My husband has had problems with his Dad since he was born. His Mother and Father got a divorce when he was about seven. His Father had told him for as long as he could remember that he might not be his kid. His mother swears that that is his father. No question about it. His father never wanted to pay to get a paternity test when my husband was a child. He always treated him worse than the two older children.
Years down the road now we are married and have two beautiful children (4 yr old daughter and 9 month old son). He was around a lot for our daughter but he has not been around at all for our son. He visits his other grandkids but never visits our kids. If we go over to their (my husbands father and his wifes) house they give us the cold shoulder. His father has spurts of treating him like his son then a day later acting like he is not his son.
We are so scared that he will do the same thing with our children and tell them that he doesn't think they are his grandkids. What kind of person would tell a child that and not do anything to find out for sure? My husband and his mother agreed to share the cost of a DNA test so his "father" would not have to pay a dime but he will not consent to it. We are just tired of all of this. My husband can't stand this anymore and wants to move away and have nothing to do with his "father" anymore. He feels like he can't be happy and move on unless he forgets about this man completely. He has joked about getting his half brother to get a hair from his "father" so he could find out if he is his dad so he can put everything in the past. My husband needs that closure. Would it be wrong to get his hair without him knowing it? Also, my husband wants to take his mothers maiden name. His fathers side has never really accepted him since his "father" goes on about him not being his child. How would we go about doing that for my husband and then myself and our children. We really want to have all of this put behind us before our daughter starts to realize whats going on. He favors his other kids children over ours and I do not want him damaging my children the way he did my husband. What should/can we do?? Please help us!

