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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2009
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    2

    Default Texas Stepchild Adoption; Bio Dad Not on Birth Certificate

    My question involves adoption law for the State of: Texas.

    I have what could be a really sad story but fortunately for my daughter's benefit, is not, which is solely due to my husband (J), whom I met and married after her birth. She knows him as 'Daddy' and hasn't a clue he isn't her bio dad, as she has never seen him (M).

    M scampered immediately after the "I'm pregnant" announcement and denied paternity then. (I am 100% positive he is her biological father). Rather than exposing her to a lifetime of a poor single mother's care, I decided she would be best taken care of by an adoptive family, and began with adoption proceedings, contacting M and receiving, ludicrously, a refusal to sign over rights and a request for custody himself.

    At that point the family lawyer retained for the adoption stated we would have to have his rights revoked due to abandonment pending a paternity test (of course the child had not been born at this point).

    I heard no more from him before, during, or after the birth. The hospital would not allow me to place his name on the birth certificate, as I was not married to him, nor was he present. Unknown is there instead.

    Predictably, I could not go through with the adoption and decided to parent her instead, very luckily meeting J and essentially procuring her an amazing dad, who actually forgets at time he is not her birth father.

    The child in question is now 8 years old and to this day has not been seen or inquired about by M. His family, with whom I (not my child) have had very limited contact with (hi, how are ya, once every three years or so. They have not denied her being their family member and did come to the hospital for her birth) have no idea where he is now.

    I suppose the main question I have is this: We cannot afford a lawyer at all, but really want her to have the rest of our name (and Daddy would like to be her Daddy in name as well). Is there anyway we can go through this, considering this man has never acknowledged her, much less paid any child support, without enlisting a lawyer for termination of rights and paternity testing?

    Seems unfair, also, to have my daughter have to meet this man who discarded her so callously, so long ago.

    Any insight would be hugely appreciated!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,867

    Default Re: Texas Stepchild Adoption; Bio Dad Not on Birth Certificate

    I suppose the main question I have is this: We cannot afford a lawyer at all, but really want her to have the rest of our name (and Daddy would like to be her Daddy in name as well). Is there anyway we can go through this, considering this man has never acknowledged her, much less paid any child support, without enlisting a lawyer for termination of rights and paternity testing?
    the simple answer is; No.

    more complicated; yes but not the best idea

    most court situations can be performed pro se but many, if not most, are better served by utilizing a lawyer. You are going to have to have paternity established and then request the bio fathers rights be terminated due to abandonment. Lying to the court about not knowing who the father is when asked (, and you will be asked) is a really bad idea.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    2

    Unhappy Re: Texas Stepchild Adoption; Bio Dad Not on Birth Certificate

    I do thank you for your advice, but I guess I should have clarified that we do not nor ever will plan on "lying to the courts" as we understand it is "a bad idea."

    And now that I have received one response that essentially told me, quite condescendingly, what I already knew, I am hesitant to continue this, but...we are desperate for advice.

    Additionally, we have a new wrinkle, found out today...

    So.

    Bio dad is deceased, 3 months as of today. When I contacted his brother a few days ago asking if any family member has heard from him, that was the response.

    Nothing about the child, or their possible intentions/regard of her...

    NOW WHAT?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    2,031

    Default Re: Texas Stepchild Adoption; Bio Dad Not on Birth Certificate

    Quote Quoting oneluckyliz
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    I do thank you for your advice, but I guess I should have clarified that we do not nor ever will plan on "lying to the courts" as we understand it is "a bad idea."

    And now that I have received one response that essentially told me, quite condescendingly, what I already knew, I am hesitant to continue this, but...we are desperate for advice.

    Additionally, we have a new wrinkle, found out today...

    So.

    Bio dad is deceased, 3 months as of today. When I contacted his brother a few days ago asking if any family member has heard from him, that was the response.

    Nothing about the child, or their possible intentions/regard of her...

    NOW WHAT?

    JK was absolutely NOT condescending. You should apologize to him for stating that.

    ANY adoption should be done through a attorney. Yours is complicated and most especially should be handled by professionals.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,867

    Default Re: Texas Stepchild Adoption; Bio Dad Not on Birth Certificate

    thanks bay.





    liz

    hire an attorney

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    2,031

    Default Re: Texas Stepchild Adoption; Bio Dad Not on Birth Certificate

    Quote Quoting jk
    View Post
    thanks bay.





    liz

    hire an attorney
    Welcome!!

    You are a nice guy and shouldn't be maligned by members...

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