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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2009

    Default Haven't Seen Son in 8 Months - Is it Too Late for Visitation

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Minnesota

    I was wondering my odds of being denied parenting time. I am trying to avoid hiring a lawyer if at all possible, but wanted to see what you all thought here.

    About 3 years ago I met my ex. We dated for almost a year when she got pregnant. We broke up when our son was about two months old (he will be two years old this month). She left and moved back in with her parents. She is 28 and I am 27. We were never married. I did sign a recognition of parentage at the hospital.

    I only saw my son a handful of times after she left. The last time I saw him was 8 months ago. We agreed to meet so I could see them and we almost instantly got into an argument, so I left. We speak on and off (mostly off).

    She comes from a wealthy family with extremely controlling parents. Originally her parents wanted us to give our son up for adoption, then wanted to adopt him themselves. Thankfully neither of those things happened. The last time her parents found out we were speaking they threatened to throw her (and our son) out of their house.

    It took about a year for her to request child support through the courts. She mailed back a personal check I sent her for child support once, so I didn't bother sending any more. I paid back child support in full within 30 days of the child support hearing.

    my details:

    - Have a 6 year old daughter from a previous relationship who I have every other weekend.
    - Live in a house with a roomate. My daughter has her own room here which would be shared with my son if my requests are granted.
    - No criminal background. No drug background. No domestic violence in any relationship.
    - I'm a cop and work overnights.

    her details:

    - history of domestic violence in her parents home involving her, her mother, her sister, and her father. No police called ever. They are an affluent family and I don't think any of them would ever dream of involving police in their business.
    - lives with her parents.
    - no criminal background. Minor marijuana use several years ago... nothing significant. No domestic violence background in our relationship.
    - works m-f day shift as a server

    The two issues I see her bringing up are abandonment on my part, and my alcohol use. First of all I accept it has taken me entirely too long to get parenting time established. I cannot change the past, but again I accept my mistake and would like to make things right. Secondly, I drink... but don't consider my alcohol use to be anything more than moderate. The only reason I think it will come up in court is because she used to tell me I drank too much and she will probably use anything she can in court. I have never drank a single drop of alcohol when my daughter has been over.

    So my question is... do you think I will have issues with getting parenting time? I requested every other weekend Fri-Sun. I enrolled in a parenting class and will have it complete before our court date (July).

    Second question is... should I have an attorney? I've already filed everything. Her parents are very well off (both medical doctors) and will spare no expense in maintaining full control over their grandson. To be honest coming up with 2-5k for an attorney would be really difficult for me.

    Sorry it was so lengthy. Thank you for your time. Comments would be appreciated.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006

    Default Re: Haven't Seen Son in 8 Months - Is it Too Late for Visitation

    Although you haven't seen your child in 8 months, that is not going to affect your chances of being awarded visitation. You are the father, and as such, you have the right to have court ordered visitation.

    If you can afford an attorney, it would be wise to hire one since her family is well off and can afford to hire an attorney.

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