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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
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    Arizona (I'm not happy here: lots of sand & no water. No fun for a child)
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    Question I Married a U.S. Citizen, Have Sole Legal Custody of 6 Year Old, but Can't Work

    Hello dear forum members.
    I have a serious issue of which I believe no one has an answer to. Some lawyers may have one, but money its a big issue for me.
    I married a US Citizen in 2003 in California. The same year our son is born. The hospital notified me that my wife had traces of Meth in her blood at time of my son's birth which indicated that the fetus had been expossed for some time to that drug along with her heavy smoking. I used to work in another city at the time with a daily 2-hr commute, which kept me away most of the day to know what she was up during her pregnancy. She used to be absent a lot for a couple of days at a time in those days.
    Soon after my son's birth I took her to Court, along with CPS on my behalf and obtained Sole Legal Custody of my son. By the way, my son and I still are togeter and alone without her since.
    After the judge's decission she just vanished possibly due to the criminal charges she had to face and have not seen or hear from her.
    Because of our sudden separation between my wife and I, my immigration status was never started, therefore I remain married with sole-legal custody of my now 6 year old boy and still I am not allowed to work, drive a car, open bank accounts, travel, etc... you can imagine how difficult life can be for me.
    I don't receive any form of child support or help from her or her family and the government doesn't believe my son deserves much help based on my legal status either.
    MY QUESTION IS: "ITS MY SITUATION REALLY HELPLESS?"
    We have been separated 5 years now and I remain with my son's full legal custody (and will likely remain that way for many years to come). I love my son more than anything in this world & know in my heart that whatever the laws are doing to my innocent 6 year old are unethical & unfair. I am fed up of struggling month after month, year after year, and of having to watch over my shoulder. I also don't happen to have any family in this country, but I must remain together to continue providing a decent life for my beloved little angel, for whom I happen to live my life. Think about it...We spend our time together 24-7 without anyone else around. My son doesn't know what a "mother" is about because he only has been with me since he was a baby. I don't have a social life, don't drink, don't smoke. We run errands together, play at the park together just about every day. I am a true "stay at home full time dad". (I will do anything to protect my child's safety and feelings).
    Any suggestions will be appreciated. At the present time I am trying to move to Florida with hopes of a new life with my son, but I still can't find a way to obtain a Driver's Licence under the circumstances I am.
    PLEASE HELP

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    Behind a Desk
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    98,846

    Default Re: I Married a U.S. Citizen, Have Sole Legal Custody of 6 Year Old, but Can't Work

    What exactly does it mean that "my immigration status was never started"? You mean nothing was ever filed? No petition to adjust your status based on marriage?

    You have custody, but chose not to divorce?

    You came to the U.S. from what country? On what visa? You went out of status when?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Arizona (I'm not happy here: lots of sand & no water. No fun for a child)
    Posts
    3

    Red face Re: I Married U.S. Citizen, Have Sole Legal Custody of 6 Year Old, but Can't Work

    MR. Knowtall, thank you taking the time to respond. You asked me the following:

    What exactly does it mean that "my immigration status was never started"? You mean nothing was ever filed? No petition to adjust your status based on marriage?

    You have custody, but chose not to divorce?

    You came to the U.S. from what country? On what visa? You went out of status when?


    It means that my wife never petitioned for me. We simply married y became parents. No petition to adjust my status was filed based on marriage.
    I came on a tourist Visa in 1980 from Mexico and simply stayed in the San Francisco Bay Area since. Life was much eaiser & kinder in those days for visitors who overstayed their visas. I even used to have a CA Drivers License from 1981 through 2004 and lived my life just like any other normal citizen. I passed the Real State Exam in 2002 and was ready to become "someone else", but things changed when I was married and my son was born as you already know.
    Regarding divorce: I did not divorce because of fear and poor counseling. I represented myself in court. Enough was enough! All it really matter in 2003 was to keep my little son away from such a distructive person as his mother was. "I had been in love with my boy since the moment I witnessed his birth" ... Soon after I retained his total legal guardianship, the judge granted me permission to move away from California. She never showed up to our final court meeting. No motions or inquiries have been ever placed to the Court to fight me back or see her son which only shows how much she really cares.
    By the way, the courts never asked me for any "legal status" at the time. I guess my "being married" was sufficient. The Child Protective Services Case Workers who backed me up during the 4 months of court sessions realized how dangerous my wife had been to our son due to her drug use and also supported me by telling me to "go away as far as possible, but to stay in touch with the system on ocasion" The case was closed back in 2003 and my baby son and I moved from California soon after. CPS told me a year later that my wife had an active arrest warrant for child abuse & child endangerment and several other drug use/sale related charges that i was not aware of. She has been hidding from the law since and I do not care to ever see her again after all the drama. (also, she has a serious medical condition: extreme Bipolar disorder). There is so muuuch more to the story, but I will try to simply talk about what matters only....and yes, my son does have a bit of a condition due to my wife's drug use, but we will leave that aside for now.

    I would be entirely happy back in my country since this could mean freedom and the ability to incorporate myself to the workforce withouth the hassles of and heavy restriction illegal aliens must endure in the US these days. Funny but, Mexico won't allow my son to have dual citizenship , so, the two of us must remain trapped in this country..."Where is Superman when you need him?"

    Would you like to know who I am and how I support ourselves these days? Visit my website: http://lightswitchbydesign.com/
    This is the "About me" page: http://lightswitchbydesign.com/Product_notes.html This can help you understand me a little more.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Re: I Married U.S. Citizen, Have Sole Legal Custody of 6 Year Old, but Can't Work

    If you wish to try to gain lawful status, the only obvious thing that comes to mind is divorce then remarriage to a citizen, this time petitioning to adjust your status.

    Why doesn't your son qualify for dual citizenship?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Arizona (I'm not happy here: lots of sand & no water. No fun for a child)
    Posts
    3

    Talking Re: I Married U.S. Citizen, Have Sole Legal Custody of 6 Year Old, but Can't Work

    Hi again, Mr Knowitall.
    Divorcing it wouldn't be an issue if it didn't play part on having my son's legal custody. You see, remaining married allows me somehow to remain my son's legal guardian without much of a dispute. But if I divorce my wife, the my beloved and innocent son would end up caught up in that dreaded web of the Foster Home System. I cannot allow the State to take over my son's life because he needs me in every imaginable aspect, the same way I need him by my side.

    Remarrying a stranger just for the possibility of gaining a better legal status it simply sounds awful. My life its waaaay too busy and complicated as it is to go around looking for candidates who may want to marry an "unlucky designer" who has a 6 year old son.

    I have heard, however, from a source inside the Immigration Offices that, people under circumnstances similar to mine, are entitled to an immigration Court hearing due to hardship, and possibly be granted a better status. after all, its my wife who failed us from the very start. I did not ask for things to happen in this fashion. Yet, I did what I had to do to keep my kid from being taken away by the State. Yes I sacrificed my career, house, and everything around me to prepare myself for the many sessions of court hearings for several months until the very bitter end. I FOUGHT FOR HIM AND WON IN COURT! I am very proud I did!
    Its now been 6 years since, and one thing its certain: I will always be by my son's side even if we had to end up living like this for ever... You have to admit that, even if I don't have enough merit to deserve help with my ackward legal sittuation, at least my son and I should be allowed to go back to my country, where I could offer him the best a Parent has to offer. Where he can finally enjoy his "other" family and better yet, where his dad can be free to function like a human being should function... FREEDOM!

    The Counsulate of my country claims that, in order for my son to obtain dual citizenship, I would have to be in my own country to start the application process... and that sound just ridiculous, but try changing their mind! All of this its not fair to my son!
    In this country people seem to care and worry more about the welfare of dogs & cats than humans.

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