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  1. #1

    Default Constantly Being Taken to Court

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: New Jersey

    Hello all. My childs father has recently re-established visitation with my 3 year old daughter. We have plenty of issues such as domestic violence and threats towards me which led to me leaving him. He is very manipulative and always "playing games" with visitation. At this point we just went thru mediation and came to an agreement. The agreement includes that he is to email me (no phone calls bc of harassment) to confirm visits, as he has a history of not showing up for weeks, months, years at a time. Recently he has been ignoring all contact from me as well as not emailing me to talk about visits, even when I attempt to contact him to ask if he will be coming. If I dont hear from him I assume he is not coming due to his history. Recently he has been ignoring all my attempts at contact about visits and the whole time he was going to the police station (where we meet) and filing reports saying that Im just not showing up (I could have done this to him a million times!). He takes me to court every 3 months and he is now bringing me to court Again, I dont know what for exactly, but what should I do? I really am not denying him at all, but he is playing these games to try to make it look like it. Help...??

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Las Vegas Nevada
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Constantly Being Taken to Court

    hmm... possibly - he is trying to attain some kind of custody agreement with you and most likely the communication has falleb apart. This is the only reason I could see for him continually taking you to court. Have you tried a third party mediator to try and dig out the underlying issue.
    Now, lets say its true and for some obsessive reason he is trying to pin some bum 'rep' on you. Take notes, write every date of attempted contact (also note the reason for the contact). Note the date of pick ups and the times. Anything regarding the activity on his behalf and your part in it. Restrain yourself and make sure that the reason you attempt to contact him is legit and in the childs favor. As a divorced single mom, on the border of an ugly custody fight with a father you should make sure and protect your daughter and yourself.
    This will just be the beginning, anyone will tell you - if he is still 'hot' (angry or unstable and offensive) with you, who knows what can be cooked up (but hopefully nothing will be). Now you say that he has not been contacting you Do you have a child support order? maybe you should get one on paper... google your local child support enforcment agency. and begin the filing process. Meanwhile, Just notate everything. Make an attempt to see what he wants or needs as the other parent and try to come to a mature agreement so those games can stop and you both can move on. Its already hard enough on the child being raised in a seperated family - let alone with the parents bickering between eachother, no offense sweetie, believe me these kinds of fights happen alot in family court.
    Point is, Your child is going to need alot of additional attention to understand why her family is different from most and you must povide as much structure as possible. Or whichever of the parents can provide that will be given the right to have the child, because the courts see this firsthand 50-100 times a day and that is whats important - you know.
    At least if he takes you to court you can be protected with those notes on the activity with him and show that you have attempted to 'reach out to the other parent'.

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