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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    2

    Default My Adult Daughter Who Gets SSI Has Left Our House and Left Us No Address

    I am the rep pay for her SSI. She is 18yr high functioning and left our house when we found she met a 28yr man ove the internet. He wanted to date her we felt the age was a bit much( she functions like a 12-14yr old) She got mad and hit us and abused us we called the police. They said for her to go to a friends house to cool off. Police said not much can be done as she is high functioning. She keeps in touch with email but we have no idea where or who she is with. How does this effect her SSI. She quit her job in May so i have 2 pay stubs to send in. Do i tell SSI she is gone and no forwarding adress? I am at lose of what to do???

    We are in Texas.

    thanks.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    California
    Posts
    1,045

    Default Re: My Adult Daughter Who Gets SSI Has Left Our House and Left Us No Address

    You should report to SSI that she has left and you are not sure where she is. SSA may put her record into address suspense and stop sending checks. You should not spend any of the money you received after she left your home until the address issue is resolved. Do you want to remain payee? It is probably in her best interest that you manage her money even if she doesn't live with you. This boyfriend is going to want her money so he may show up with her at a Social Security office and apply to be her payee. I cannot guarantee that the office will not change payee to him. I have seen things like that happen. But if they follow the guidelines, a parent without custody is still a preferred payee to a new boyfriend if the parent continues to show concern for her well-being.

    If you want to remain payee, she has to tell you where she is living so you can tell SSA. If she is not paying room and board, she may get less money than she gets now and if the people she lives with won't cooperate, then that is too bad for her. Her choice. You could arrange to send her a weekly allowance from the SSI, or send her share of the rent directly to the landlord if you have confirmed where she is living. You should get a copy of the lease or rental agreement.

    If you want to remain payee, you need to be very upfront with SSA. You need to ask them to make an electronic record that you want to remain payee even though she is now with this boyfriend. We both know that this will not last very long, but if he becomes her payee, who knows what will happen with the money. And SSA can't replace it. All SSA can do is stop future checks from being issued to someone. And they have to have about 10-14 days notice to stop a check from being issued on the first of a month.

    It is hard to see a child make foolish mistakes. Even harder when you know she doesn't have the mental ability to make good choices. But I think you need to let go of the idea that you can control her and make her make good choices, but be there to pick up the pieces when she falls flat on her face. And you can do that by remaining payee and disbursing the money throughout the month. Keep good records so this boyfriend can't claim you are stealing her money.

    I can feel your pain. Sorry that adult kids do this to us.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: My Adult Daughter Who Gets SSI Has Left Our House and Left Us No Address

    Thank you so much. She is not with the man off myspace. He called us and talked to us. She does not know much about the SSI. She has no asked for the money at all in the weeks she has been gone. We have no idea where she is?? She has no Social Security card with her to get a job.

    We have the police involved and they can not locate her. But she is on myspace and facebook daily. So we know she is alive.

    I would like to stay her rep for her SSI checks and just cash them and keep them. Can i do that?


  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Il.(near StL,Mo.)
    Posts
    5,252

    Default Re: My Adult Daughter Who Gets SSI Has Left Our House and Left Us No Address

    You need to let the Soc. Sec. office know what is going on. I would not cash the checks & definitely don't spend any of the money.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    California
    Posts
    1,045

    Default Re: My Adult Daughter Who Gets SSI Has Left Our House and Left Us No Address

    Technically, she can have a temporary absence from her permanant living arrangement (your house?) if she leaves one month and comes back the next month without affecting the SSI. But if she still gone on 7/1, then her living arrangement would matter. I also think you need to let SSA know what is going on and ask if you can hold on to the checks without cashing them throughout June and then decide what to do on July 1. However, your local SSA office may have a different idea of what you should do.

    https://secure.ssa.gov/apps10/poms.n...0!opendocument

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