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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    3

    Default How to Protect Yourself Against an Ex Parte Order of Protection

    My question involves restraining orders in the State of: Tennessee

    I just don't know what to do. I am a single mom in TN with full custody of my son I had with my ex husband. Our divorce was final in January (default awarded to me), but we have been separated almost 3 years.

    He does not want to pay child support and every time I press the issue, he calls the police out and makes a report stating that I am harassing him. I only recently found out this was going on. I dont know how many reports he has filed.

    I am adament about getting child support and will not drop it as that goes for our son. My ex has not worked a job in almost 7 years now - he is 28. He plays music at a few local bars a couple times a week and is lucky if he make $100 a week. I have went to the extremes to collect child support -such as contacting his band owner and telling them that if they didn't start with-holding the child supprt like they were asked to do by the state, that I would get with a local organization and we would picket the clubs they played at....for knowingly paying a deadbeat dad cash "under the table". This is the most extreme thing I have done and only done it once. It worked for a while because he actually started paying me to avoid embarrassment. I don't know if what I did was breaking the law, but I never threatened anyone, just told them of my plans.

    He stopped paying again and I told him I was sick of trying and that I was going to turn it over to Child SUpport Services and let the state persue him for the child support. He knows what will hapen if he doesn't pay so what does he do?

    He calls the police out again and then today I got served to go to court where he has taken out an Order of Protection against me. I have an answerng maching FULL of threatening messages he left me, calling me every name in the book, I have emails showing that it was the day after I told him I was turning the child support in to the state when he filed for this.

    What does he have on me? He has my number calling his home (he claims its over 30 times in 7 days) but some of those times was his son calling (his son even left him messages).

    I have now asked him to keep all communication to email and he still calls me. I am SO tired of this man using the system against me. I have never threatened him, abused him, or made him fear for his safety. I have only tried to collect the $6000 he is behind in child support. The state has told me that I can also try to collect it (wthin the law of course) since they are so far behind. When I say "collect" it, I mean I call him and ask for it. I do not go to his house.

    He has called and made threats of sexual molestation against my oldest son (from anoter marriage) towards my youngest son.....my yougest son was taken away from me for 2 months while they investigated. NOTHING was found and the case was dismissed. Before our divorce was final, he took my son away for a week and wouldnt let me talk to him (even kept him out of school). He has done everything in his power to take my son away so that he don't have to pay child support. Thats ALL this is about.

    I have spent $10,000 in the past year on a divorce and getting full custody of my son. I have no more money for an attorney. I cannot take much more of this. How can I stop this? How can I prove to the judge that I am not the one doing he harrassing here?

    I a SO scared that if this Order of Protection is granted, he will then use that against me to try to take custody of our son. I don't mind if the order is granted if he can't use it to get custody of our son because then it will stop him from contacting ME.

    The only thing I am guilty of is getting angry about a deadbeat that wont work and pay his child support.

    Im just looking for advice on what to tell the judge. Have any of you been through this? Is it possible to dispute the charge and have it thrown out? Its in the civil court.

    Thank you for reading this and any advice on what to expect would be appreciated.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Re: How to Protect Yourself Against an Ex Parte Order of Protection

    Given that pattern of conduct, you should consult a lawyer.

    If he's not paying his child support, you don't have to ask him for it - you can bring a motion asking the court to review his delinquency and potentially hold him in contempt.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: How to Protect Yourself Against an Ex Parte Order of Protection

    Thank you for your response. I just dont have the money for another attorney. I'm going to have to go this one on my own and HOPE! I'm printing emails, texts, and have my answering machines ready to take with me. I hope the judge will let me use those thing to show which end the harrassing is really coming from.

    Yes, I have thought about the motion for child support. I just hate to see someone go to jail. Ive been there and I hated it. If he's in jail he cant work and I know I wont get anything. He does pay some......or did for a while. I know that the jal would prob be the best thing I guess. Im just not good at being a "tough love" type of person.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: How to Protect Yourself Against an Ex Parte Order of Protection

    Well the 23rd came and went. He, the PETITIONER, never even showed up for court.

    What do they do? Re-set the date.

    Yay for the legal system.

  5. #5

    Default Re: How to Protect Yourself Against an Ex Parte Order of Protection

    They do nothing. He didn't show. He'll have to start over if he wants to try to pursue it. Make sure you're keeping track of any notices to appear that show he has filed. If he develops a pattern of starting and dropping cases, the Clerk's office can help you apply to have future cases "screened" before he'll be allowed to bring them (in other words, if he's using the court system just to harasss you, they'll step in and not allow future filings until the complaint is approved by a judge).

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Officially across the country from where I've been all my life
    Posts
    4,494

    Default Re: How to Protect Yourself Against an Ex Parte Order of Protection

    I have to agree with Mr. KIA. The OP needs an attorney because from the tone of her email, she certainly has gone about a course of conduct that would constitute harrassment.

    You've been watching too many Lifetime movies, this is not the way to collect back support.

  7. #7

    Default Re: How to Protect Yourself Against an Ex Parte Order of Protection

    Ugh....Clerk, do you know what the penalty is for bringing up Lifetime moves? Geez...and I was trying to eat too.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: How to Protect Yourself Against an Ex Parte Order of Protection

    there are a lot of places that help single mothers. I would start calling them and asking for help. You do not need to deal with this alone, legally or emotionally.
    Not sure if this is in your area or not, but something like this place
    http://www.chattbar.org/www/docs/119
    Makes me really grateful for my ex wife reading about how you guys are getting along :-)

    Wishing you luck,

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