And whatever else the two of you do - each of you needs INDIVIDUAL counseling (and the military has excellent resources in this area because they KNOW that these cases can be career-enders) specific to domestic violence. Whether you consider what occurred to BE domestic violence or not, you both need to be aware that if ONE of you ends up with a criminal conviction for violating the order OR for ANY domestic violence related charge, that person's military career will be OVER (since by FEDERAL law you will not legally be able to possess a firearm). Learn the dynamics of domestic violence. If you're the one dishing it, stop. If you're the one receiving it, realize that staying could put you in a situation where another incident will put your other half's career on the line, and how dangerous events can become when someone realizes there can be no good outcome.
There are REASONS why the number of domestic violence related homicides for military members is much higher than in the civilian population (including murder/suicide). Take it seriously.

