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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2009
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    1

    Default What Can You Do About Parents Who Abuse Survivor Benenfits

    ok to make this short, my nephews father died last year at 26. well, his son now receives survivor benefits at around $800 a month. His step father however spends his entire check on his rent. his income is enough that they don't have to spend it on that but the step father likes to buy toys like boats, land, etc. he is selfish & the boy doesn't even have clothing to fit or things he needs. what can be done about this because the mother goes along with the father? Is there a way his money can be put into savings for him. I know it sounds bad but this money is all he will ever have left from him & it will be gone with him getting nothing & not being supported. thanks

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    California
    Posts
    1,045

    Default Re: What Can You Do About Parents Who Abuse Survivor Benenfits

    Well, the first question is how willing are you to take the chance of being ostracized from this boy's life if you take your accusations to appropriate authorities? And the second question is why is this mother so weak that she doesn't take care of her son?

    Your local Child Protective Services department has investigative ability to determine if a child is at risk. You could start with a report to them. SSA does not have that same investigative ability. When there are custody battles, there are many accusations made regarding use of Social Security benefits for children. Generally speaking, SSA will abide by the decisions made by a court or a child welfare agency. Otherwise, the proper payee is considered to be a parent with custody of a child.

    You could go to SSA with your accusations but if all you have is words and no evidence, it is doubtful SSA will do much. They may contact the parents who may deny what you have said, so then it is a matter he said, she said. However, if that were to happen, perhaps the step-father might slightly adjust his spending choices. Perhaps not.

    There are many, many families who use money designed for children's benefits to enhance their own lives. This is not an isolated story. But, on the other hand, the benefits that are paid (Social Security survivors, SSI, TANF, child support) are supposed to first be used to provide the child with food, clothing, and shelter. So payment of rent and purchase of groceries is a correct use of these benefits. And families have a great deal of free choice in deciding how to spend the money. It is awfully irritating to see selfish parents living on the backs of their children's benefits. But that may not be either abuse or misuse, as long as the child is having basic needs met. Many families see the money as all belonging to the family pot and disburse it for the family needs. And, of course, the parents are the ones who make those decisions.

    There are many families with step-siblings. If one of the siblings has significant survivor benefits from a deceased parent, or SSI benefits and the others do not, should that child then get the biggest bedroom in the house, the best furniture, the frequent outings to Disneyland, better video games, name brand clothes while the parents have to shop at thrift stores and garage sales for the step siblings? There are no easy answers for these questions. If the father were still alive and in the house, would this child then have better clothes to wear because the father was working and buying nicer things for the children or would he be buying boats himself? Would he be putting money aside for his child's future or would he also live for today and spend his paycheck for today's needs?

    If the mother is weak and allows her husband to run her life, you can attempt to get custody yourself and then become payee for the survivor benefits. I somehow doubt you will be able to accomplish custody. You can make a report to SSA which may put this parents on notice that they are being watched and they may adjust their spending. But again, SSA's investigative powers are weak, and other than changing to a new payee, there is little that SSA can do. You could make an anonymous report, but the parents may suspect you. And then you run the chance of not being allowed to see your nephew at all. SSA expects that the payee will save money for the child if daily needs are met with other income. SSA will not do it for them.

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