has said that we will increase (by almost 4x) the child support and change the visitation to supervised... which he lives in another state, so it would be very difficult for him to do that. I am terrified, I don't know what to expect from this point.

[Xena]

This is in Tennessee-

My husband is adopting in my son from a previous marriage. We've hired an attorney and my ex husband has been served with papers three weeks ago. For several years, my ex husband has talked about giving him up, he even sent an email a few days before he received his papers saying that he didn't want him, cussed me out, etc. He never calls my son, has seen him less than five times in the 6 years we've been divorced- only one of those visits was unsupervised, and when he returned my son started wetting the bed, let me know of several awful things that happened to him, he was told awful, hateful things, etc. My ex has also skipped several months of child support. He and his new wife have made our lives a living hell.

Now, we have reason to believe that he may be contesting the adoption. As far as I know, nothing has been filed yet and I'm just hoping that he's just "blowing smoke". If he contests this, my attorney has said that we will increase (by almost 4x) the child support and change the visitation to supervised... which he lives in another state, so it would be very difficult for him to do that. I am terrified, I don't know what to expect from this point.

Why does your attorney believe that the CS will "increase by almost 4x"?
CS is based on income, not on any retaliation for contesting an adoption. IF ex's income has increased, the CS could increase, but for it to increase that much, ex would have to be earning ALOT more than before.

Does the existing court order require supervision for visits?
If it doesn't, what basis is your attorney planning to use to get supervised visits. Like CS, visitation cannot be supervised soley as a way to make visitation difficult for the NCP. There has to be a valid reason for the supervision, such as NCP presents a danger to the children, or has seen the children very little and needs supervised time for children and father to get to know each other.

Since ex hasn't filed his response, for now just wait to see what his response is and then go from there.

[mytwosons]

To answer your questions: In my divorce, we agreed to a minimal child support payment of $300. I was young and stupid, and the reality of life hadn't set in, and I thought that would be plenty so I agreed to it. I hadn't worked since before we married, and when we were married I lived in military housing, so I was ignorant at the time to what life actually costs! In TN, there is a worksheet that takes into consideration the mother's income, father's income (which is, incidentally much, much higher than it was before), what is spent on medical insurance and bills, childcare, etc. That worksheet- which she prepared- has a total of over $1100 per month.

As far as visitation: My ex husband is supposed to have regular visitation. He has NEVER exercised this. My son has seen his father less than 5 times in 6 years. Only one of those visits was unsupervised (meaning, not at his mother's house). My son was traumatized from that visit, he was yelled at, told that monsters would eat him if he got out of bed, force fed things that he did not like until he vomited, he began wetting himself, he was told "your mama's not here to save you now", just a miriad of hurtful things, and that was two years ago when he was only 5. He still has nightmares. The last phone call that my son received from him was in January of last year. The phone call before that was well over 6 months prior.