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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    2

    Default Family Needs Help

    My Fiance was on Probation due to 4 DUI in a 10 year Period. We have been living together 4 years and was suppose to get married this fall. His Probation was 5 years and he has served 3.5 of this. He has completed all programs required, paid all fees and fine and had also completed a 3 month Day program when he had one violation of a urine test that was inconclusive.

    My 13 year daughter recently was very angry and called 911 after I grounded her and took away some privileges because of horrible behavior at school, at home and at her father's house. We had a disagreement because of a cell phone bill that she had done using the internet that was over $300. I left to talk to her father and the Fiance was not home at that time of the quarrel, he was at a friends. When I left the house my 13 year called 911, hung up but they called her back. Police were called to our house and my daughter made statements that the Fiance had been drinking, had beer in the house and she dumped it out in the sink There were 5 beer cans in our garbage because someone had thrown them on our lawn (teenage littering I imagine on a Friday Night) and I had picked them up and threw them in with the aluminum cans. We have followed all no alcohol rules within our household for the past 4 years and except for the one inconclusive the Fiance has nothing else and has reported on time always.

    Police took her statement and ABP was put on my vehicle and I was located after this happened, I was driving to my exhusband's house to discuss that our daughter was having severe attitude problems and wanted him to come to my house to talk to her and get her to stay at his house until she minded me. Ex is much stricter than me and she listens to him because she has to. I'm the mom and I'm not listened to very much. I'm changing this, believe me--always tried to be the good mother but I know have a out of control teenager. I have 3 other children no problems. The Police came on the phone and asked where my Fiance was and how they could get ahold of him. I gave them his cell phone number.

    They questioned him on what had happened and also took an alcohol blow test and urine test. He blew no alcohol, of course the urine test results were not immediate but were returned and were negative.

    This all happened on a Saturday Morning. The Fiance contacted Prob Officer and was asked to come in to discuss the following Tuesday A.M..

    He went to see the PO and he put him in jail for 8 days while investigating this incident. I was not questioned and my 2 daughters were not questioned again or anyone I know-so what kind of investigation it was is beyond my knowledge. The Probationary Officer threatened revocation during a 6 day period, on the 8th he said he decided revocation or offered a deal of No Contact Rule for the next 18 months of myself or any of my children and that the Fiance had to find a new place to live for the remaining of his Probationary Period and to cancel all wedding plans.

    Can the Probationary Officer do this? He will not provide in writing any reasons for his decision and says he does not have to. He has not even contacted me to tell me of the No Contact and has ordered the Fiance not to call me. This was relayed to me by my parents.

    The Fiance needed to get out of jail to be able to work and also has child care support expenses therefore he signed the No Contact Rule. He states he did not really understood when he signed out what it meant but just wanted to get out of jail at the time.

    We have asked for a Review by his supervisor by filing a Grievance but the PO says it won't do any good because he discussed with her prior to offering the deal and she agreed.

    The Probationary Officer has also called our friends where the Fiance is staying and read to them Police Statements my minor daughter made, most of it was not truthful and there were no complaints about the Fiance in the statement except for her allocations that he was drinking, that I bought the beer in the house and supposedly said "One won't hurt him and who will know." Is this legal that he can talk to Third Parties regarding statements made outside of a Parent or Guardian without my permission.

    I'm devastated by all of this. It has hurt our family. I have put Daughter in Family Counseling and the Probation Officer was advised of this. I Tried talking to the Probationary Period but he would not listen and actually called me a liar to protect my Fiance. He will not offer any other solutions and is threatening Misdeamenor Charges on me apprently if I contact my Fiance even by phone and revocation of my Fiance's Probation if I call him, see him or he calls or sees me.

    HELP

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Place of Residence

    The probation officer can generally impose restrictions on where a probationer lives, and in your boyfriend's situation it sounds like your boyfriend consented to the new restriction. He would likely benefit from consulting a lawyer if he wishes to try to have the issue revisited.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    2

    Default Family Needs Help

    Thank you Aaron.

    We have contacted a lawyer but have to wait till next week after the Complaint to supervisor is reviewed and answered before they will contact them to discuss the case.

    In the meantime can they enforce on me any No Contact Rule. I have no criminal background not even a traffic ticket.

    And can they revoke if he tries to call me, we have a home together and were suppose to get married.

    Also can this Pro officer continue to contact people that I know personally and discuss my minor child with them. He also is using threatening tactics to my parents that they are required to contact him if there are aware if I contact Mark, if not they could spend up to 6 months in jail.

    I feel like I'm a criminal because of bad judgement by my daughter and an unreasonable Pro Officer.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default

    If he violates the no contact rule, he can be violated. I doubt that the probation officer will much care if you cooperate in the violation.

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