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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    2

    Default When Does Discipline Become Child Abuse

    My question involves juvenile law in the State of: TN


    I have a few questions about whether or not the threats my "mom" has thrown at me have any chance of coming true. I have to give a bit of background so that what I asks makes sense, hope it's not too long....


    Okay, so I am a 17 year old girl living in Tennessee. I have been having some problems with my "mom".

    On December 26th, she was yelling and cursing like she usually does about things when I said something sarcastic because I was tired of hearing her mouth. Out of nowhere, she pounced on me and started choking me against the nearest wall. I proceded to pull her hair to get her off me (she's about 6' tall and around 400lbs, so this didn't help very much) when she reached behind her and got my flat iron I had left out to cool and started beating me in the head with it. She hit me at least 10 times with it then threw it down and smashed it to bits. I yelled at her, "I can't believe you hit me in the head with a f**king flat iron!" She bit me REALLY hard on the hand and made my lip bleed somehow (everything was fast, so I don't remember how) by the time everything was over. I am told by a little girl that was staying with us (who saw everything) that I hit her back, but all I remember is pulling her hair. She called my names like "ugly b**ch" , etc. After my "stepdad" came in, she told him in Spanish (the genius doesn't speak English even though everyone around him does) that I said the "f" word. After she did all that, she's trying to complain about me cursing! She's the one I learned it from! She threatened to send me to juvenile a couple of days later for DEFENDING myself against her madness. Which brings me to my first question: Can I go to juvie for that? I have 3 witnesses who can attest to what I stated as being true. My stepfather says he had lost all respect for me because I fought my mother. The bite marks were on my hand for at least a week or two after (I took pictures of them in case). A few weeks before, she had literally pushed me through the wall; there was a big crater in the wall where my back had gone that she had to repair.


    Now, a few days ago she was yelling and cursing (again) at my autistic brother about having told him to do something and him not doing it. I interjected that it was my fault because I hadn't told him that she had said to do it. She started to yell at me something along the lines of I-should-mind-my-own-business. Then she said to go to my room. I said I don't have a room (which is fairly true, but I won't go into that right now) and refused. For one, it's very hot in "my" room and very dark, even with the lights on (which only make it hotter); plus, I just didn't want to go in. She got up and eventually started hitting me with whatever she could find. The oven's handle had broken off somehow and she started hitting me with that (I think it's plastic-coated metal, but I could be wrong). She pulled a great deal of my hair out, called me names (as per usual), and slammed me against her bed and put her body against my head, nearly suffocating me. In between the beating, she called the police saying she has an unruly child who she needs to have picked up. When I went to go get dressed for the cops to come, she locked me in the room. My second question: If I told the cops all of that would they arrest me or her? Keep in mind I never hit her or anything AT ALL. The next day my body was sore nearly all over: my back, my left knee, my right hand is swollen, and my right arm is sore and has a scratch and bruises up and down it I'm guessing because I shielded myself with it. My body is still sore as this was only a few days ago. She is always telling my brother and sister how I am evil (which they tell me later is so untrue), and she tells nearly every adult she can talk to about me being a typical unruly teenager. What do you think about this situation?

  2. #2

    Default Re: A Few Questions About Abuse, Etc

    If you are being physically abused you need to be picking up the phone and calling 911 as soon as possible. As days go by, your story looses credibility and those inflicting injuries have time to come up with what they'll say. If things are hot and heavy and you can't really talk, just dial 911 and drop the phone (DONT hang it up, just dial and drop or set it down so the line remains open). Police get nowhere faster than to something that sounds like a fight. If you hang up, they'll call back, giving other people a chance to answer and try to say that it was a mistake and "everything's fine".

    What happened when she called police?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: A Few Questions About Abuse, Etc

    When I asked when the cops were coming, she replied saying that she called them back and told them not to come because she doesn't want police coming to her house (looks bad). I don't think I heard her use the phone a second time. When I pushed redial to see what number she had dialed, there were a bunch of numbers and symbols (maybe 20 altogether). I told her I didn't think she had called them at all, she said she had dialed 911 and they had put her on hold or something. I think she lied and had never called them. It was some futile attempt to get me to "behave". So, no one ever came.



    I think I'm stupid for feeling this way, but I don't really want her to go to jail. If she does, my brother and sister will have to go to their fathers (who are both alcoholics) or into the foster system. Even though I think she's evil, she seems just a notch above foster care (I've heard about bad things that happen to foster kids).

  4. #4

    Default Re: A Few Questions About Abuse, Etc

    Quote Quoting *nell*
    View Post
    When I asked when the cops were coming, she replied saying that she called them back and told them not to come because she doesn't want police coming to her house (looks bad). I don't think I heard her use the phone a second time. When I pushed redial to see what number she had dialed, there were a bunch of numbers and symbols (maybe 20 altogether). I told her I didn't think she had called them at all, she said she had dialed 911 and they had put her on hold or something. I think she lied and had never called them. It was some futile attempt to get me to "behave". So, no one ever came.
    I'd have to agree. Police aren't in the habit of cancelling a response to such calls. Standard procedure is to send officers even if mom calls back to cancel - just to make SURE.


    I think I'm stupid for feeling this way, but I don't really want her to go to jail. If she does, my brother and sister will have to go to their fathers (who are both alcoholics) or into the foster system. Even though I think she's evil, she seems just a notch above foster care (I've heard about bad things that happen to foster kids).
    Part of how our legal system works DOES include accountability for offenders. If mom is committing a crime, the system WILL attempt to follow through - and whether that would include jail time or not no one can say. It's possible. Other outcomes, such as a change in guardianship, counseling, or parenting classes, are also possible.

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