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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    3

    Default Want a Divorce but Husband Threatens Me with Kids

    My marriage has been steadily going down the tubes for the last year. I have repeatedly asked my husband to move out and give me space so that we can work on things. He has refused and now we are at the point of no return. I want a divorce with full custody of our kids. However, my husband is threatening to make my life hell when it comes to custody. His parents are quite wealthy and he has told me that it doesn't matter what it costs - he will make quite sure that I don't get custody of our kids. I on the other hand am not wealthy - I just get by. Obviously I know I'll need an attorney, but I can't afford the caliber that his parents can nor can I afford a long fight. I worried about even starting this fight becasue if it means my kids don't get to live with me, I'd rather stay in this marriage than loose them. I really don't know what to do. I've listed some random facts below about our situation to see if helps in any advice that you have.

    1. Our kids are 6 yrs and 16 months.
    2. My husband has not held a full time job throughout our 8 year marriage. The first 2 years of our marriage, he was unemployed, the next 4, he worked part time earning about a fifth of what I did. Now he's a full time student.
    3. My husband has a sleeping disorder and falls asleep at random times through out the day. If he's looking after our kids, he just puts a movie on for them and leaves the 6 year old to look after the 16 month old. I will not let him drive distances longer than about 10 minutes alone with our kids becasue he'll fall asleep at the wheel.
    4. We've had a few domestic incidents over our marriage. One was 7 years ago where the police arrested him based on an eye witness and issued an automatic restraining order. I refused to say anything and as part of a plea deal he pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct. The records were supposed to be expunged after 3 years. The other incident was 3 years ago where Police were called to our home by a neighbor. Again - this time there were no eye witnesses and I refused to say anything so nothing happened. I'm not sure if both of these are recorded somewhere or not.
    5. My husband has what I term an unhealthy interest in porn. I catch him jerking off (sorry for the detail) to barely legal girls often and the thoughts of having two little girls grow up around him bothers me to no end.
    6. He received a citation 3 years ago for supposedly taking a photograph of a male child with his cell phone in a public bathroom. Supposedly the child was mistaken and since no photographs were found his phone (minutes after the case)the case was dismissed.
    7. My husband plans to use the fact that I was recently diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety against me. I take meds daily and feel that I have things pretty much under control. I also feel that my bad martial problems are the underlying cause of this to begin with.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Toledo, OH
    Posts
    16,307

    Default Re: Want a Divorce but Husband Threatens Me with Kids

    However, my husband is threatening to make my life hell when it comes to custody.
    Pardon my forthrightness, but your husband is a festering moron.

    The court? Does not care how much money his Mama has. The court is not the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy or the Great Invisible Sky Daddy who will give him what he wants if he only just spends enough.

    The court will not abide such shenanigans as threatening to make your life hell if you don't comply with his wishes. The court will not abide such shenanigans as him making demands or attempting to "use your depression against you".

    The court will award custody based on the full facts of the case and the best interests of the children, no matter WHAT he threatens you with.

    It's clearly time for you to get out of this marriage. Staying in "for the children"? Is no life for them. You're miserable. Get the meanest, most bloodthirsty attorney you can, get it started, and get out of that mess. You - and your children - deserve better than that.

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