Quote Quoting lmcgowen
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My question involves criminal law for the state of: California

My husband, soon to be ex, was arrested last night for felony - domestic violence. He was very intoxicated and after telling him he could not drive I put his keys in my purse. He asked for my phone. I told him he had to sleep on the couch and I was sleeping in the bed. He fought me tooth and nail for my purse and I pushed his face away. He then grabbed my neck, threw me down, and put me in a lock with his knee on my back. I was thrown on the floor trying to fight him off every time I got back up. He kept reaching for my neck saying I deserved this I was a cunt, bitch. I could not breathe for 5 seconds at a time while trying to get him off me. I have scratches, bruises, visible trauma. He was in the army and is an extremely strong person. I am very small boned but strong. He told me not to ever **** with him again. I called the police. He threatened to kill me and my dog. Basically a lot of what happened physically is a blur but I was afraid for my life and wanted him out of the house.

I am confused on how I am to proceed with either pressing charges or not pressing charges. Is it too much for me emotionally to press charges? I have been told I should, and I have the option not to and the state of california will press charges, however, I might be required to testify. There is intense stress and emotion involved and I want to do what will help me have the least amount of dates to show up in court. I don't want to testify because I am afraid of him. The court systems confuse me as it is.

I want this out of my life. I have filed for a 3 year restraining order against him. I do not want to see him, go to court, be within a mile of him. He was everything to me and I left my house, my animals, so I could get away from him. I cannot afford a lawyer to do this for me. I am suffering from so much emotional abuse and now this last piece of physical abuse that I don't want anymore to do with him. I know I can have a court advocate with me free of charge for emotional purposes however, I cannot afford for someone to speak for me.

Any advice appreciated.
You did the right thing by calling the police. I do have to tell you that the choice to press charges does not really lie with you. The DA will decide whether they will move forward with a criminal case or not.

I do adivse you to look for help in your community. A DV group will help support you through the emotional roller coaster you are on.

Please remember that if you assist this man in suffering no consequnces for his actions, the next wife or girlfriend might not be as lucky as you were.

Take care, ana