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  1. #1

    Exclamation Involuntary Termination of Fathers Rights

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: WI

    I got pregnant and had my daughter when I was 17- that was 2003. Her biological father has had ZERO contact with her (no calls, birthday cards, etc) since she was 3 months old. He does pay child support however. When she was 1 1/2 my fiance moved in with me, and took over the father role. We were married July 26th of last year, and she is now 6 and my husband has always been her dad.
    Now my husband wants to adopt her (in his eyes, this is HIS child), so I contacted her biological father and requested he sign over his rights. He immediately said no way, that he has been saving the money (for six years) to take me to court for visitation.
    Here is my problem with this:
    He has ALWAYS had visitation- the court granted him four hours a week supervised. He NEVER took advantage of it- we walked out of the courtroom, and I haven't heard from him since.
    He has underage drinking charges, and a class a misdemeanor for criminal destruction of property.
    AND to top it all off, his brother found him a year ago in a diabetic coma (he is now an insulin dependant diabetic) and he NEVER contacted me to let me know- and this is something that is VITAL to his daughters medical records. He doesn't take care of himself- I have seen him outside his mothers house drinking beer.
    I am wondering what my chances are of terminating his parental rights and going forward with the adoption.
    My 6 year old doesn't have any idea who this other guy is, and already has a dad. I am worried that if the courts allow him to come into her life now it could cause permanent damage.
    The thing that bothers me the most is WE LIVE IN THE SAME TOWN!! The population is around 2200 people, I found him on facebook in five seconds, and he can't come see his daughter for 6 years?
    Advice please!
    Thank you.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,773

    Default Re: Involuntary Termination of Fathers Rights

    Quote Quoting kristirufener
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: WI

    I got pregnant and had my daughter when I was 17- that was 2003. Her biological father has had ZERO contact with her (no calls, birthday cards, etc) since she was 3 months old. He does pay child support however. When she was 1 1/2 my fiance moved in with me, and took over the father role. We were married July 26th of last year, and she is now 6 and my husband has always been her dad.
    Now my husband wants to adopt her (in his eyes, this is HIS child), so I contacted her biological father and requested he sign over his rights. He immediately said no way, that he has been saving the money (for six years) to take me to court for visitation.
    Here is my problem with this:
    He has ALWAYS had visitation- the court granted him four hours a week supervised. He NEVER took advantage of it- we walked out of the courtroom, and I haven't heard from him since.
    He has underage drinking charges, and a class a misdemeanor for criminal destruction of property.
    AND to top it all off, his brother found him a year ago in a diabetic coma (he is now an insulin dependant diabetic) and he NEVER contacted me to let me know- and this is something that is VITAL to his daughters medical records. He doesn't take care of himself- I have seen him outside his mothers house drinking beer.
    I am wondering what my chances are of terminating his parental rights and going forward with the adoption.
    My 6 year old doesn't have any idea who this other guy is, and already has a dad. I am worried that if the courts allow him to come into her life now it could cause permanent damage.
    The thing that bothers me the most is WE LIVE IN THE SAME TOWN!! The population is around 2200 people, I found him on facebook in five seconds, and he can't come see his daughter for 6 years?
    Advice please!
    Thank you.
    Since your ex is contesting the adoption, you really need to speak to an attorney right away. Depending on your state's laws, it might be possible to go to court and have rights involuntarily terminated, but that will most likely take an attorney to do.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Involuntary Termination of Fathers Rights

    I actually have spoken with an attourney- and not to sound malicious, but one of my friends told me that whatever lawyer I speak with, he CAN'T use them, so she told me to talk to as many lawyers in my area as I can. Is that true?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    2,031

    Default Re: Involuntary Termination of Fathers Rights

    Quote Quoting kristirufener
    View Post
    I actually have spoken with an attourney- and not to sound malicious, but one of my friends told me that whatever lawyer I speak with, he CAN'T use them, so she told me to talk to as many lawyers in my area as I can. Is that true?
    No. Your friend is an idiot. And the scheme DOES sound malicious. Grow up.

  5. #5

    Red face Re: Involuntary Termination of Fathers Rights

    Quote Quoting Baystategirl
    View Post
    No. Your friend is an idiot. And the scheme DOES sound malicious. Grow up.
    My friend is an idiot that works for a lawyer. I guess that makes sense. It was really nice of you to take time out of your day to tell me to grow up. I hope it made you feel really big. My guess is you have no reason to even be on this part of the board since you obviously don't have children you would do anything for.

    So thanks for nothing.

    And now that you have gone out of your way to be crass, would you mind answering my actual first series of questions? The lawyer part of it doesn't mean much to me, which is why I was confirming it in the first place. He can't afford one anyway, but I don't go on hearsay.

    I would really appreciate it if you could back it up to the beginning and answer the rest of my inquiry.

    Thanks a WHOLE bunch, golly gee.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Officially across the country from where I've been all my life
    Posts
    4,494

    Default Re: Involuntary Termination of Fathers Rights

    1. Your husband is NOT your child's father. The man who created her, and is paying support for her is her father. If you are, have been or did lie to your daughter about her parentage, then you may want to let her know that you lied.

    2. His medical issues are his personal business. You are not entitled to know ANYTHING about what goes on with him medically under any circumstances. As he is not entitled to know about your last pap smear.

    3. The underage drinking that (presumably) happened when he was underage is a non-issue. I'm sure you weren't the poster child for morality when you were underage either.

    And your friend who works for the lawyer (for the record, the person who cleans the toilets works for the lawyer as well) is wrong.

    4. Bay was correct when she told you to grow up. That you took offense to it shows there is some validity to the statement, for a grown up simply wouldn't have replied to that portion of the message.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,906

    Default Re: Involuntary Termination of Fathers Rights

    Quote Quoting Baystategirl
    View Post
    No. Your friend is an idiot. And the scheme DOES sound malicious. Grow up.
    It's possible for a communication with a lawyer to create a conflict of interest, preventing representation of the other party. Lawyers need to be on guard for this type of game.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    13

    Smile Re: Involuntary Termination of Fathers Rights

    Please don't go off on me as you did a previous responder, but the question regarding talking to every lawyer in town so no one can represent your child's father may or may not be true (I have heard that before, so it very well may be), but even suggesting that is rather childish and ridiculous. Don't waste your time. Why couldn't he just...gee, I don't know...go to the NEXT town over and hire a lawyer...or the NEXT or the NEXT? There is life beyond your small town, one would presume, so that idea sounds kinda silly. You have better things to do with your time than to try to sabotage your child's father and doing so would make you look like you need to, as previously stated, grow up.

    You should speak to a lawyer as soon as possible to check out your options in the original matter, which isn't childish at all. It seems as if your child's father views his child as a posession to own rather than a living, breathing, feeling human being growing up without him. You may, on grounds of neglect as well as his lifestyle being a direct danger to your child, be able to be successful. Good luck and leave the malicious ideas, no matter how tempting, behind you.

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