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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2009

    Default Wife Cheated, Now Claims I Abused Her for 6 Years

    My question involves restraining orders in the State of: Georgia

    I caught my wife having cheating with 2 other guys on the internet, planning to meet up with one of them, i thought something was going on for a few weeks but put it to the back of my mind as i trusted my wife and thought we had a great 6 year marrage, but when the phone rang she ran to it and startedt to go outside with it she has never done this in our 7 years od being together. She would spend more and more time on the internet, ignoring our 5 year old son and instead be typing away to who knows, i would walk into the room and as soon as i entered she would click the screen off. She told me that the guy who lives in the house behind me asked her to go over one afternoon for some fun. The next day i see her standing at the window with just a bra on rubbing herself and the curtains open (my wife never has the curtains open as she likes the darkness) i asked her what she was doing and she said applying lotion.
    Over the pst few weeks she has been going out more and more on a friday and saturday night with her friends, i went to work on the sunday and a friend of mine come up and told me she is posting weird things on her facebook he showed me one saying (i am proud to be a MILF) if you dont know MILF means Mother Id Like to F..k. I asked her about it and she told me it was one of her 15 year old sons friends that said it to her.
    I then had to go on her hotmail to get my friends e mail address, and found a e mail to a guy saying she tried to call him and not to phone her back as didnt want husband to know, he replied to her saying he wanted to come and see her and cannot wait to hang out with her, also calling her beautiful and saying he would talk to her tomorrow. at this point i asked her what was happening and she said he was just a friend. i asked her to move out of the bedroom and she wouldnt so i threw her things into the spare room and closed the locked our bedroom door, she in a rage tried to kick the door in causing the door to come off the hinges.
    the week went on with us rowing and i offered to move out so she could have everything, she declined and stayed. Two more things, while moving her things out of the bedroom i seen she had all new sex underware, for the last 3 years i have only ever seen my wife in granny panties, i also found condoms in her drawer, my wife and i NEVER use condoms, so i am guessing they was not for my use. The next night i thought we was moving on and trying to get back together so we made love, right after we made love she looked me into the eyes and said THAT MENT NOTHING TO ME. I had to contact the bank, it was then that i found out that over $4500 was missing from the joint account, i asked her about it and she said she took it, i asked her what she had done with it and she said she paid the bills.
    I siad to her tuesday morning that i needed the camera left out so i could sell my things on e bay (star wars figures) as i didnt want them no more, along with other things i did not use and told her i would be late home as i had to sort out somethings (pay bills and go to the bank to sort out the mess she had left it in. I went to work on tuesday and she phoned me at work, she said was i going to see a lawyer, i said i was going to see one to see about the situation we was in (i love my wife and always wanted to work things out with her so there was no way i wanted a divorce) she then said you will regert it if you carry on and see the lawyer, i said why are you threating me what to she replied YOU WILL BE SORRY i said goodbye and put the phone down. I returned home to find things missing, the laptop was gone along with the tv ps3 computer and the doors was open. I thought someone had stole the property and phoned the police. they came around and it was then i found my wifes wedding ring along with her clothes missing and all of my sons clothes gone too. i phoned my lawyer and he told me to get the police again to file a report, what i did. I changed the locks as i was scared that i would come home from work the next day to find everything else missing from the house. She didnt even let me know where she was, no note or anything, i phoned her friends and family but no one knew.
    Wednesday i went to work, she knew i worked from 7 to 3 and she left 4 messages on the answer phone.
    1 david i need to come to pick some things up
    2 was my 5 year old son, daddy dont call the police i love you daddy
    3 was my wife, Josh misses you and he wants to see you so please phone me back.
    4 my wife again, okay if you dont want to see your son i will tell him daddy does not want to see him.
    She has a new cell phone amd i do not know the number, when she phones my house it comes up with UNKNOWN NAME UNKNOWEN NUMBER on caller ID so i do not know how she expects me to phone her back.
    I went to work on thursday, and my wife phoned to see what time i finished work, one of my co workers told her i finished at 3pm, i thought great she is going to bring Josh to see me and spend sometime with me, i was so excited and rushed home. when i got there a sheriff follwed me in and served me with papers.
    The papers was PETITION FOR TEMPORARY PROTECTIVE ORDER In the order she says throughout our 6 year marrage i havehurt her, tried to hurt her, threatened me, hit her, slapped her, choked me, choked her several times causing her to fear for her life and the safty of our child. I couldnt believe it, i broke down and couldnt believe her lies. the order also states that i cannot have no contact with my son untill it goes to court on 11th may 2009. It is breaking my heart knowing that my little boy is missing his daddy, he is a daddys boy as i did most things with him wihile the wife fed his mcdonalds, burgerking, pizza, and fried chicken most days, while i was playing with him she was always on the computer or on the telephone with her friends.
    When we 1st got together my wife told me that her ex husband used to abuse her, she told me the father of her 1st son abused her too, along with years ago her fater abused her and also her papa abused her.
    My wife has i history of mental illness, she was put into a mental institution by her fater when she was in her late teens, after she had our son she treated him real badly and it was called post natal depresion, along with a breakdown, also last year she had to go and see a mental illness doctor.
    I just do not know what to do, i contacted a lawyer and he told me she has the upper hand as most judges believe the wife in cases like this.
    If anyone knows what or can give me advice on how to prove she is lying, anything even a percent of even seeing my child again please let me now.
    Many thanks

    Please forgive me for spelling, at the moment i am in such a mess

  2. #2

    Default Re: Wife Cheated, Now Claims I Abused Her for 6 Years

    Quote Quoting djhjvlh
    View Post
    i contacted a lawyer and he told me she has the upper hand as most judges believe the wife in cases like this.
    If anyone knows what or can give me advice on how to prove she is lying, anything even a percent of even seeing my child again please let me now.
    Unfortunately, the answer is: it depends. Typically, the burden is on HER to prove to a court that the order is necessary. Every judge is different, and without knowing the history of rulings of the particular judge in your case, no one can really guess. Some judges will want more proof of events than others - typically the first words out of a GOOD judge's mouth when 6 years of abuse are alleged are "can I see the copies of your police reports" (or SOMETHING to document the allegations - judges just don't believe, and reasonably so, that a person gets abused for 6 years and only NOW has some urge to get a protective order). Other judges hand out restraining orders like they are candy at Halloween. Most are somewhere in between.

    As far as the child is concerned, it's typical for the temporary order to include both mother and children. You'll have ample opportunity to address this at the upcoming hearing - remembering that typically unless there is SOME level of documentation or testimony that the CHILD was somehow involved or witness to the events, courts can and often do issue the order between the adults and tell the adults to figure out a way for visitation to continue. Don't give up hope about your child - courts want children to have TWO parents unless they've got some REALLY good reason NOT to.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2009

    Default Re: Wife Cheated, Now Claims I Abused Her for 6 Years

    Thank you for spending time oout getting back to me about the situation, i guess i have one of the haloween judges who hands them out like candy as there is not police or hospital records as i did not ever do the things she claims. Many thanks

  4. #4

    Default Re: Wife Cheated, Now Claims I Abused Her for 6 Years

    What you have now is a temporary order (not the perminant order I was referring to above) - and they are VERY easy to get - for good reason. They are granted when there is allegation of violence - and in the big picture, courts generally grant the temporary ones very easily, because they are well aware that if it isn't needed, that should be reasonably argued at the hearing. In other words, people call the fire department when they smell smoke, they don't wait to make sure that the 20 foot flames are real. Temp orders work the same way - you issue a temp one now to put SOME level of protection in place, until such time as both sides can be there before the court to tell their side and allow the court to determine if the flames are real or bogus.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2009

    Default Re: Wife Cheated, Now Claims I Abused Her for 6 Years

    The thing is i still love my wife with all my heart and i do not want to hurt her more with bringing up the past, but i need to see my son. catch 22 situation.

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