Four years after our divorce, my ex-husband is still telling our children that I tried to kidnap them, falsely accused him of child abuse to kick him out of the house, am guilty of several felonies, that I lie to them, etc.--all totally bogus. He has apparently shown the children "papers" to "prove" what he's saying.
In the year prior to my decision to divorce him after 12 years of marriage, my ex was diagnosed with a mood disorder, was on medication, and he lives in another reality that my children have to live in, too, for half of their lives. I do not have any current information on his condition or meds.
I lost many friends from his allegations, but the most hurtful thing is how the children are twisted up inside, particularly our youngest boy who is now 8. The older 2 children, now ages 10 and 13, have begun to realize that not everything their father says about their mother is true, but it still causes them a great deal of tension. A custody evaluation in 2002 admonished my ex for badmouthing me, but still granted him 50-50 custody.
Is there any legal or formal action or consequences I can pursue? My attorney has said there isn't anything I can really do, and I hate feeling so helpless in this situation. In other ways my ex is an acceptable father, but he remains extremely hostile and uncooperative toward me. I do not want to remove their father from their lives, but he works hard to undercut their attachment to me. No education or mediation (we saw a custody mediator for 2 years after the divorce) has helped his ferocious anger abate.
Anyone out there have experience handling someone like this?
Thanks for any help!

