My question involves adoption law for the State of: Tennessee
My ex husband and I divorced five years ago. I have been married to my new husband for over three years. I have a son from the previous marriage, and also a son from my current marriage. My ex husband has had very little to do with my son. As of now, it's been over a year since his last phone call to him and there was only one phone call in the six months preceding that. As far as visits, he's seen him four times over the past five years. He does pay child support regularly, but this is only because he's in the military and it comes directly from his paycheck into my bank account. There was a period of 5 or 6 months a couple of years ago in which he paid nothing, and I have never collected that amount from him. My husband desperately wants to adopt him. My son wants his stepfather to be his daddy. I believe that we meet the state's criteria for having my ex's parental rights terminated and allowing the adoption.
My problem is that my ex husband is in the military and has been overseas for a few months (it was several months before his deployment since he last contacted my son, and he was stable at his post, and in fact was taking vacations and leave all over the place so he could have visited or at the very least called). He is able to make phone calls and emails to his parents several times a week, so there is really no excuse for not calling my son. I'm assuming that I need to wait until he is stateside again to go forward with an adoption. If I don't, I'm sure I'll be branded the terrible ex wife who stole the poor soldier's child from him, even though that's not the case at all. I have no idea when he'll be back, I don't have his address in the states, nor do I have his phone number. I don't even know what unit he's assigned to, only the base and state that he deployed from. I do have an appointment with an attorney in a couple of weeks, but I don't know where to begin or if I should just wait it out for awhile. I just need some advice!