My question involves name change laws in the State of: CA

I was with my ex-bf for 12 years and were never married. In 2004, I had a brief affair with another man and got pregnant. But I was still with my ex-bf at that time and during the pregnancy, so I wasn't sure who the father is and continued on with the pregnancy. I had given birth in March 2005 and my ex-bf had voluntarily signed the declaration of paternity and is on the birth certificate. As she is growing up (she is now 4 years old), I realized that my ex-bf is not her biological father. After her 1st birthday, I came clean and told my ex-bf that she is not his. Of course, he was livid but accepted her as his own. But the damage has already been done in regards to trust issues and me and my ex-bf separated back in early 2007. Please note that I have an older daughter from my ex and she is now 13 years old. Due to my ex-bf substance abuse and abusive personality, I was awarded full, legal and physical custody of my two daughters and have a restraining order against him.

I don't know if you can call it fate, but I accidentally ran into the guy I had an affair with, mid-year of 2007. I had told him what happened and told him that we share a daughter. I showed him a picture of her and never questioned me because they are a replica of each other.

You can't really say that we picked up where we left of, but right now, we do have a good relationship, he wants to establish his parentage to his daughter and wants to change her name and put his name on birth record.

I went to the courthouse this week and the facilitator said that in CA, since the 2 year has passed to challenge the declaration of paternity, the only thing that I can do is to ask my ex-bf to give up his parental rights so that the biological father can step up and assume responsibility. I can't really see that happening - my ex-bf will not do that and due to restraining order against him, we are not able communicate. Please note that ever since we separated in 2007, he hasn't given me any kind of monetary support as he hasn't worked since 2004.

Is there any way around this? I know that I had my faults and take full responsibility for my actions. I just want to make this right.

All advise are greatly appreciated.

Thank you.